Consider:

- I work in the same building as my wife
- It's a big place... gotta be a broom closet here somewhere
- It's the American Dream

Had a monthly meeting w/ the boss today, and he's asking about professional goals for the coming year, and the first thing that pops into my head is "Man, I should find a way to have a nooner on the clock!"

What came out of my mouth was something about productivity and increases in affiliate revenue channels, but I was on autopilot after that.

xerox room?

I'm thinking janitor's closet.

The smell of sex, Comet, and Windex.


Mmmmmmmmm that's good lovin.

i live for opportunities like this.
and you'll find a way. now you simply must.

Sonofabitch has windows on 3 sides, and is HIGH traffic. Good thinking though. There is, however, a whooole empty department of cubicles on this floor. But it's risky.

stairwell? isolated bathroom?

Unisex Handicap restroom?

There is an underground tunnel that connects all 5 buildings (for when it snows balls in the winter), but the fucker's chock-full of cameras. It's funny, I now see the building in a whole different light... "could I do it in there?"

As for the bathrooms, that's a whole 'nother thread. They're rare, and tiny, and when a man's got bidness, seems he can never find one that isn't full to the gills already.

Why did I think you were talking about taking a nap at some point today? I should've known...

Also a fine idea, to be honest, but not doable here. Believe it or not, I'm fairly busy, and the extended absence of a nap would be noticed. But a 5-10 minute absence....

I'm all about taking naps in the car during my lunch break... nooners, on the other hand *would* be awesome but too bad all the guys at my work are ugly.

nothing about my job or workplace makes me want to have sex. i have rubbed one out a couple of times though.

It's ok, I was thinking he was going out for drinks...which is something I used to do.

Drinks would help, actually. ALOT, especially in her case. Wonder if I could slip her a mickey...

better than slipping her a minnie or a goofy!

"So, let me get this straight, Mickey, you want to leave Minnie because you think she's crazy?"
"Doc, she's not crazy, she's FUCKING GOOFY!!!!"

& doing donald's not all it's quacked up to be

many elevators? if so, jam one. 8)

The backside of the elevators are glass, overlooking the atrium. If I ever decide to quit in a blaze of glory, maybe.

hmmm, outside of the janitor's closet, i'd suggest you both look for a new job, specializing in couples

Jesus, that place sounds like it was built for the expressed purpose of negating any and all nookie opportunities.
There's myriad places here, just no good candidates. At least ones who aren't engaged or married.

Keep at it, though. One of these days you'll, in the sage words of J. Peterman, take a nibble off the love Newton whilst on the clock.

You've answered your own question. The block of empty cubicles is the clear choice - it's not fun if it's not a little bit risky. That would just be like having sex at home, except less comfortable. If you need to, rearrange the office furniture over the course of a few days so that it's as private as possible, then get busy under a desk.

Go now and do likewise.

.... Hmm... Ok, so I pile up boxes, move chairs, all one or two at a time over the course of a week or so, and build a sheltered spot? That's just crazy enough to work. By god, I believe it could work.

This warrants a field trip to the empty cubicle block.

Ferchrissakes, go straight to the highest traffic area and hump right there on the floor. Just make sure to be business-like while you do it.