Help me or just show your hate for me and come up with a funny dating agency profile. I might join the AOL UK online dating agency. Might.


Here is a few that i am considering so far.


Desperately lonely loser, male, 33, miserable, apathetic, tired of tv and watching my roomates hair fall out. Seeks depressed, unattractive female 25-32, no sense of humor, for long talks about the macabre.


Bitter, disillusioned male recently rejected by longtime fiancee seeks decent, reliable woman, If such a thing exists in this cruel world of hatchet faced witches.


OBSESSIVE, COMPULSIVE, NEUROTIC, ANTI-SOCIAL, MANIC and PARANOID, but BASICALLY NORMAL.

Hot, smart, funny and rich male would like to meet an honest woman.

id say

reasonably attractive man seeks woman with narrow hips and under 5'2" for hot times. Must be comfortable with prolonged periods of confinement. Must be into vampire play and coffins. My fantasy is for a woman to put her 9 on my 6 while I'm taking a 5.

Voluptuous and sassy 25 s/w/f seeks male, 25 - 34, with strong arms, glasses and a penchant to be tied up. Must be open minded and not afraid of hot wax or kissing after coming in the mouth. Animal lovers a plus.

I came before the horse.

i don't wear glasses, but let's do this.

Terminally ill cancer victim, 26 yo male with sizeable trust fund seeks female companion who is not put off by weeping bilsters and facial discoloration. Must be smoke free.

Fuck it, i have joined.

After a quick search, by looks/photo only, these have some potential.

Profiles-

Joanne

How on earth do you start something like this............ I am a single mother of 3 children, I love going out to pubs and clubs and enjoying life to the full, not forgetting hearty meals and log fires! I am looking for someone to share the good times with as I feel I have alot to offer. I am honest and open and have a great sense of humour(so my friends tell me). Dont delay, type away.

THREE KIDS, LOG FIRES!

Fiona

Hi! Now I'm getting old (28) I don't tend to go out as much as I used to, and I'm just not meeting many new people. I finally managed to give up smoking last November, and got in the habit of staying in so as not to be tempted and now I've got a bit too used to DVD's and fluffy slippers! I'm also drinking far too much tea and eating too much chocolate so I've decided I need to find myself a man before I get too fat and addicted to tea to leave the house.... I'm into music, reading, DVDs. I like getting together with friends and meeting people. I'll try anything once (usually). As for what I'm looking for, well I'd like to meet a man who's interesting. Someone who equally loves to have fun and be serious although (hopefully obviously) not at the same time....Send me an email, tell me a bit about yourself...Fiona X

FLUFFY SLIPPERS!

Tracey

Laughing a lot and having fun are top of my agenda, if you enjoy socialising and chatting over a glass or 2, get in touch. I've been told I'm loving, caring and have a relaxed approach to life. I have a passion for travelling and love exploring new places, sampling the local cuisine and the culture. I'm looking for that special someone to share both the good and the not so good times, who is down to earth and can cope with my razor sharp wit and occasional crude jokes!!

I think it's funny when people say they are in to DVD's. Does this mean they like movies or they just really enjoy the object?


And Stacey, the animal lovers bit made me laugh out loud. It was awesome.

Those named Tracey (female and male) have TEH DUBM & are skanky. AVOID.

I'd say, try Fiona.

ARE YOU DOWN WITH JAYSUS?

Gorgeous young well-hung male looking for female companionship, preferably on Sundays to go to church with. Serious only. No freaks.

I just need a bloody profile now.

Stacey, date me.

How do you discreetly say something along the line of "must be willing to take man juice in eye"

"Must enjoy water sports"

"Enjoy traditional methods of birth-control (to wit: early withdraw)"

I mean, you do that, but you still have to shoot it somewhere?

looking for a woman willing to try new things and explore life

Dalen, could you at least wear frames with non-prescription glass?

Joey, thanks.

Pete, do you fit the description? Also, maybe something along the lines of "those with eye sensitivity to fluid need not apply *wink wink*."

If I were Mexican, I'd answer this ad.

You're Greek. Can't you pass for Mexican?

You'd be more of a criollo, sure, but, yeah... What of it? You racist or something?

LONDON, Aug. 20 (UPI) -- The creator of TheUglyBugBall.co.uk said the British dating site is the world's first to cater exclusively to people who "weren't blessed with great looks."

Howard James of London said the dating site for the "aesthetically challenged" excludes "anyone who is overtly pretty or attractive," The Sun reported, The Sun reported Friday.

"It's a sad fact that up to half of the U.K. is made up of ugly people yet amazingly nobody has ever thought of providing a dating service for them," James said. "Some of these will be moderately ugly, but others will have fallen from the ugly tree and hit every branch on their way down."

James said nearly 1,500 people have joined the site since it went live Monday.

http://theuglybugball.co.uk/

how in the world did you search for this thread for that post

i'm gonna go with he searched "online dating"

cant be real

this is a great thread

Normally it's probably the thing I despise most about Obner and the Obnish (unnecessary bumping--just start a new thread!) but I think I missed this one the first time around so it was worth it.

yeah, "online dating"




it's a good thread worth revisiting though