http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050120

Guy gets hit by a taxi, goes into a coma, misses Red Sox winning the Series. What a pisser.

Don't scare me like that. I thought this was going to be something like Big Papi ate Curt Schilling's bloody sock by accident and went comatose and Trot Nixon threw out his back trying to give him the heimlich manuver. Curt was so upset about this news that he defected to the Washington Nationals to be near his buddy GW. Meanwhile, Damian Jackson was upset he got traded and wasn't here for the celebration so he came back and was so excited to see Johnny Damon that they knocked heads again and Damon lost his memory and forgot how to play baseball and decided on a new career path. Kevin Millar got sent to an AA treatment facility for the remainder of the year and Manny is still wandering around in left field somewhere.

You fucking rock at Mad Libs.

heh heh

I wish I could have gone into a coma whist bush was being elected

Goodbye Lenin

What? Now all his friends have to pretend the Red Sox didn't win it this year, either.

Sucks for them.

Which makes up for it sucking* so much for me.

* Not a Yankee or Red Sox fan. I just don't care (about them winning the Series, ever). I do though care about all the fockers going nuts over it, as though it makes up for (as Pagoda has already mentioned) Bush winning.

i am the walrus

Donnie was a good man, and a good bowler. And like so many men his age, he went before his time. You took 'im, Lord, just like so many who died at Lan Doc, Kai San, and Bridge 259....