In an effort to find out just what the hell is wrong with me (in terms of getting a good night of sleep), I did a second sleep study last night. I've been here for over 12 hours, and I'll be here for another 5. Please, entertain me.

What? Listening to a Spade Kitty release isn't enough for you?

I've never listened to a Spade Kitty release, but that's not because I'm avoiding them. I just haven't heard any.

Um, shouldnt you be sleeping?

I thought about doing this last summer, but eventually backed out. My sleep patterns suck ass.

Obner should have you snoozing in no time.

I've finished 2 of my scheduled naps, with 3 more to go. Right now I'm rocking out to Robert Palmer on the local "lite rock" station.

are there any hot, um, sleep nurses?

If by "hot" you mean "looks like Bruce Jenner with boobs."

i meant bruce banner

Do they let you rub one out before taking a nap? I find that always helps for me.

That didn't explicitly state that I couldn't, but there would be audio and video footage of it. A minimum of 2 nurses and 1 doctor would see it. In other words, consider it done.

i have been thinking of going to one of these clinics. did you need a recommendation from your doctor to do this? and does insurance cover it?

Do you get paid?

I didn't need a recommendation, but it depends on what you have - HMO? PPO? Other?

My insurance covers a good chunk of this, but not everything.

Nope, this is a test I "need" as opposed to something I volunteered for.

Have you got leads all over your scalp or do you have an EEG cap on?

chuck norris does not sleep.he waits.

leads + crap on my legs

That's annoying, eh? I've done a lot of EEG and I always felt sorry when I was setting up my volunteers.

It could be worse - I could be at work, listening to my co-worker playing Godsmack and ordering weed over the phone from his "business associate."

I've always wanted to go to a sleep clinic. I've been a chronic toss n' turn sleeper my entire life. I also rarely (I'm talking 2 a year) my dreams.

actually, remembering dreams (which i believe is what you meant) is pretty common in restless sleepers because it means you're waking up for split-seconds throughout the night. due to how deep in sleep dreaming usually occurs, the mind often has trouble piecing enough of them together by the time it goes through the process of getting out of rem stages and waking up. if you remember a lot of dreams, you're not really getting into the deepest stages of sleep for long enough. or you may just not remember them for another reason.

My problem was never sleeping but staying awake. I always thought it just happened to be that I found classes and meetings incredibly boring. I mean really, who doesn't fall asleep in class.

I scored well enough on the daytime nap test to earn a narcolepsy diagnosis.

hey i just revised over my circadian rhythm lectures, so im interested in what they end up diagnosing you with (if anything)

maybe youre a ...mutant