*a friday questionnaire*

kath · **Joined:** Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:56 am **Posts:** 140

i do these things on another board, so i thought i'd try one here. why? because i'm bored and waiting for the sigg other (reap) to come home and get me lit. not that anyone can stop me.

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

This is like opa's silly surveys.

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name? Myanus

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants. Salma Hayek's breasts

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be? RIP RIP

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please? His semen tasted like asparagus.

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem? the syph

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose? I Hate Music

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life. No

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time? I dont have one

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be? I'm white and over 6' tall.

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name? Cumdumpster

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions? anything

Dalen · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:13 pm

yeah, uh, this isn't MySpace.

and LOL @ rparis for doing it.

FT · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:14 pm

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

Myanus

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

Scarlett Johannsen and Salma Hayek

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?

"Somewhere, someone's missing a piano case."

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?

"I am an American aquarium drinker; I assasin down the avenue" (from The Unauthorized Novelization of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot)

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?

He obviously should have married Mackenzie Phillips, instead.

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?

"Funky Cold Medina"

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.

Of all the people to ask this, there's no WAY I can narrow it down to one. Just read any of my posts and copy-paste.

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?

Chocolate and Cheese by Ween is certainly a treat for my eyes, but it's hard to beat Who's Next.

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?

A Chipotle in every pot.

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?

Sleazy

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?

Tagging in (see question #2). Just kidding. I'm the harmless variety perv.

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

jinx ft...jinx

FT · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:15 pm

rparis74 Wrote:

This is like opa's silly surveys.

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name? Myanus

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants. Salma Hayek's breasts

I swear I don't have a webcam in your office.

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

Dalen Wrote:

yeah, uh, this isn't MySpace.

and LOL @ rparis for doing it.

oh and i totally agree. i'm a jackass for even doing this. that's how bored I am.

FT · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:17 pm

rparis74 Wrote:

Dalen Wrote:

yeah, uh, this isn't MySpace.

and LOL @ rparis for doing it.

oh and i totally agree. i'm a jackass for even doing this. that's how bored I am.

Same here. I NEVER do these on MySpace.

Postmersh · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:20 pm

FT Wrote:

rparis74 Wrote:

Dalen Wrote:

yeah, uh, this isn't MySpace.

and LOL @ rparis for doing it.

oh and i totally agree. i'm a jackass for even doing this. that's how bored I am.

Same here. I NEVER do these on MySpace.

Methinks FT doth protest too much....

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:24 pm

kath Wrote:

i do these things on another board, so i thought i'd try one here. why? because i'm bored and waiting for the sigg other (reap) to come home and get me lit. not that anyone can stop me.

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

GAR WORLD

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

LC from teh Hills and Gail from Top Chef/Food and Wine

OR

Campbell Brown and Robin Meade

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?

Here lies Senator LooGAR 1977-2008. HE LIKED BACON

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?

YO DADDY STILL GOT A ROTARY PHONE, FUCKN*GGA

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?

Latent Homosexuality is eating him from the inside out ala Smeegle

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?

Tie My Pecker to My Leg, Mojo Nixon
and
Mama Was a Slumpbuster by Johnny Taint and the Cans of Piss

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.

They're all racial, sorry

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?

Ween, Chocolate and Cheese?

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?

PAVE IT!

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?

Dogpuncher

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?

Making cornbread

kath · **Joined:** Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:56 am **Posts:** 140

i don't even know what anyone does on myspace.

however, since i do get the point of the comparison, i must be jackassier for posting it in the first place.

it makes me feel... proud, somehow.

siiigh.

kath
who knows where to go to get her q-fix fulfilled.

PopTodd · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:32 pm

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?
Whatever

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.
Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johanssen

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?
Fuck you! I'm right!

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?
Daddy made some yummy chicken.

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?
Who cares?

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?
"Marquee Moon"

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.
Ever hear the one about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well...

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?
London Calling

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?
Fuck you, I'm right!

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?
Radcliffe

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?
GET TO WORK!!!

Promethium · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:43 pm

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

Poop

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

I'll go with complete nastiness and say Michael Moorer vs Rosie O'Donnell

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?

I wasn't completely worthless

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?

I've got nothing for this one

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?

He has always wanted to be David Lee Roth

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?

Not sure if it qualifies as actual poetry, but Paranoid Android by Radiohead

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.

Too many to recall

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?

In the Aeorplane over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel, but alot of it has to do with how much I enjoy the album.

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?

Several:
1. I can't be the worst
2. It can't get any worse, can it
3. No chance (For re-election in 4 yrs)

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?

Surly or Drunky

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?

kath · **Joined:** Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:56 am **Posts:** 140

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

frank.

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

viggo mortensen and joe perry.

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?

it wasn't the nicotine, the hooch, or the heroin: it was that fucquin cheerio she picked up off the ground.

actually, i'd be quite content with beloved.

or belusted.

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?

as she awoke, she could feel him moving on her, his wet tongue on her warm skin, his rigid member bulging against her thigh, pulsing and throbbing bulbously as he panted with frantic excitement, until she had to scream, "down, rover, no!! bad fucquin dog!!!"

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?

a nutria-sized ego lodged up his ass.

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?

a day in the life, the beatles. i could list a zillion others, but that's always the first one to come to mind.

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.

how did cinderella die?
her tampon turned into a pumpkin.

my dad told me that one when i was a kid. he wasn't well, really.

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?

sticky fingers. i had more fun with that zipper when i was lil.

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?

it must be jelly, cuz jam don't shake like dat.

