Worst. Frat. Ever.

shiv · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:20 pm

Quote:

Masturbating trespasser booted from frat

Woman refused to leave PIKE house in mid-afternoon

By Jessica Vosgerchian, Daily Staff Reporter
3/26/07

Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission on Thursday and began to masturbate on a couch.

While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.

No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity.

She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.

According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."

The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report.

Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.

Police said the break-in appeared to be an isolated incident.

source

legonads · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:22 pm

Melissa?

shiv · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:26 pm

Maybe it was Spade Kitty in drag?

ptrck · **Joined:** Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:55 pm **Posts:** 5568

shiv Wrote:

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Someone throw on some Quad City DJs!

[img][650:433]http://www.air-and-space.com/197508%20Eureka%20Skunk%20Train/11%20Skunk%20Train%2045%202-8-2%20right%20front%20l.jpg[/img]

legonads · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:37 pm

shiv Wrote:

Quote:

Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.

saint · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:28 pm **Posts:** 4271

um, wtf! so odd.

south pacific · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:25 pm

shiv Wrote:

Maybe it was Spade Kitty in drag?

mutty · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:32 pm

south pacific Wrote:

shiv Wrote:

Maybe it was Spade Kitty in drag?

Can you still be considered in drag, after you've stripped off all your clothes?

And even SpadeKitty wouldn't be able to pull off the whole masturbating-for-half-hour-while-completely-nude trick in front of a bunch of frat boys without SOMEONE noticing he wasn't a college-age girl.

Leon · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:26 pm

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

mutty · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:32 pm

paranoidandroid Wrote:

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

I would need to see pictures of the couches.

alongwaltz. · **Posted:** Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:40 pm

lego Wrote:

shiv Wrote:

Quote:

Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:00 am

mutty Wrote:

paranoidandroid Wrote:

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

I would need to see pictures of the couches.

yeah its weird how the quality of the couch could swing my decision either way

juice · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:01 am

alongwaltz Wrote:

lego Wrote:

shiv Wrote:

Quote:

Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.

I first read it as they threw out two "cooches" and had to quickly re-read to see when the second perp came into the story.

Leon · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:10 am

catswilleatyou Wrote:

mutty Wrote:

paranoidandroid Wrote:

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

I would need to see pictures of the couches.

yeah its weird how the quality of the couch could swing my decision either way

if it was one of thoose nice leather couches then it would be legit but since they're getting rid of them they were probably disgusting anyways

mutty · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:26 am

paranoidandroid Wrote:

catswilleatyou Wrote:

mutty Wrote:

paranoidandroid Wrote:

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

I would need to see pictures of the couches.

yeah its weird how the quality of the couch could swing my decision either way

if it was one of thoose nice leather couches then it would be legit but since they're getting rid of them they were probably disgusting anyways

They're prolly just trying to cash in on their flood damage insurance policy, anyway.

Prince of Darkness · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:41 am **Posts:** 11048

Maybe she was a porker, or a horsey face, or both.

They never said anything about her build, just her hair and her habits, which leads me to believe that either she's fugly, or those pikes dream about dick.

pollysix · **Joined:** Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:56 am **Posts:** 5174

heh heh.

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

need to hook this chick up with p diddy

Z · **Joined:** Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:38 pm **Posts:** 7979

paranoidandroid Wrote:

catswilleatyou Wrote:

mutty Wrote:

paranoidandroid Wrote:

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

I would need to see pictures of the couches.

yeah its weird how the quality of the couch could swing my decision either way

if it was one of thoose nice leather couches then it would be legit but since they're getting rid of them they were probably disgusting anyways

you missed a critical piece of information: that they lived in a frat house. these couches were probably cum- and beer-stained to begin with.

Leon · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:38 am

Z Wrote:

paranoidandroid Wrote:

catswilleatyou Wrote:

mutty Wrote:

paranoidandroid Wrote:

I'm not sure if that would be hot or not

I would need to see pictures of the couches.

yeah its weird how the quality of the couch could swing my decision either way

if it was one of thoose nice leather couches then it would be legit but since they're getting rid of them they were probably disgusting anyways

you missed a critical piece of information: that they lived in a frat house. these couches were probably cum- and beer-stained to begin with.

I don't know I've been to some frat houses with nice couches, it just depends on how rich the frat is, although even if they were nice couchs they would still have the beer and cum stains that you mentioned.

discostu · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:55 am

The girl must not have been hot.

Hegel · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:59 am

She sounds like one of them chicks you'd see at a Rusted Root concert. In some hippie dress with more underarm hair than I have on my face and convulsing/masturbating to that damn hippie music.

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:59 am

Elvis Fu Wrote:

Someone throw on some Quad City DJs!

[img][650:433]http://www.air-and-space.com/197508%20Eureka%20Skunk%20Train/11%20Skunk%20Train%2045%202-8-2%20right%20front%20l.jpg[/img]

LOL!

Is this a faggot frat?

They shoulda immediately started taking the shades off the lamps, and getting out the softball bats.

nobody · **Posted:** Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:17 pm

you mean there are good frats?

Worst. Frat. Ever.

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