So the latest mix.... I got some 'splainin to do, so bear with me, y'all....
As some of you may or may not know, I got a divorce this year. It's been a pretty painful time in my life, and at times, embarrassing (especially in my behavior on obner, chatzy, etc.). I got word it was final on August 10. It was a fairly quick process, but considering I'd been married for almost 12 years and actually with my ex-husband for almost 17, well.... you do the math. It was a long journey. And even though I know I made the right decision, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all. But believe it or not, I feel stronger than ever.
So anyhow, the last few mixes I've posted have been pretty somber in tone, and not really typical of me in more lighthearted days. I know they're coming, but it may take a while. You know, I'm posting this one and it may sink to the depths of obner oblivion like so many threads here do these days. I'm not bitching, I'm just stating the obvious. And for the love of God, don't feel obligated to post a "mercy" remark in this thread. I don't need charity. But if you've got something to say about the mix, please feel free. I welcome any and all comments.
So just a bit of an explanation on why I chose the songs I did. As I mentioned before, the last few mixes have been heavy, and there were reasons for those song choices too. If you were privy to what was going on in my life at each given time, perhaps you'd better understand where I was coming from.
1. viva voce - from the devil himself - I just saw these guys for the first time at Bumbershoot a couple weekends ago. I'd always been intrigued, but never made the effort to see them locally, even though they're a Portland band. This song in particular is not about my situation per se (methinks it's about evil record companies???), but sometimes I feel anemic in terms of emotion, stability and comfort these days.
2. let's active - in little ways - this is the first track on their album "Big Plans for Everybody" which came out around the time I was 16 or so. I'd actually had a song off this album on my 1985 mix tape redux (see
old-ass thread on that one), and only within the last year did I pick this album up again. Just reminded me of some of my more carefree moments as a youngster. And who knows, maybe one day I will look back and wonder how "lines got crossed."
3. todd rundgren - couldn't I just tell you? - I'd gotten an iTunes gift card back in May, and really wanted to use it to download things that I'd always been interested in, but wasn't motivated enough to actually buy on my own. My sister Beth and I are both very keen on music (clearly), and I remembered she had "Runt" and "Something/Anything?" on vinyl. I'd asked her opinion on which album I should download, and she'd mentioned both. "Something/Anything?" just resonated with me a bit more, maybe for the more recognizable tunes that were on it. This song just reminded me of myself, trying to express myself to various people in my life, sometimes feeling foolish, sometimes feeling vindicated.
4. concrete blonde - caroline - this is probably one of the most beautifully crafted Concrete Blonde songs ever. Damn near perfection. I love the controlled huskiness of Johnette's voice along with James' amazing guitar solo. Well, it's about saying goodbye, you know? No further explanation needed.
5. my brightest diamond - golden star - I had the pleasure of seeing Shara Worden and her band at Bumbershoot as well. I wasn't previously familiar with her work, so to hear a few songs in her set and have it affect me greatly said something to me. I think even the opening line "I always felt so far from you, like something wasn't right" was very indicative of how I was feeling in my marriage. It's not worth getting into a dissertation here, but it's amazing how you can be close to someone and yet feel like you don't know them at all (or even stranger, feeling like you don't know yourself when you're with this person).
6. dave gahan - kingdom - well, this was a new one that south pacific posted (I think!). I downloaded it and instantly fell in love with it. Dave's voice seems to be getting better and better year after year. It's not so much religious in tone, but very mistrusting of love and relationships, which I've had my fair share of these last few years.
7. david bowie - fashion - yes, it's familiar; yes, it's overplayed; yes, it's later Bowie. But it's about FASHION! Come on y'all... you know me by now. Throw me a bone here, will ya?
8. duran duran - nite runner - again... this is ME. Plus as lame as it sounds, I do find myself prowling around at night these days, seeing what's out there and reconnecting with that nocturnal side of myself. Repetitious? Check. Sexy? Check. My boys? Check check check, baby! Sorry, but I can't help but groove to ths one, and if it makes me smile, then it's all for the better.
9. gang of four - it's her factory - well, that it is these days.
10. idlewild - if it takes you home - I'd recently listened to this album again and got reminded how much I liked this song. Plus the lyrics are appropriate as well: "But the truth is truth, no matter how you act, If it takes you, it takes you takes you home."
11. my brightest diamond - dragonfly - yes, I'm double posting here. Again, saw this one performed live and yes, I want to fly away.
12. oakley hall - i'll follow you - This song is just beautiful in my opinion.... lazy, dreamy and romantic. Kinda like me. Oh, except for the lazy part.
13. the watson twins - southern manners - Another group I saw while at Bumbershoot and was duly impressed with. Me being from Jawja 'n' all, well, that's where the southern manners come into play. The song is really and truly what I feel sometimes though.
14. andrew bird - why? - older song, but he performed this the two times I saw him at Bumbershoot, and I was blown away each time. Unfortunately this studio version can't hold a candle to his live performance, but again with the sentiment. "Why? Why'd you have to do that?"
15. john taylor - silent skin - another older tune from an artist most people here would hate (yes, same one as in Duran Duran). I just love the lyric "The dress that you debut in, hides more than mystery play, it yields more treasure every day, it stalks its lovers to the grave, in lines and fragrant passing, my thoughts are everlasting."
16. tom waits - i'm still here - funny thing... I remember when I first got this album, my ex thought this song was about us. I don't really know what he was trying to say when he told me that, but I remember him feeling very fondly about the song. It's actually a very sad song. To me, it's a reminder that despite all of this, I'm still very much here.
17. sufjan stevens - to be alone with you - This song is supposedly about Jebus, right? Well, as cliched as it sounds, I have rekindled my faith a bit these past few months, if only to maintain some sort of sanity, but also to give up some of the weight I carry. I don't have to carry this all by myself anymore. I just think this is a gorgeous song.
18. the frames - what happens when the heart just stops? - I was listening to this song a few weeks ago, while I was lying in bed reading. I had to put my book down and really pay attention to the lyrics. I was literally in tears by the end of the song. I know how it feels to have my heart broken, I know how it feels to know that I've broken someone else's heart. "But the body goes on living." Yes, it does.
[img][600:600]http://www.otak.com/images/dana/sep07cover.jpg[/img]
Code:
http://www.mediafire.com/?4mjzetyjyg9
eter, aka 
usty 
halk
