it's the wedding of a guy that i went to highschool/college with, and as such i expect that there'll be a lot of people from thet era there, of which i'd decided that i'd rather not see, oh, 100% of them. has anyone else endured this? how'd it go?

In August I bailed on my closest HS buddy's wedding day bc I had no desire whatsoever to see my old classmates, the bulk of the audience. Oh, and my ex-girlfriend of 8 years and her new latino boyfriend were also making an appearance which sealed the deal for me. The only thing I really missed out on was that Arthur Dodge & The Horsefeathers played the reception.

I told him I had an 'interview' for a really great position that weekend. He actually bought it. But I never got the fucking job! And it was so sweet.

the potential for ex-girlfriends should be nil. i'm just not looking forward to my gf hearing a lot of stories like "hey, remember when you dropped out that third time" and "yeah, being a doctor is ok i guess" and that sort of crap.

If the groom is a really close friend, I'd suck it up and be there for him. If you're not that close to him, a gift and your non-attendance should suffice.

Ummm, Jets-Steelers tomorrow.

oh, i have to go, there's no way out. i'm going to miss the UNC/Wake game (mindboggling, we went to Carolina, you'd think that he would have looked at the schedule before letting this date get settled. This is one crafty broad we're dealing with here).

If you must go, then I say you just be yourself. I'm sure your girlfriend has a pretty good idea of what kind of person you are so anything that's said at the wedding won't come to any surprise to her. Just sayin'. Although these reunion type events are tedious and I avoid them like the plague. Also, I'm sick and tired of "coming out" to people and them responding with a "I knew all along." That drives me nuts. Fuckers.

Chase, don't you understand that these situations are what life is really all about. Ol Gar here would put on a sharp suit, a mean buzz and give everybody the "Hey, Guy!" treatment. You have a girlfriend, so you can't openly hit on everyone in attendance, but I would.

Anytime anyone gives you shit, accuse them of being just released from a mental hospital, the carrier of some kind of severe venerial disease, or a person who allegedly "touches children inapropriately (never to there face, and always with the caveat "I heard a rumor")

Soak up as much free booze as humanly possible, and insult nearly everyone, save the bride and groom's parents, whom you should make think you are the coolest guy in attendance (this can sometimes be accomlished by getting them drinks, or even burning one down with them.

Then, duck out early to watch football.

Lest you think I'm being facetious, ask mssrs. Derris or Bloor. They can confirm this M.O.

Beasties follow-up in three...two...

Go.
Leave Early.
Better to Burn Out than to Fade Away. - Do one thing early in the reception that everyone'll remember you for (good or bad). Then, duck out soon afterwards. Everyone will remember what you did, while no one will remember what time you left.

If you aren't up for that, there's always the accidently-spilling-food/red wine-on-your-girlfriend (or vice versa) trick. You'll have to get home/take care of it before the stain sets, and they can't expect you to hang around w/ a giant stain on the front of your shirt...

In Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer they discuss a couple who skipped their own daughter's wedding due to the fact that it was scheduled on the weekend of the Alabama-Tennessee game.

I feel their is a special place in Hell for people who schedule weddings on the day of major sporting events.

I think that I might be hiking down to Cuernavaca, Mexico for a friend's wedding in May. She's marrying her new Latin lover. I fugure that I will get some seriously good food out of this. Need to brush up on my atrocious Spanish "skills."

Confirm? I think I may have developed key points of this strategy.

Result? All of my friends' parents and very few of my friends think I'm a real neat guy.

A couple of examples of what these guys are talking about (Both at a wedding for a friend of ours in Jamaica):

Yail- At the reception dinner, family members stand to give their little toast to the bride and groom. Then Bloor decides to give one as well because people at our table "told him to", but doesn't even stand up or introduce himself to do it, just sits there and talks. Course we were all pretty drunk already at the time so it was pretty funny I thought.

Senator- Him and I hunting down an employee of the resort we were at to confront him about the amount of blow I had purchased from him minutes before. Then him and my ex-gf doing some of it the one person bathroom shack on the beach. Oh, and of course he was sweating like a son-of-a-bitch. A legend.

I pretty much can't stand any social contact with other people but weddings take the biscuit as the worst possible way to lose a whole day out your weekend.

Why can't people get married on there own without inviting people who they knew would rather be doing something (anything!) else than be there?

They don't do the dating, engagement, honeymoon or births in a hall with hundreds of people impatiently looking at their watches. Why not just get married by yourself and quite bugging the shit out me?

And wedding presents! Why should a sad, lonely, impoverished loser like me have to buy successful people presents. That's just cruel. The whole wedding ritual is just people fucking with you - "I'm better than you, you fucking weed!"

Brandywine. River. Museum.

I usually just drink, drink, drink at weddings.

I almost got my ass kicked at my cousin's wedding when I tried to get some free booze from the open bar at the reception next door. It was funny watching some dude threaten me with a cop standing not 5 feet away. Yeah come on and hit me, jackass.

Right on. A wedding is what currently scares me most about marriage. I can deal with the commitment, I just don't want to have to invite a bunch of people to witness it happen. However, candidates for the position of Mrs. G would probably want to hold such an event, I guess.

my mother recently asked when i was going to find a nice girl to settle down with. (that's funny coming from the woman who a few years ago said i was such an asshole that i'd never find a girl who'd tolerate me.) and i made some brash comment about wanting to be married in some judge's chambers with a few witnesses. she was not amused and i can imagine that a potential mrs Z would probably not be either.

Drink, dance, screw your girl in the bathroom.