A quick synopsis of my weekend in the Big Easy just for kicks.

First of all, this place is one of the greatest cities in the world. Being able to walk in a 50 square block area with a drink at all times AND see titties = QUAL!

Thursday: Drove to Mobile that night. Had beers with Loogar, who was openly drunk when I showed up, and crashed at his place. Thanks again gar.

Friday: Drink in hand by 11:30am. Late lunch at Acme Oyster house. Proceed to go to "Cat's Meow" Karoake bar for 3 for 1 happy hour for bottles of beer. Drunkenly performed, to an already packed house, David Allan Coe's "You Never Even Called Me by my Name" and brought down the house. 3 hour game of Asshole with 10 animals, gravity bong rips. Back to Bourbon St. NO DINNER. Go to "Big Daddy's Bottomless/Topless". Possibly the skankiest strip club I have EVER been too. Buy the groom a dance from the most disgusting one there. Roam Bourbon St. til 4am. Pass out in clothes.

Saturday: Wake up in hell. Go to Cafe Du Monde for some coffee and French Beignets. Terrible idea. Go to nearest Greasefest and drink Bloody Mary's and eat fried shrimp. Go to Harrah's casino to play Texas Hold Em, go all in on a pocket pair of Jacks only to lose to a guy with pocket Kings. Crash at place for 3 hours. Go to Dickie Brennans steakhouse and spend $900 between 10 people. Worth every penny. Go drink Bourbons on a deck bar. Head to the Gold Club at midnight where the concepts of money and time lose all meaning. Stay there until 4am. You fill in the blanks.

Sunday: Wake up and take gravity bong rips. Crack a beer at 11am. Watch the start of the PGA championship. Proceed to get half in the bag. Friend has to drive my car to Atlanta. Get home around 10pm and begin the dying.


I've been in pain for most of the week. Back to normal today but jesus. God Bless America.

Condo: $200

Great Steak Dinner: $90

VIP Room @ Gold Club: $140

Seeing the Groom get Swamp-assed by two disgusting women at a place called Big Daddy's Bottomless/Topless: PRICELESS


Cannot recommend New Orleans more for a bachelor party. It seethes with debauchery.

Lovely, just lovely.

Sounds like you had an awesome time.

I feel like I need to take a shower and swear off alcohol after reading that.

My roomate in college spent $1400.00 dollars in one night at big daddies once.

Glad it all worked, and it didn't dissappoint. Story makes me miss the nights we'd leave Baton Rouge at 2:00 in the AM when the bars closed and go to New Orleans to continue the partying.

Dr. Bloor approves.

Mainly because my amazing powers of observation allow me to easily fill in several blanks.

Well played, sir.

The power of words to influence the will cannot be underestimated. I'm having a beer.

Good job, gar. Sounds like you have upheld the Gar/Derris tradition of New Orleans rampaging.

Sounds like a good time. My liver hurts just thinking about it.


"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. "

Sounds like good times.

right ooon brutha

i feel hungover. i was in new orleans once for a business meeting and didn't get all that crazy - but being able to walk around with drinks is awesome. the heat was nearly unbearable for me however and the place us ultra stanky and dirty. good times though. i did meet my wife there as well (at the biz meeting - not via a titty showing)

One night in NOLA...

I got sucker punched by a stripper who was in the middle of her routine on stage at Big Daddy's one night. Later that night I threw up a good 12-14 hours worth of beer, hurricanes and hand grenades on a 5 foot pile of trash outside Cats Meow.

You should have taken the groom to that Boys Will Be Girls joint. The front part is real women, the back part is real dudes and the side part that is shemales/trannys. Thing is, all three bars share one set of bathrooms, which is in some sort of in-one-door-out-another-and-around the corner set up, so it's easy as fuck to walk out the bathroom and into the wrong fucking bar, stumbling looking for your friends until you notice the "gal" on stage is six-foot-five with a distinctive jawline.

Before getting punched at Big Daddy's and booting at Cats Meow, we were in that Boys Will Be Girls joint. As I was getting rubbed out by some enterprising young lass, my friend stepped into the wrong bar and got a smooch on the cheek from a shemale. The best part is the lipstick would not come off his damn face. He'd probably still be pissed if I brought it up.