http://18to88.com/Articles/starwars2007.htm
AFC EAST
New England
Emperor Palpatine
12 - 4
Keeps Darth Vader (below) on a tight leash. Used to be terrifying, but now is just old and wrinkled.
New York
Darth Maul
10 - 6
The threatening apprentice. Knows what he's doing, but will still end up sliced in half at the bottom of a reactor shaft.
Buffalo
Biggs
6 - 10
He was right there until the end, then he blew up.
Miami
Jar Jar
5 - 11
Bumbling moron.
AFC NORTH
Baltimore
The Death Star
12 - 4
Incredible defense against a large scale attack, but has a tendency to implode.
Pittsburgh
Sebulba
10 - 6
Wins a lot of pod races, but has been known to cheat. The shot at another title was undone by an ugly crash.
Cincinnati
Crix Nadine
10 - 6
Imprisoned, but he broke out just in time to lead a major offensive.
Cleveland
Jawas
3 - 13
They are small, brown, and constantly trading for junk.
AFC SOUTH
Colts
Luke Skywalker
12 - 4
You aren't sure he is going to get it done in the end, but you can't imagine the story ending any other way.
Jaguars
Salacious Crumb
10 - 6
Sort of menacing at first glance, but easily defeated by lesser heroes.
Houston
Bantha
6 - 10
Slow moving herd animals who are easily mastered.
Tennessee
Admiral Piett
6 - 10
Competent leadership that is constantly failed by its underlings.
AFC WEST
Chargers
Darth Vader
14 - 2
Very frightening, but never lived up to its incredible potential.
Denver
Admiral Ackbar
9 - 7
A brilliant strategist who always seems to fall into traps.
Kansas City
Taun Taun
6 - 10
You have to be careful because they'll let you ride them to death.
Oakland
Storm troopers
3 - 13
They may look tough, but they aren't.
NFC EAST
Dallas
Young Obi-Wan
11 - 5
Has talented protégées, but it all could go horribly wrong.
Philadelphia
Mace Windu
10 - 6
Nearly defeated the Emperor. (Also McNabb would look badass wielding a purple lightsaber.)
New York
8 - 8
Princess Leia
Sibling of the chosen one.
Washington
Jabba
7 - 9
Rich and bloated.
NFC NORTH
Chicago
Anakin
12 - 4
Brash and talented, but has no arm.
Minnesota
Mon Mothma
6 - 10
Really, really boring.
Green Bay
Yoda
6 - 10
Green and 800 years old.
Detroit
6 - 10
Admiral Ozzel
"He is as clumsy as he is stupid."
NFC SOUTH
New Orleans
Wedge
12 - 4
His presence is nearly inexplicable, but he's going to be there in the end.
Carolina
Millennium Falcon
7 - 9
A favorite of everyone's, but may break down at exactly the wrong time.
Tampa Bay
The Naboo Squadron
3 - 13
Lots of pilots, none of them any good.
Atlanta
Han Solo frozen in carbonite
2 - 14
You couldn't be more screwed.
NFC WEST
Seattle
The planet Kamino
10 - 6
Wet, rainy and wet.
St. Louis
Kit Fisto
9 - 7
Impressive looking warrior who is too easily defeated by the dark side.
Arizona
Slave Princess Leia
9 - 7
Always the sexy pick, but ends up choking you to death.
San Francisco
Bail Organa
6 - 10
A rich lineage in formal attire.
