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Mick
 Post subject: best way to get out of work/school?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:52 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:39 am
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Location: Australia
what are some good ways for a non-confrontational socially-retarded idiot like myself to get out of school?




and yes, i have seen Ferris Bueller's day off.

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dances on all fours...

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:53 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:50 pm
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Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
Claim diarrhea.

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Mick
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:55 pm 
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it's funny how something as simple as poo is the last thing i'd think of...

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dances on all fours...

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shaMoxie
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:05 pm 
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Fluke Breakthrough Single
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Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:47 pm
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Location: camberwell
Yeah, tell 'em your doing the Tijuana cha-cha like E-Fu said, or simply inform them you're on the blob.
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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:09 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
NOBODY wants any details about diarrhea. Start muttering something about "need to throw the sheets in the washer" and you're all set.

Plus, unlike colds/flus/most illnesses, there are no obvious symptoms or need to see a physician or pharmacist.

I always use this one when I wake up and don't feel like going to work.

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Black Magic Putin
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:10 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Location: getting some kicks at the mall
i use the euphemism "gastrointestinal disorder".
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no guru
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:23 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Location: cogthrobber
chase Wrote:
i use the euphemism "gastrointestinal disorder".


"fighting Al-Qaeda in the trenches"

"spackling a leaky poopdrop"

"rainy season in the outback"
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shiv
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:36 pm 
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Rape Gaze
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Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 7:03 pm
Posts: 27347
Location: bitch i'm on the internet
hack off a limb.

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Damen
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 5:21 pm 
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Major Label Sell Out
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Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:31 am
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Location: LA -> SF
ask your teacher, "Why does it hurt when I pee?"

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Cotton
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:10 pm 
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Alcoholic National Treasure

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm
Posts: 17155
ipecac

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Are you kidding? I have no talents. Nothing. I was very well educated to be an idiot. And I was a very good student.

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Dusty Chalk
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:14 pm 
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Eat raw chicken.

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I remain,
:-Peter, aka :-Dusty :-(halk

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jsh
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:50 am 
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Location: red wing
Fake a wedding invitation. I did this to get out of exams to drive 16 hours to California to see Phish's last two pre-hiatus shows. Priorities.
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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:59 am 
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frostingspoon
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Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
Dusty Chalk Wrote:
Eat raw chicken.


Wash it down with old milk, or if the milk is old enough, just eat it for dessert.

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Cap'n Squirrgle
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:03 am 
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frostingspoon
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Location: On the gas and tappin' ass
Tell them you have a tick in your taint. This happened to me 3 years ago, and it freaked me the fuck out. Went mtn biking, got poison ivy, thought this was just poison ivy too... then 2 weeks later, woke up at 5am because a tick the size of candy corn crawled out of my taint.

Oh yeah. I called in.

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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albion
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:06 am 
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Bedroom Demos
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Location: Georgia
Cap'n you've given me yet another reason to avoid excercise.

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"I'm not going to say anything one way or another, other than to say there is a plea agreement,"

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Cap'n Squirrgle
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:09 am 
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frostingspoon
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Location: On the gas and tappin' ass
It was at Line Creek - the illegal side. Got home, looked at my legs, and saw probably 40 tiny little deer ticks, all headed north. Thought I got 'em all...

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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andyfest
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:16 am 
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Still Big in Japan
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Location: Indie-anapolis
Elvis Fu Wrote:
Claim diarrhea.


Definitely the way to go. If you tell someone you have "explosive diarrhea" they'll never want further details. They just let you go. I've never used the excuse myself but a friend of mine used it often in college.
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Red Hood Suite
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:38 am 
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Garage Band

Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 10:47 pm
Posts: 610
<--------------Called off work yesterday to not come in today.

I said that my cockhead was bleeding.


:oops:
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Cotton
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:41 am 
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Alcoholic National Treasure

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm
Posts: 17155
also, pinkeye. nobody wants that shit around the office.

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Are you kidding? I have no talents. Nothing. I was very well educated to be an idiot. And I was a very good student.

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