Associated Press
Mar. 23 HOUSTON — Roger Clemens' orange Hummer — a present from the New York Yankees for his 300th win — was stolen and found Wednesday after the pitcher's son drove it to school and left it unlocked, police said. Police found the vehicle dumped in a Houston parking lot on Wednesday afternoon after officers received a tip, said Spring Branch Independent School District Police Chief Chuck Brawner. No arrests had been made Wednesday night. The Hummer, which Brawner said was in fine condition when it was found, was stolen from Memorial High School around 8:30 a.m. Brawner said Clemens, who was at spring training with the Houston Astros in Florida, had offered a $10,000 reward for the vehicle's safe return and information about who took it. The Hummer contained all of Koby Clemens' baseball equipment for the high school team. It wasn't immediately clear if the tipster would receive the reward. Roger Clemens couldn't be reached for comment by The Associated Press on Wednesday. He began letting Koby Clemens drive the orange Hummer to school after he signed a letter of intent last November to play baseball for the University of Texas, whose colors are burnt orange and white. Before that, Koby drove a black Hummer to school. Hummers can range from $50,000 to more than $100,000.

I would sleep even better if it were a flaming orange fireball on the New Jersey turnpike, with him inside.