i'm so fucking sick of the anxiety this is causing me. I just want to go take this thing in Maryland tomorrow and know i have this job in the bag, because if I don't i'm superfucked. So somebody tell me that not smoking pot for 30 days and excercising and taking goldenseal every day and drinking so much water i want to puke up an aquarium is waaay to much overpreparation. God, why couldn't i have been a cokehead with a 4 day detox period?

maybe you'll get lucky and it'll be a hairtest.

i hate you

You should be fine with all that.
I once passed a drug test when I was a regular smoker, had smoked 3 weeks prior and took some goldenseal for about 1 week before.

Relax.

You have nothing to worry about. Seriously, that is way overprepared. The physiology of the hwole thing is, they don't test for weed, they test for the chemical that breaks it down, which is why most people advise a 30 day period of abstinence, but in reality, two weeks is usually fine, unless you burn every day.

Not that I would know, or even need to know any of this stuff.

it's not pot, is it? you're worried about the steroids.

Cotton's been using a "special" cream when he gets "special" with himself...

And I've never had to take a drug test before, so I can't offer any advice. I know a couple people who haven't passed them, though...

i know someone at my old job that did pot & paid someone $ for a sample of the yella stuff for his test.

if you act this paranoid at the test, they are going to know something is up.

well, I am an avid smoker, but when we were all talking about it in the office, I was like "well, PCP only lasts in the blood a few days, right?" thinking it ws a funny joke, not having (intentionally) smoked PCP since high school, and then one of my bosses is like:

"Actually, I got a funny story about that...."
and went on to tell me this 30 minute tirade about getting all dusted up by accident a few years ago when he and a buddy bought a mystery joint on the street for $5. The entire office (yeah all 5 of us) just stood there, jaws open, as he finished up with narrowly avoiding arrest and all sorts of shit. Then he told me if I passed I could keep a bong on my desk. I'm all like "nah, I can wait until i'm done my work shit for the day and all..."

thanks guys for that boost of confidence over here.

30 days? 30 frockin days? Yes, you're good buddy.

well, you have to understand that my office, parents and most of all my crazy-ass girlfriend have been hounding my ass to make sure i'm okay on this thing. I mean, it must look like i do nothing but sit around in my parents' basement listening to Rush albums and watching MST3K, but I might smoke once a day after dinne. Nonetheless, when surrounded by the psychos that I've been for the last month, I figure it's better not to hear the i told you sos later on. much, much better in my case.

Dude you are so fine. Urine tests catch nothing. Two quick items to help you feel better.

1) Whilst in college I smoked 3 to 4 times everyday for six months. Used The Stuff and passed on 36 hours notice.

2) I have a good friend who is an officer in the military and he has had the same success 5 or 6 times (ie 36 hours). And this dumbe fucker could go to Leavenworth(sp?) if he gets caught.


YOU ARE MONEY!!!

I was going to be tested once, but when they found out about all the prescription stuff I take regularly I guess they figured the results would be all fucked up so they didn't bother.

There are advantages to being crazy.

using drugs sends money to Al Queda

I've never used this, but I have a friend that is a career smoker.
He tried this and it worked.

Nice name too.

Hey, hey, hey NOW! There's nothing wrong with Rush . . . or MST3K.

I wouldn't take a drug test and I don't even do drugs anymore. Fuck that! You either want me or you don't, you know?

The most similar parallell in my life would be about 10 years ago. I hadn't worked in three years since leaving college and the Social Security people bascially sent to an interview at a chicken abbattoir and basically said "Get the job cos we're stopping your money".

So I went down there and I had to take a medical and at the end of it the nurse (the most unbelievably rough looking middle aged woman you ever saw) said I had to get an anal probe! To test for some bacteria or something or other. I said I would just be carrying the chickens around not sticking them up my ass, but they didn't quite see my logic.

Anyway, I walked out because being anally conservative I'm afraid I regard it as a one-way street down there. They stopped my money for six weeks but they had to start it up again after that because IT'S THE LAW.

So in the end I emerged victorious with free money and an unviolated bum. You just don't get a happier ending than that.

I drove myself crazy over this shit too, but I didn't take goldenseal or anything, just lots of water and exercise and all was fine...I may have gotten lucky, cause Ive heard horror stories

If you're stuck in '89, there's not.

i took a drug test once. My boss had a few differnt kinds of exstacy and we tried too kinds to see which was better.

i made a vow to myself a long time ago never to order anything out of the back of High Times magazine. Or to read High Times magazine, for that matter. That shit just scares me. Besides, if I was gonna cheat it, I'd just go all Sizemore.



oddly enough, I once did this with a boss, too. What the hell you doing with my job, Jewelz?

I smoked 2 nights before a piss drug test once, took this shit from GNC and passed.

Yeah, just hope it's not a hair test.

nah, i already know it's a piss test. lashing out at chase is just a normal response

I have a friend who, though knowing she had to meet with her probabtion officer on a Wednesday, smoked a lot on Sunday, then again on Tuesday. I guess she thought she'd be fine since she hadn't been tested yet. (they don't test every time) Of course that was the one time they did test. She was definitely doing some serious freaking out. Her solution- wait until the officer left the bathroom to go check on the guys, scramble from the stall to the sink, dump half her pee down the drain, and dilute it with water. She passed.