http://18to88.com/Articles/starwars2007.htm




AFC EAST


New England Emperor Palpatine



12 - 4


Keeps Darth Vader (below) on a tight leash. Used to be terrifying, but now is just old and wrinkled.


New York Darth Maul



10 - 6


The threatening apprentice. Knows what he's doing, but will still end up sliced in half at the bottom of a reactor shaft.


Buffalo Biggs



6 - 10


He was right there until the end, then he blew up.


Miami Jar Jar



5 - 11


Bumbling moron.






AFC NORTH

Baltimore The Death Star



12 - 4


Incredible defense against a large scale attack, but has a tendency to implode.


Pittsburgh Sebulba



10 - 6


Wins a lot of pod races, but has been known to cheat. The shot at another title was undone by an ugly crash.


Cincinnati Crix Nadine



10 - 6


Imprisoned, but he broke out just in time to lead a major offensive.


Cleveland Jawas



3 - 13


They are small, brown, and constantly trading for junk.





AFC SOUTH


Colts Luke Skywalker



12 - 4


You aren't sure he is going to get it done in the end, but you can't imagine the story ending any other way.


Jaguars Salacious Crumb



10 - 6


Sort of menacing at first glance, but easily defeated by lesser heroes.


Houston Bantha



6 - 10


Slow moving herd animals who are easily mastered.


Tennessee Admiral Piett



6 - 10


Competent leadership that is constantly failed by its underlings.





AFC WEST

Chargers Darth Vader



14 - 2


Very frightening, but never lived up to its incredible potential.


Denver Admiral Ackbar



9 - 7


A brilliant strategist who always seems to fall into traps.


Kansas City Taun Taun



6 - 10


You have to be careful because they'll let you ride them to death.


Oakland Storm troopers



3 - 13


They may look tough, but they aren't.





NFC EAST

Dallas Young Obi-Wan



11 - 5


Has talented protégées, but it all could go horribly wrong.


Philadelphia Mace Windu



10 - 6


Nearly defeated the Emperor. (Also McNabb would look badass wielding a purple lightsaber.)


New York

8 - 8 Princess Leia




Sibling of the chosen one.


Washington Jabba



7 - 9


Rich and bloated.





NFC NORTH

Chicago Anakin



12 - 4


Brash and talented, but has no arm.


Minnesota Mon Mothma



6 - 10


Really, really boring.


Green Bay Yoda



6 - 10


Green and 800 years old.


Detroit

6 - 10 Admiral Ozzel




"He is as clumsy as he is stupid."





NFC SOUTH

New Orleans Wedge




12 - 4

His presence is nearly inexplicable, but he's going to be there in the end.


Carolina Millennium Falcon



7 - 9

A favorite of everyone's, but may break down at exactly the wrong time.


Tampa Bay The Naboo Squadron



3 - 13


Lots of pilots, none of them any good.


Atlanta Han Solo frozen in carbonite



2 - 14


You couldn't be more screwed.




NFC WEST

Seattle The planet Kamino



10 - 6


Wet, rainy and wet.


St. Louis Kit Fisto



9 - 7


Impressive looking warrior who is too easily defeated by the dark side.


Arizona Slave Princess Leia




9 - 7

Always the sexy pick, but ends up choking you to death.


San Francisco Bail Organa




6 - 10

A rich lineage in formal attire.

Biggs, eh? At least we got the porn 'stache working for us.

Thanks for the effort rami, but the original link is easier to read.

Man, that's some GENIUS, right there. And I'm on board with them having Dallas win the NFC East at 11-5, but looking at their schedule, I'm leaning toward 12-4.

I liked this better when it was college teams compared to rappers.

Also, points subtracted for acknowledging the existence of the second trilogy.

I remember the one with college basketball COACHES compared to Simpsons characters. Kelvin Sampson was Dr. Hibbert. Would that make Tubby Smith Carl?

I would have to look half of these characters up. If I cared.

Also, there are some really obscure characters from the originals on there. That is one nerdy list.

Like Marge, I don't know anything about football, but this is hilarious.

old & wrinkled?