The new Sweet Sweet Connie thread

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:54 pm

So, you can check out the newest SPIN and see the whole article about a self-empowered woman known affectionately as Little Rock Super-Groupie Connie Hamzy.

excerpts from this article:
"My attitude has always been, Time's a-wastin, let's
get it on"
"If I give you head, will you give me some t-shirts"
When informed that LA Guns and Slaughter flew in, so
there's no tourbuses: "Damnit, where am I supposed to
suck dick?"
"At Van Halen last Friday I didn't suck one dick. Not
a single one."

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:55 pm

This isn't online anywhere, is it? Dammit, I can't be seen buying Spin in public. Maybe I can sandwich it between Over 40 and Honcho.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:55 pm

You're a misogynist shrew baiter.

e-stone · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:56 pm

OMG--COULD YOU PLEASE AT LEAST PUT NSFW IN THE TITLE NEXT TIME????

what's wrong with you you fucking asshole!!!!!??????!!!!????

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:56 pm

And.....

"Keith Moon once fucked me with a banana in a backstage dressing room while a bunch oh people watched"

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:57 pm

Yail Bloor Wrote:

And.....

"Keith Moon once fucked me with a banana in a backstage dressing room while a bunch oh people watched"

She stole that story from my mom.

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:58 pm

elephantstone Wrote:

OMG--COULD YOU PLEASE AT LEAST PUT NSFW IN THE TITLE NEXT TIME????

what's wrong with you you fucking asshole!!!!!??????!!!!????

Aside from being a mysoginist, alcoholic Krylon addled Democrat?

Nothing.

two guns holla · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:58 pm

Oh good, now I know what people are talking about. Sweet girl indeed.

Black Magic Putin · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:59 pm

is there anything TO grand funk railroad? i've got one song on a comp that's on there b/c it was sampled by de la soul, and i feel like it'd fit in nicely around the james gang and what have you. am i completely off base here? any worthwhile songs there? bear in mind that i'm not much of a classic rock fan, which i blame on not having any older siblings.

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:01 pm

They're just an American band, they'll come to your town, help you party down, and maybe gang bang Connie Hamzy

Black Magic Putin · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:02 pm

Senator Krylon LooGAR Wrote:

They're just an American band, they'll come to your town, help you party down, and maybe gang bang Connie Hamzy

yeah, ok, see, i don't think that i want that.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:04 pm

chase Wrote:

is there anything TO grand funk railroad? i've got one song on a comp that's on there b/c it was sampled by de la soul, and i feel like it'd fit in nicely around the james gang and what have you. am i completely off base here? any worthwhile songs there? bear in mind that i'm not much of a classic rock fan, which i blame on not having any older siblings.

My uncle swore up and down they were the greatest band in rock and roll history. Then he decided rock music was of the devil and went all Biblical.

FT is probably the resident expert.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:05 pm

chase Wrote:

is there anything TO grand funk railroad?... any worthwhile songs there?

Really, no. One of the most useless discographies of any high profile band from any era. "We're An American Band" was the closest they came to being remotely listenable. Bad singin', bad playin'.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:05 pm

chase Wrote:

is there anything TO grand funk railroad?

No.

Black Magic Putin · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:11 pm

like most of you, i'm intrigued in this story enough to read it, but not enough to buy spin magazine. however, a quick trip to google turns this up, which it enough for me to cement my respect for this women on the wall of unintentional comedy:

Quote:

In the beginning, there was Connie Hamzy, the infamous rock'n'roll groupie (who claims a résumé stretching from Vanilla Ice to Richard Carpenter) and the first of candidate Clinton's extramarital headaches. In the January 1992 Penthouse, Hamzy detailed her 1984 encounter with Governor Clinton, when he tried to pick her up in her skimpy purple bikini at a Little Rock hotel pool. After stealing a quick grope, they were unable to find an available room, and their session went unconsummated. As Newsweek reported, Hillary Clinton wanted to destroy Hamzy's credibility, such as it was (Hamzy boasted of taking on 24 guys during a single Allman Brothers concert). But Hamzy, who passed a polygraph test administered by the American Spectator, persuasively declared, "I may be a slut, but I'm no liar."

