Feel free to ignore the following answer, as your imagined answer is much more entertaining, and my serious answer will ... well, probably drive you to drink. In which case, I ask, drink one for me?It's actually kind of complicated -- I have lots of health problems (mostly allergies, but they're really bad allergies), so I take lots of meds. I basically have two windows of opportunity to drink any alcoholic beverage, 12 hours apart (noon and midnight). On top of that, I have to put off my meds after that 'til the alcohol is out of my system, usually an hour, if I remember to drink right away.

Or I could plan it -- but what fun is that? "I want to drink at 10p.m., so I take my noon meds two hours early", and then I have to watch the time, drink promptly, and promptly stop drinking.

Oh, and on top of that, half the time, because I drink so rarely, I can't even enjoy it -- I go straight from sober to hungover, without the pleasant buzz. I think somewhere along the line I developed either an allergy or a sensitivity to something in beer (however, this has not been officially diagnosed by any sort of medical professional -- I'm just talking out of my ass).

So there's really very little motivation to drink, most of the time.

Basically, it sucks to be me, and if I could, I'd drink.