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Evil Dr. K
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:15 am 
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Three office girls in a lift notice a dubious stain on the wall.

The redhead says, "Oh my God! That looks like semen!"

The brunette gives it a sniff and says "Oh my God! It smells like semen too!"

So then the blonde goes up to the stain, licks it and says "Well it's not someone from our office!"

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toots
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:51 am 
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blondes get on my pet peeves!

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Finch Platte
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:36 pm 
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CHICAGO (AFP) – A Texas man died while raping a 77-year-old woman, local media reported.

Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez, 53, broke into the woman's rural home armed with a knife and attacked her.

But in the midst of the rape he complained he wasn't feeling well and "stopped having sex with her so he could rest," the Corpus Christi Caller reported citing the local sheriff's office.

The registered sex offender continued to fondle her, however, then rolled over and died.

The woman initially thought he had passed out drunk because she smelled alcohol on his breath. She fled her home in her car and called her daughter for help.

Investigators believe Gutierrez died of a heart attack after riding his bicycle two miles to the woman's home on a hot summer day but are awaiting the results of an autopsy.

He was on parole for sex crimes including indecency with a child in 1986 and had been released from prison in 2008.

The Refugio County Sheriff's Office was not immediately available for comment.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110614/ts ... ussexcrime

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Cap'n Squirrgle
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:38 pm 
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Dedication to his craft

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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Hegel
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:05 pm 
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Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:
Dedication to his craft


Agreed. I am envious of people who can die doing something they love.
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rogneeb
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:49 pm 
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judges would have also accepted "its always nice to be able to go out on top"

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Thee Incident
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:36 pm 
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Bob is totally kicking himself for missing this part of the thread.

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wenchlette
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:42 pm 
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Finch Platte Wrote:
The registered sex offender continued to fondle her, however, then rolled over and died.

I don't even get this when he rolls over and falls asleep.

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i haven't heard of that

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Ramenamen
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:51 pm 
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Flying Rabbit
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:50 pm 
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at $4.50 can you afford not to keep these in yr glove box?

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Baltimore is a town where everyone thinks they’re normal, but they’re totally insane. In New York, they think they’re crazy, but they’re perfectly normal. --John Waters
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mutty
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:47 am 
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Only MOST adults?!?
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shiv
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:50 am 
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mutty Wrote:
Only MOST adults?!?


ft, loog...

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FT
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 10:17 am 
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Cap'n Squirrgle
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:14 pm 
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awesome

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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Senator LooGAR
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:16 pm 
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So, my brother is apparently something of a celebrity in the DC Hardcore scene.

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Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry Wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT Wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)

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Cap'n Squirrgle
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:16 pm 
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saywhatnow?

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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toots
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:17 pm 
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frostingspoon
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ol loogar mackaye

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Flying Rabbit
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:17 pm 
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There's still a scene? What's the name of his band?

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Baltimore is a town where everyone thinks they’re normal, but they’re totally insane. In New York, they think they’re crazy, but they’re perfectly normal. --John Waters
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toots
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:17 pm 
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frostingspoon
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fuGARzi

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toots
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:18 pm 
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frostingspoon
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ok im done

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Stop Breathin'
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:45 pm 
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toots Wrote:
fuGARzi

:lol:

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because you're empty, and I'm empty

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I'd probably just drink myself to death. More so, I mean.


"Hey Judas. I know you've made a grave mistake.
Hey Peter. You've been pretty sweet since Easter break."

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Finch Platte
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:52 pm 
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I would have loved to have been there for this.

Quote:
SAN FRANCISCO -- Police say a University of New Mexico football player's saggy pants led to his arrest at San Francisco International Airport.

Sgt. Michael Rodriguez says 20-year-old Deshon Marman was boarding a flight Wednesday to Albuquerque, N.M., when a U.S. Airways employee noticed his pants were "below his buttocks, but above the knees, and his boxer shorts were showing."

Rodriguez tells the San Francisco Chronicle that the employee asked Marman to pull up his pants, but he refused. She then asked him to leave the plane.

The officer says that after 15 minutes, Marman got off the plane and was cited for trespassing.

Marman's mother, Donna Doyle, tells the paper that her son had attended a friend's funeral and he was still in an emotionally raw state.

US Airways spokeswoman Valerie Wunder says the airline's dress code forbids "indecent exposure or inappropriate" attire.



I would have Nelsoned him.
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Last edited by Finch Platte on Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Cap'n Squirrgle
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:59 pm 
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frostingspoon
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I mean, pull up your motherfucking pants. Just stop it. Pull them up. It's not fashion, it's not a right, it's everybody having to look at your shitstained drawers. Pull up your goddamn pants.

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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Finch Platte
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:03 pm 
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Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:
I mean, pull up your motherfucking pants. Just stop it. Pull them up. It's not fashion, it's not a right, it's everybody having to look at your shitstained drawers. Pull up your goddamn pants.


Hmmm. I guess that's better than "Ha haa."

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Finch Platte
 Post subject: Re: June 2011 Random Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:07 pm 
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Remember that kid who had sex with his high school teacher a while back?

Apparently, he died recently.














Died of high-fiving.

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