Mine did all the planning, handled everything, etc. I had it pretty easy, to be sure, but I could still see what he was talking about... guys just don't care about the details as much as girls do, but there's no way to tell them that without a meltdown.

I wish it was that easy, boys.

She demanding ponies and a flock of doves or something, Bloor?

No, quite the opposite. We really dont want that complicated of a wedding, but its an Atlanta wedding with tons of people which just creates a lot of details and since she works a lot and I uhhh dont, I have the feeling a lot of this shit is going to fall on me. To which my response is: If I'm gonna have to do all this, why not just skip it and fucking go elope somewhere?

Understand?

i really don't understand how women can get so crazy about the tiny little details of a wedding, and on top of that spend tens of thousands of dollars that could go towards a house or a cool trip. my wedding will be very, very simple (beach wedding on the outer banks that the parents have already approved); i don't have the energy to plan something ridiculous.

well, it's looking like Savannah. I gotta call the board of commerce and set up some other shit, but all signs point to a very, very, very drunk wedding.

seriously people, what did you expect from me?


in addition to my dad's health problems, the girl now has the return of a serious thyroid problem to deal with on top of her GREs. So it looks like I'm gonna be planning the bulk of it. i.e. married in a square with tallboys in hand followed by a "reception" of 10 people in the tiniest, dingiest democratic stronghold in GA. word.

(Bloor)Yeah, totally. But you can't just go elope.

Take a page from the Megan playbook.

1. Get a website.
2. Find hotels close to the event, call and ask abt discounts, and find their websites.
3. Put EVERYTHING on the website, and NOWHERE else. That means the event location, the food choices for dinner, times/adresses for all of it, everything. Only there, nowhere else, unless you got Them Old or Them Illiterate coming, but that should only be a tiny handfull to deal with manually.
4. Send out invites that include your names, the url, and little else.
5. Force RSVP's and food choices through the website.

This will cut down the amount of upfront work by maybe 10%, but will slice the babysitting (NOT to be underestimated!!) by about 90%. If you don't do it this way, people are gonna lose that invite and be blowing up your cell for 4 solid days prior to the event, ***right when you really fucking need them not to be bugging you.***


edit: there are companies who have template wedding sites, makes the whole thing cheap/easy, btw.

Sounds like a quesadilla party. Get ryan to loan/give you the quesadilla maker and start a'fixin'.

shit man you think I won't go there?

no i think that you already totally have.

gimme a time/date...

DONE.

quesadillas is making me all hungry.

i'm going to make some right now...because i've been told to.

So how's this for a dilemna.

last night 2 of my aunts, my grandfather, and my uncle pulled my lady friend aside and said "you guys should get married before New Years if you want Cotton's dad to be at the wedding". One of these people said this in front of my mother, who then broke down into tears. She thinks I should do it later, but not in Savannah, where we'd planned. So I'm faced with the option of moving my wedding up for the sole purpose for the increased likelihood of my father being able to attend. The other option is to wait and appear selfish in spite of my father's illness, or even worse, plan to get married after he is unable to travel. My girlfriend, who just lost both of her grandfathers in the past 2 months, has 2 parents that are too grief-ridden and overworked that they can't even pretend to be excited for her. Also, she's had to put off taking the GREs twice now because of the aforementioned losses. She's been really freaking about this and getting into the grad school and everything, and she's supposed to avoid stress at all costs because of a medical condition. So I have to do as much of this as I can before she explodes, which I find her closer to doing every day. So I'm saying fuck it, let's get the fuck out of here and do this while nobody's looking.

which brings me to the point of this: Is this selfish? and if so, is this selfishness justified for the sanctity of my impending marriage? while I could get married in an Arby's and be okay with it, it's not really for me. Its for her. and I don't want her wedding day to be more about my father's death than our life together. Furthermore, I think he'd be mortified if we changed our plans on his acocunt. So much so that I don't even want to bring it up with him because then he's going to worry about it, which is the last thing any of us wants. Big family = big drama.

So is this terrible? I don't mean to rant or draw attention to this (hence, old thread) or anything of the like, but I can't have a conversation with pretty much anyone involved without them crying and I'm sick of this. So I'm not going to tell anyone in my family, and I'm going to buy us plane tickets right after the new year so we can get married without anyone in either of our families around to fuck it up. I don't even know where it's gonna be, most likely as far away as I can afford. So yeah, that Arby's in Delaware next to the shooting range.



Holy shit that feels better. Thanks, board!

edit: nevermind

That's horrible. My grandpa was dying right before my wedding and my dad was like, "wherever you marry, make sure there are no stairs. we can't carry grandpa's wheelchair up the stairs." and i was pissed. I feel like a jerk now, but whatever. This isn't about me.

If your family is nuts over having a traditional wedding, go off and have your destination wedding and then come back and have a nice reception. You could even "renew" your vows, no matter how recent the wedding. Families want to see big events for stuff like this and unfortunately, you either piss a few people off or you piss the whole family off. Even though it's your day to do whatever you want with, if it's going to cause a lifetime of grief for all of your parents, maybe try to involve them somehow. Tell your girl not to stress, though. Once the hard part's done (wedding), it's smooth sailing.

Hang in there, Cotton. Tough decision you've got there, but it sounds like your decision is the best.

Yeah, priority #1, i think, should be your girl since she's the one you're getting hitched to, plus the health/stress issue she's got... Get some pressure off of her.

Good luck, keep venting if you need it.

Well, they could be like my family, and demand that you not elope, and thenlecture you on how you're spending too much money, and how you could have done it all much cheaper at The Embassy Suites.

You can't win, so don't even try. Understand that no matter how big or how small, you WILL spend more money for more stupid shit than you ever have in your life, and just keep a plan in the back of your mind of how to not wake up broke and resentful.

I have accomplished this nicely, I hope. We shall see Sunday.

(Oh, and Good Luck Cotton. It does suck that other people's expectations dictate, as you said, how you begin your new life together)

I'm going to try this again and try not to sound like an asshole.

Good luck, Cotton. That's a lot on your plate, but, ultimately, you can't please everyone and it seems you've taken the most important things into consideration with your decision. Good on you and best to you and the girl.

I can't imagine that much attention around me. If I ever get married, it'll be by Elvis.

What about doing just a couple of people with your dad at the justice of the peace so he can be there. Then do a ceremony and celebration at a later date in Savannah when it's better for you and the Mrs.'s.

Do whatever is best for you and the lady, and if it's that important to you figure out a way to involve your dad if he can't be there physically. It is selfish in the sense that you are putting your own interest above others. On the other hand, if people are guilt-tripping you into doing the "right" thing based on their standards, it's not about you two anymore and their accountable for their own selfishness.

you know, if dana carvey can drum along with U2 from halfway around the globe, your dad can be at any wedding with thanks to technology. laptops and webcams?

who knows.

My mother's father went into the hospital right before my parents' wedding. Mom and dad ended up in the hospital after the reception in full wedding apparel to see him. It may be odd to think of it this way, but when I think of them in wedding gown and tuxedo in the hospital, it kind of makes me smile. It's a story.

Then, they had to cut their honeymoon short because my mother's mother was admitted to the hospital. Not too long after, both my mother's parents passed away.

So many girls want their wedding day to be perfect, but if it goes perfectly, where's the story? That's me, though. I never really saw a wedding as something about the bride, but more of the commitment between two people. I was never a little girl who dreamed about my wedding, so there are no dreams to fulfill regarding it for me now. If I get married outside, I kind of hope it rains or someone spills wine on my sundress.

Anyway, it's all relative and if you do something that makes you both happy, then you should have no regrets.

Best post by anybody in a while, stacey.