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?

pervy.

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?

aside from dreaming up silly answers? getting lit with reap and playing strip stratego.

wenchlette · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:56 pm

rparis74 Wrote:

This is like opa's silly surveys.

rparis stole my reply.

Sex, Drugs, and Dave · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:57 pm

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

-planet, shmanet.

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

-James Taylor & Jimmy Buffet...in a fight to the death.

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?

-at least girls said he gave good head

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?

"So i woke up one morning wanting to lynch some darkies"

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?

his "brown sound" making him go poopy all the time.

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?

-The Ramones-Now I wanna sniff some glue

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.

Two nuns walk into a bar...ouch!

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?

a total cliche...but London Calling

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?

-quit yer bellyachin' faggot, vote for dave.

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?

bigoty[/b]

Dalen · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:57 pm

kath, please stop with the fucquin. just give us the goods dammit.

toots · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:11 pm

kath Wrote:

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name? Cheeseburger in Paradise II

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.
Wee Man, La Paquena Hillary Clinton

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?
[/end]

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?
"...so where was I?"

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?
right now i'd say his face

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?
b.o.o.t.a.y. -spank rock

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.
clown goes up to an alien in a bar, says "wanna hear something funny?" alien goes "funny haha or funny weird?"

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?
jandek - the rocks crumble

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?
Change you can afford bus fare with

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?
obner

FT · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:19 pm

kath Wrote:

joe perry

biggest WTF? in Obner history, bar none

kath · **Joined:** Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:56 am **Posts:** 140

FT Wrote:

kath Wrote:

joe perry

biggest WTF? in Obner history, bar none

oh, i can elaborate, too...

i want joe perry, oiled down and wearing naught but a loincloth, dangling fried oysters over my head like a roman slave.

kath
who seems to be doing really well at WTFing around here. hmmm.

FT · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:31 pm

kath Wrote:

FT Wrote:

kath Wrote:

joe perry

biggest WTF? in Obner history, bar none

oh, i can elaborate, too...

i want joe perry, oiled down and wearing naught but a loincloth, dangling fried oysters over my head like a roman slave.

kath
who seems to be doing really well at WTFing around here. hmmm.

You ARE talking about Aerosmith's guitarist, right? I mean, I'm certainly in no position to criticize another man's looks, given my own hideousness, but great googly-moogly!

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:53 pm

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name? Fucquin

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants. Ann Coulter and Bruce Villanch

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be? See You Later, Asshole

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please? In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem? don't care

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose? Bob Seger "Like A Rock"

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life. A black, a mexican, and a jew walk into a bar and the bartender says 'what is this, a joke?"

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time? I don't have a favorite color either

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be? Tastes Like Chicken

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name? Dubya

ayah · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:03 pm **Posts:** 6402

kath Wrote:

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?

pm'ing daystar.

TheTheory · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:30 pm

I didn't read any other answers yet, so apologies in advance if any of them are repeats.

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?
...If I had a significant other, it would be something dedicated to her. As I currently lack one of those, and the prospects of gaining one are grim, I'll settle for personal gain and name it after myself somehow.

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.
...This really doesn't sound that appealing. I'd probably lose respect for whomever was involved. So any two, random celebrities whom aren't sexually attractive at all.

3. what would you really, truly, honestly, like yer epitaph to be?
..."Here lies the greatest writer known to mankind, America's own Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, and Austin all rolled into one."

4. you have just won a contest for writing THE worst opening sentence to a book ever written. yer line, please?
...Dudes, read the above question. The greatest writer known to mankind wouldn't have a shot at winning this dubious distinction. But, for shits and giggles, here is what it would be: "In direous revolt, Jenna threw herself into her husband's arms causing the gun to fire wildly, bullets cascading every which direction and into any random thing, which, without a doubt, would have been me if she had not distracted her old lover who was hellbent on destroying my life in revenge for destroying his."

5. what IS eddie van halen's problem?
...Other than the drugs? The addictions? The sexual impotency? Well... he does have a lame-ass name...

6. you will be a guest lecturer for one day in a class on song lyrics as poetry. if you could discuss only one song, which would you choose?
...Something by mewithoutYou. Not sure what specific song. I'd have to actually read all the lyrics to decide and I'm not doing that to answer this question.

7. gimme the most groan-inducing, suckass joke you've ever heard in yer entire life.
Knock Knock. Who's there. Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there. Banana. Bananawho? (repeat about 7982347 times) Knock knock. Who's there. Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

8. when it comes right down to it, what IS yer favorite album cover of all time?
DUDE. No. This question is too intense for such a questionaire. It would take me hours to decide. This is the subject for good blog entries, or an article in a major magazine. Not an offhanded question in such a thread

9. you are running for president. what will yer slogan be?
Less racially driven than Obama, less estrogen-soaked than Clinton, and with a whole-lotta-kickass.

10. there was an eighth dwarf... one the other seven never talked about or let out in public. his/her name?
Soapy... The dwarf everyone wished would finally buckle down and wash.

bonus: what should kath be doing instead of sitting in front of her computer and dreaming up silly questions?
...Depends. If she is single and between the ages of, say, 20 and 26, she should be marrying me. If not... then why should I care?

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:38 pm

1. you have just discovered a new planet, in our very own solar system. you get to give it the name it will hold for the rest of time. the name?

George Clinton

2. naked celebrity crisco© wrestling. you pick the two combatants.

Alizee and Keira Knightley

...and that's as far as I got before I had to excuse myself.

*a friday questionnaire*

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a friday questionnaire