I have a gift certificate to Vineyard Vines. Could I really respect myself if I didn't buy this...

...in favor of something like this?

I guess I could get some new pocket squares, or maybe a bow tie?
Maybe a bit much.
I just don't know if I can rock a tie with some flip-flops printed on it.

Atrocious is the right word.

You gotta get the Bengals tie...even though I couldn't possibly think of an occasion to wear a Packer tie if I had one.

you should get this abomination.

I know, right? I would never spend my own money on a Bengals ties, but i already have a gift certificate. I can wear it every Friday? Every Monday after a (the) loss? Maybe they'll have some prime time games this year and I can wear it on those days? I'm conflicted. This is a stupid problem to have. My sister never should have bought me this gift card.

Purple is very hot right now, but I'm not a Rockies fan.

is anyone?

I could never pay good money or use a gift card on a brand new sports theme tie, but if I see an awesomely bad tie while thrift store shopping I'm always tempted to drop a dollar or two on it.
The last one I actually purchased was an Auto Zone Liberty Bowl tie. It is gawdy as hell and probably belonged to some old bastard who got it as swag.

this is seriously the worst collection of ties I've ever seen.

I assume that you're on the website?

yeah

then you are absolutely correct. I don't know when I could get away with wearing any of their nautical themed printed ties, nor do I want to know when such an event would occur.

I do have a tie with some penguins on it that toes the line pretty fucking close though.

dude...cheeseburgers with sunglasses.

Bengals tie isn't looking too shabby

I'm from the south and won't even think about wearing Vineyard Vines. You are in quite a conundrum.

you are feeling that Bengals tie though

Pull the trigger

FYI - kill yourselves.

I have two UGA ties that are quite similar, and just a word to the wise, this look has long been popular among the idle rich.

I guess maybe you'd rather a Jerry Garcia designed tie or an American Flag, but everyone of these screams "I am rich enough to dress like this"

Crack, if you don't want or need a tie, buy a shirt or 2.

yeah, here you go.

that guy looks like he's about to ask LooGar to hide a body at the bottom of a river.

The "idle rich"

Fortunately, I seldom have to put on a necktie, but when I do, it's something like this:



As noted below, very few men can pull off wearing a bow tie without looking like they pissed the bed the previous evening.

Whenever I wear a bow tie that isn't black, I look like i'm trying to sell you a bean pie and convert you to the nation of islam.

But there's something satisfying about tying a bow tie. Man points for knowing something arcane.

holy shit. That's the wallpaper of my nightmares.