Which Obnerinian has been married the longest? It's got to be between me and P'Shaw, I think. I'm on year 14. The wedding date was 6/13/92.

You got me beat, Bob I'm 9/19/92

We were going to just get a JOP and skip off to the ocean without telling our families, but then one of my sister-in-laws offered her church for free and paid for the reception.

Lisa and I were irritated at the thought of going deeply into debt just so deeply dysfunctional relatives could show up, disapprove of our union, then complain about the food and music choices.

But it turned out okay and made our moms happy. Took her mom almost six months to even speak to me because she was sure I was bad news. But she learned I'm just a Blonde Panda.

Lisa and I would have preferred elopment, though.

This sounds more like a destination wedding. I thought eloping entailed just running off without plans or invitiations? That's what I'd do if I could do it again.

We got married in the (very large) backyard of my in-law's summer home up in Traverse City, MI.

75 people.
Pretty much everyone came (maybe 5 or so invitees stayed home for various reasons).
And everybody still pretty much considers it the blow-out bash wedding of the last 15 years. Even the bartenders partied with us. People fell in the lake. That was fun.

F you. My grandmother died that day.

When do you do it, Jason?

The best time for a destination wedding is a holiday weekend... it gives guests an extra day to chill and not worry about getting back to work. Plus, it's a destination for the holiday.

Think Labor Day or Memorial Day. Maybe July 4 weekend?
Something that EVERYONE usually gets off is good.

I wanted a destination wedding. Clear out all the people I didn't really want to invite but felt obliged to. My opinion didn't really matter.

I'm a big fan of these. You're gonna cause a lot of people to buy a flight and lose a weekend anyway... make it somewhere they actually WANT to visit, so they get 1/2 wedding, 1/2 mini-vacation out of it.

Shit, dude. I can't even remember the day my DAD died. I know it was April 2001, and like the twentysomethingth, but I couldn't give you the exact date.

...since Busty's obviously not paying attention...

Wait, so when did cotton puss out and change the thread title?

Just go down to city hall and get hitched.

You'll feel better.

Again, remember friends and family that will guilt you forever about not being there. My mom would be pissed, but then again, I am an only child--one wedding only kinda family. Talk to family first, especially her family, if they are cool with it--do it. If they will be pissed forever let them know when and give them the option of attending.

I had a male cousin elope in Vegas and it was no big deal. I told my mom we almost did and she freaked. Double standard. Beware of the brides relatives.

I disagree...I'm usually annoyed when someone plans something for one of those days. A lot of people have lives todd and those are big weekends. Plan it on a weekend that people don't likely have plans (at least if you like the people you're inviting and actually want them to show). They can always take an extra day off if they want to.

I agree Billy. And I am being selfish. I almost always have to work the holiday weekends. I think I can get out of New Years this year. Everything else, I get screwed.

If they really want to come, they will. If not, etiquette states that anyone receiving an invitation should send a gift if they can't make it to the wedding. Then you don't need to feed or house them but still get something. You have a win/win.

I enjoyed the mini-vacation of your wedding since I had never been to Madison before. (even though to be honest I couldnt afford to go to it or the two other "destination weddings" I went to that summer.)

Cotton, I would do almost anything to avoid having to plan/pull off this big wedding that I'm locked into right now. Almost. Anything.

destination weddings give your guests something to look forward to, a vacation and a celebration plus some free booze is an excellent incentive. People do them here all the time all it seems from talking to lots of wedding guests (we do a lot of wedding dinners) most seem pleased that they got a chance to see some family/freinds as well as a locale they might not have otherwise visited. that said, make sure you cover accomodations and activities well in your packet. People want to know what such a trip will cost before commiting (naturally) so make sure that aspect is roughed out early enough for work schedules and budgets to be met.
make it a cool place that you'll want to visit on your anniversaries too.
buena suerte
Beachy
married at my home in Atlanta 1999.
yeah, of course it rained.

Thoughts from a single American living in England and currently dating a South African:

Where to go? Wherever you want. I appreciate the desire to accomodate for deal-breakers like your dad, but is there a risk your dad may not be able to attend anyway if his condition gets worse? A good friend of mine was in a similar situation, and his dad videotaped a message to the couple and sent the tape with his mom. The best man also toasted his dad at the reception as well. It wasn't the same, but it was certainly better than nothing.

Weather may be a factor. If you're still thinking anything before April, Savannah sounds like a better locale than Memphis weather-wise. Also, picking a place that's used to destination weddings would probably be less hassle, even if it means going to a resort.

Who to invite? Everyone you want + everyone you think you should. If it's far enough away, the distance will ensure the group size will be manageable.

When? ASAP, but that could still mean months to organize everything and get an accurate headcount.

Whatever you do, be sure to organize mini-receptions at home and/or in locations convenient to family & friends over the next year.

oops.

the more i read this thread, the better that drive thru sounds.

I got divorced on 6/13/05, FT. Day before my mom and dad's 30th anniversary. How's that for a little love story?

I also hate weddings on holiday weekends. Don't mess up my holiday.

YEah, and here I am, making folks come to BOMBINGHAM...

and the only way you get outta this thing is, selling redlands on the sly, grabbing that rock back when she in the shower and loading up Hersch and hitting the Mexican Blackbird.

Because if you even MENTION anything? TEARS

Golden Rule during wedding planning, as related to me by Matt U:

Agree with everything, but don't be obvious about it. Pretend to consider each boring, trivial new detail, even though you could not possibly give less of a fuck about what color the napkins or whatever are, and then slowly nodd "yes, I guess that makes sense." But don't get caught! One slight mis-step and it's Tears/Sleepin' On Dat Couch.

Man, you guys have it rough. My ex did most of our wedding planning. I did pick the color of the wedding shit (blue), but he ordered everything and handmade all of our invitations, thank you cards, etc.

See, Loog, you should've married me. Beer, BBQ and a couple of friends.

Said it before many times, WHERE WERE YOU TWO YEARS AGO?!