some beeatch somehow guessed my secret question to my hotmail account, and she got in and sent lots of emails under my account. It really is hotmail's fault for having only two or so options for the secret question, but that bitch is gon' get it. What is the best way to get internet-based revenge on someone like that......is there some service that sends people viruses or something.....seriously?????

(p.s. the best revenge isn't living well)

Forget that shit. If you're going to get worked up at all, let it be about the stuff that really matters.

Steve

Call her job and get her fired.

she's a psychotic lunatic who tells everyone that we're dating and that we've known each other for a long time. She talks to my friends and says that we've been together quite a while, but i've never even met her. She's like a Blanche Dubois, except instead of sexually assaulting her, a la Stanley, i want to kick her ass over the internet.

My drama teacher would be proud of that Streetcar analogy (we're studying the play right now)

Wow, you have a real-live stalker? Does she lurk here too?

i don't know. But this is like the fourth stalker i've had in the last year. Why can't i attract NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE?!

Hey now, attracting 4 stalkers in one year is pretty damn impressive. I don't know what you're throwing out there, but it's doing something. I know people who would trade with you in a second.

i'm not joking. The last one tried to kill herself when she found out i was with someone else, and the one before that's room-mate told me she has a collection of my things that she's accumulated in the corner of her fucking room. She has a dresser with a picture of me on it and all this shit of mine that i've thrown away or given to people. And what's more, i never talk to any of these freaks, so the 'connection' couldn't be due to contact...

school is such a stupid place.

Wow, a real live one. Is she armed? What did the emails say (other than how so in love with her you were, obviously)? While I feel your pain, my morbid curiosity is really winning out right now.

A Mighty Hottie Leader

The most recent one? What she did is forged 'forwarded' emails to make it look like i sent her an e-mail detailing my love and pining for her, which she distributed to her friends and other people to make it look legit. Then she had web-cam cyber-sex with some dude who lives in the city that i do to look up my number in the phonebook, and then she kept ringing me, only to hang up after saying hi. And these are long-distance calls don't forget. It is really bizarre. Then, somehow she got my cell phone number, and sends upwards of 8 texts each day about how we should be together, and about how she knows that i 'want her too'. She keeps using the phrase "i know you're hot for me".

I'm not even going to BOTHER going in depth about the other stalkers, because the stories are so long and even worse than that one, and for me to relive it, it's really not funny. My friends, however, seem to think it's the funniest thing ever.

See, around the repeated phone calls and hangups is when I say: Please fuck off. I have zero interest in ever seeing you again, talking to you again, or thinking about you again. If you contact me in the future, I will call the police.

But I'm a jerk.

Ok, seriously, we need a Bobbo picture of you, if only to see what in the hell the fuss is all about. No man has that much charisma.

no, it's not charisma. I just attract freaks. It's not like there's a hundred normal people ringing me every day, it's just the freaks.

..... ooooonly makes us want a picture more.

Sure, but if four freaks give in to the urge to call you and build up elaborate fantasy lives around you, how many sane folks are out there resisting?

i've said all of that, except i just don't call the police.

... because you're still shagging her. Come on, tell us the real story without embellishing.

one of them is a four foot tall border-line midget boarder from Hong Kong. To shag her would probably be a physical impossibility. She goes home to her parents and friends and tells them all about her "boyfriend" back in Australia, and shows them photos of me and stuff. The other day one of my female non-stalker friends asked her what she was writing about in cantonese in her diary, and she said, "sexual fantasy about Michael." Let's just say there were accompanying pictures.

I try not to think about it.

Something doesn't make sense here, and if it doesn't make sense, it's not true.

All the cool kids have a picture posted on 'revealed', you know. Show us your freak-magnet face! Is that you with the eye infection or whatever in your profile?

dude, why would i lie. It's not like i'm saying i have lots of sexy stalker exchange students from Sweden or some shit.

hahah that's Houston from when he gouged his eye out. I'll see what i can do as we just literally got a digital camera yesterday but i haven't set up the software yet.

I must admit, the whole midget stalker thing is funny.

You're just telling these stories to try and drive a wedge between us. I know your love for me is strong and true, schnookums.