Since her disclosure, it's been tough going for the woman Grand Funk Railroad immortalized in song as "Sweet Sweet Connie." In 1995, she was cited by police in a Little Rock park after her thong bikini failed to conceal her sufficiently. In 1998, her campaign for mayor of Little Rock self-destructed when she was arrested for public intoxication. To support her groupie habit, she's worked a string of dead-end jobs from part-time retail clerk to breeder of Persian cats. So it's understandable she grows agitated when I ask her for a Clinton assessment. "What's in it for me?" she asks. "Free publicity," I offer. "I can't eat publicity," she snarls. "I'm not talking unless you're talking money. Call me again, and I'll call Bruce Lindsey at the White House." I try to explain that Lindsey only intimidates people who've had sexual contact with Clinton, which, as of this writing, excludes me. But she abruptly hangs up.

no guru · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:11 pm

I kind of liked their first few albums, when they were a pale Blind Faith/Traffic trio kinda deal. Hippie-dippie tunes like "I'm Your Captain/Closer To Home" are on par with with early Chicago/Santana type stuff, but Farner got much cheesebaggier as the band became famous.

d · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:13 pm

Didn't Grand Funk Railroad also do a horrendous cover of "Locomotion?" I'm ashamed to even say I know that....

no guru · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:21 pm

dnorwood Wrote:

Didn't Grand Funk Railroad also do a horrendous cover of "Locomotion?" I'm ashamed to even say I know that....

Little Eva was Mark Farner's babysitter. GFR covered "Locomotion" as an inside joke.

-DJTriviaspoon

FT · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:28 pm

chase Wrote:

is there anything TO grand funk railroad?

Absofuckinglutely.

Reprinted without the express written consent of Steve C, Whiney, and Major League Baseball...

http://www.advantexcom.net/~bob66/images/geeklove.jpg

[img][376:500]http://www.advantexcom.net/~bob66/images/geeklove.jpg[/img]

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:34 pm

chase Wrote:

like most of you, i'm intrigued in this story enough to read it, but not enough to buy spin magazine. however, a quick trip to google turns this up, which it enough for me to cement my respect for this women on the wall of unintentional comedy:

Quote:

In the beginning, there was Connie Hamzy, the infamous rock'n'roll groupie (who claims a résumé stretching from Vanilla Ice to Richard Carpenter) and the first of candidate Clinton's extramarital headaches. In the January 1992 Penthouse, Hamzy detailed her 1984 encounter with Governor Clinton, when he tried to pick her up in her skimpy purple bikini at a Little Rock hotel pool. After stealing a quick grope, they were unable to find an available room, and their session went unconsummated. As Newsweek reported, Hillary Clinton wanted to destroy Hamzy's credibility, such as it was (Hamzy boasted of taking on 24 guys during a single Allman Brothers concert). But Hamzy, who passed a polygraph test administered by the American Spectator, persuasively declared, "I may be a slut, but I'm no liar."

Since her disclosure, it's been tough going for the woman Grand Funk Railroad immortalized in song as "Sweet Sweet Connie." In 1995, she was cited by police in a Little Rock park after her thong bikini failed to conceal her sufficiently. In 1998, her campaign for mayor of Little Rock self-destructed when she was arrested for public intoxication. To support her groupie habit, she's worked a string of dead-end jobs from part-time retail clerk to breeder of Persian cats. So it's understandable she grows agitated when I ask her for a Clinton assessment. "What's in it for me?" she asks. "Free publicity," I offer. "I can't eat publicity," she snarls. "I'm not talking unless you're talking money. Call me again, and I'll call Bruce Lindsey at the White House." I try to explain that Lindsey only intimidates people who've had sexual contact with Clinton, which, as of this writing, excludes me. But she abruptly hangs up.

Like Pamela Des Barres in a pair of oil-stained Wranglers carrying a box of Moon Pies.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:37 pm

FT Wrote:

chase Wrote:

is there anything TO grand funk railroad?

Absofuckinglutely.

Reprinted without the express written consent of Steve C, Whiney, and Major League Baseball...

http://www.advantexcom.net/~bob66/images/geeklove.jpg

[img][376:500]http://www.advantexcom.net/~bob66/images/geeklove.jpg[/img]

i actually read that story a couple of months ago and enjoyed it; nice work FT; hope you didn't have to be the hatchet man for our earlier exploits; if so i imagine we may have a meeting in the "principal's office" coming when we get to Austin

no guru · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:40 pm

Mike Jones Wrote:

i actually read that story a couple of months ago and enjoyed it; nice work FT; hope you didn't have to be the hatchet man for our earlier exploits; if so i imagine we may have a meeting in the "principal's office" coming when we get to Austin

MIKE JONES!

We all fans, dawg.

obner rprznt.

Jim Clark · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:19 pm

Is this a variation on the thread that caused all the uproar? Nay, couldn't be? This is old news. I don't know how many years ago it was but 60 minutes did a segment on this gal where she identified Huey Lewis as "larger than life" and proceeded to add that Steven Tyler was "no Tommy Lee". I thought it was hilarious. Seeing it made me happier that I posses no musical skills what so ever. Until then I was under the impression that all the girls these guys were getting were hot. I was clearly mistaken.

Since I missed the first thread, if this is simply a repeat of what someone else already pointed out,I apologize.

jc

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

i feel dirty just having browsed this thread.

Dalen · **Posted:** Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:47 pm

dammit. to late to join in with anything witty

The new Sweet Sweet Connie thread

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