In Richmond, this weekend, we're holding the annual Tomato Festival. I'm entering the tomato contest which is judged for the most creativity in creating a costume that resembles a tomato. The prizes are 500, 200, and 100 dollars. I deem it worthy of a few hours in and embarrassing costume in the unbearable heat. However, you don't JUST have to make a costume that looks better than everyone elses, you have to put on some stupid talent act. I'm not talented in anything except the visual arts. I doubt anyone wants to sit and watch me paint on a canvas for 5 minutes. So, I was thinking I could read poetry? but it has to do with tomatos. Goddamnit, I need help finding a tomato poem or song that I could recite in front of this crowd this Saturday. It's going to suck but if I win the money I will be happy.
Any ideas?
Thanks in advance... and also, do you all think it's even worth it? I mean, i've been before and a lot of the peoples costumes suck and I am an artist so I guess I do have that advantage over everyone else.. but I don't know. If I don't win the money i'll just look like a dumb gigantic tomato. Ah, whatever. If anyone could help, thanks.

Me thinks you should have a bunch of tomatos roll them in paint and then throw them at the canvas. and then roll in paint yourself and roll all over the canvas. Instant Masterpiece. Very entertaining. You would need the help of a great song to blast while you do this.

why don't you make a tomato costume out of actual tomatoes. just imagine the effects of the tomatoes getting squashed, like a stripper popping their balloons. what excitement! you can be the gallagher of tomatoes or you can just hurl them at people. you can always use sun dried tomatoes and sew/string them together to make an outfit.

OR for added effect, get some decoys in the audience and throw the tomatoes at them and put on some dramatic scene of someone dying from tomato bullets.

or just juggle them.

i love tomatoes.

You could roll around on top of french fries allowing your 'tomatoes' to squeeze ketchup all over the place. Then, invite the audience for some eats!

Do a dramatic reading from the script of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...one of the great cinematic triumphs of our time.

I'd have no problem looking like a fool for $500. Hell, I generally end up doing it for nothing.

haha me too. great idea. oh and i really liked the throwing tomatoes at a canvas idea too. thanks to all of you who contributed ideas. i think i could combine all of them somehow. throw myself doused in paint at a canvas while reciting lines from attack of the killer tomatoes while throwing tomatoes into the audience.
how about that?