Oh, my sister-in-law, then.

I haven't researched it at all, but that does sound much more likely.

But I'm basing that off of one guy's post, that, upon further review, sounds more like wishful thinking that Maynard joined his religion.

A Course In Miracles?

The guy was claiming he subscribed to something called "Adventism."

are they the ones that celebrate the little peek-a-boo calendars?

No Tool shows on Sunday, then?...

I recall hearing that my hometown Brewers had a pitcher in the mid seventies or mid eighties who was a seventh-day adventist. They let him skip Sunday games.

I'm pretty sure "Adventism" is not "Seventh-Day Adventism."

EDIT: maybe I'm wrong. But there's no way Keenan is a 7DA.

Wouldn't that call for him skipping Saturday games, then. Maybe I'm confusing religions.

Might we now see new versions of the "Sober" and "Prison Sex" videos, re-cast with Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber?

Maynard is probably going to appear one day with some animal that he has named Jesus and say that he found it and is going to take care of it.

You're right, btw. Old co-worker was 7DA, and never worked saturdays. Actually, he had to leave and be home before sunset on Fridays. Except for the whole "believing in it" part, it was a pretty sweet arrangement.

this has got to be a load of bs.

Thanks for the pick-up, Laos and Madison. Though you were both wrong in the sixties.... F'n' pinkos -- I am surprised you know your Judeo-Christianity so well.

7th Day are far more extreme than regular Adventists. Regular Advents aren't much different than Wesleyans or Nazarenes or slightly-less-pent-up Baptists.

who knew?

Wow. Guess little-boy molestation really does work for priests, dosen't it?

Well, me for one.

TOOL Admit To April Fool's Prank, Continue Writing New Album - Apr. 7, 2005

TOOL's official web site, ToolBand.com, has been updated with the following message:

"Good news, April Fool's fans. The writing and recording is back under way. When approached for comment on his recent encounter with the Son of God, Maynard said, 'That guy's a punk!'

"As it turns out, Maynard was out 'location scouting' near the Fourth Street bridge in downtown Los Angeles when he 'found Jesus.'

"'Turns out he was here the whole time, and not that difficult to find if you know where to look,' Maynard reported. Apparently Jesus offered him the position of campaign manager for his new line of 'Holier Than Thou' sparkling holy water, which Maynard, of course, accepted. What wasn't obvious was that this guy is a total drunk. It's an occupational hazard. Every time our Lord goes to get a glass of water, it transforms into a generic grocery store Merlot. Because the alcoholic is the Son of God and an all-knowing being, he knew of Maynard's extensive interest in collecting wine. So he went to work trying to get his lips on it. Maynard caught J.C. in his cellar transforming his precious wine collection into urine, then pissing it into the empty 'sparkling holy water' bottles for the eventual sale to all those people who bought, read, and embraced 'The Celestine Prophecy'. Tragic.

"'Truth be told,' Maynard confessed, 'I wasn't feeling top notch when I found him. The evening prior to the day in question I had over-indulged in a series of bad Molotov shrimp cocktails with a side of Makers Mark and twin strippers. So after an entire night of G.I. Blowouts, hot/cold sweats, and blurred vision, it's very possible that the guy I met wasn't even Jesus at all. For all I know, it was Willem Dafoe.'"

Tool may be many things, but funny they are not.

duh.

'OH WHEEEEEEERE IS MY F***ING HAIRBRUSH?"

Let the official Head Vs. Maynard beef begin!

Let's play dress up....

http://toolshed.down.net/more/fun/dressmaynard.html

y'know i used to like tool, but now i like this thread more... thanks guys!