what's one word for: wow, it was actually pretty cool, it didn't suck, and i'd see it again tomorrow?

KPH

It was great. I'm tired.

I agree. As a stand-alone movie I thought it was very good. It felt so much more like a Star Wars movie than episodes 1 and 2 did. The focus acually seems to be on the story this time! Anyway, I'll likely see it again. Not all of the holes from episodes 1 and 2 are filled in and those that are are a little weak but if the other two had not been made I would have thought this was the same caliber as the original three. Maybe those other holes will be filled in with the TV series that supposedly going to bridge the gap between episodes 3 and 4.


By the way, if you don't want a spoiler, don't read the 'Favorite Part' of Radcliffe's post.

Lucas is great with architecture, machinery, and landscapes - but everything non-CGI in that flick is ASS. The dialogue is cliched and clumsy. Character development is nil. Every scene is purely expository. And the directing of anything human sucks balls.

Edit: oh yeh, thanks for the reminder, Andyfest. SPOILER ALERT

Favorite part: when Darth Vader raises off the platform in the operating room, learns that his 13 year old, huge-skulled wife is dead, and then faces camera yelling "NOOOOOO!" Fuck, I laughed out loud at that. Nice to have a Daily Show moment in the middle of that steaming pile of ratshit.

Pretty much sums it up.

I just got back in, and this sucked a stray dog's asshole till it was sparkling pink.

The guy who plays Palpatine turned in one of the worst on screen performances I have ever witnessed, especially his stupid ass voice changes a la the lead singer of Morbid Angel.

The whole thing had the feel of a soap opera, with quick cuts and switches of too many pieces and then the moment of, "oh shit, better wrap this up".

It's obvious the past few years were spent on two things: making digitally designed canyons and holes seem really deep, and coming up with a different fade from scene to scene. You get the feeling it took less time to write the script than it did to actually watch the end result.

I don't expect anything highfalutin' when settling down for a Star Wars flick, but this was fucking embarrassing. It was really half-ass from the get go. I liked Attack of the Clones considerably more than this trash.

EDIT: I forgot all the bullshit ham-handed political barbs. Puh-leaze.

Are you sure?

You and Radcliffe both went to see this prior to the opening weekend, and yet you somehow seem to be missing the point of these movies.

I actually happen to agree with most of your criticisms, but all together they don't make it any worse than Return of the Jedi which, if you'll bother to go back and watch it, wasn't really so hot itself.

You don't have to like this movie, but there's no fucking way it was worse than Attack of the Clones. Pretty much everything you complained about here applies to that movie in spades.

My opinion:
Of course it was the best of the prequels, and probably as good as Jedi if not better. It had tons of problems (I laughed out loud at several "serious" scenes), but none of that stopped me from enjoying it. I'd go see it again.

Don't get your Yoda ears in a twist.

I didn't miss any point of these movies whatsoever. I've seen better acting and execution in the infomercial for the Hee Haw infomercial.

This was complete crap, even by Lucas' already permissable standards.

Billy Rad must be a joy to live with.

"Son, I will teach you the way. The way to hate all things. All things suck and you must learn to explain why. Contempt is the key to contentment."

I guess the italicized phrase "prior to the opening weekend" means something, but damned if I can figure out what it is.

Anyway, perhaps the "point" of these movies does elude me. I've never been a fan of Star Wars. I was 17 when that first one came out and I thought, quite correctly, that it was just a goofy kid's movie. The problem seems to be that a generation or two of those goofy kids never bothered to grow up and seem to hold on to the belief that something they loved at the age of 7 maintains relevance into their Peter Pan adulthoods. At least in those first 3 installments there was an actor like Harrison Ford, who recognized the material as 3rd grade piffle and delivered all of his lines with a wink to all the sentient beings in the audience. Now, however, with the ridiculous success of the franchise, the actors are expected to take the written word of George Lucas as the gospel, so no humor can penetrate the thick fog of its dim verbiage.

So what, exactly, is the point? Is it merely to sit in geeklike wonderment, ignoring all the obvious failings of this cathedral of excrement, and exclaim "wow, what neat spaceships!" Or is it to simply ignore that Lucas lifted the plot wholesale from the King Arthur myth and feign surprise at every awkward epiphany? Seriously, oh wise one, what is the point here?

I'm pretty sure the point is spaceships and laser sword fights and lots of "We must save the galaxy from E-Vil"

Pretty much.

It's called having fun.

heh heh cathedral of excrement

I like that.

You should try a little critical analysis on for size some day. It might come in handy when you get around to that book you keep threatening to write.

Yep I should.

Sometimes I'd rather not spend my life hating everything, though.

I'm perfectly fine with my posts, too.

I bet I'll agree with most of your points about Episode 3, but I'll still think the movie was fun in a cathedral of force-filled excrement way.

Probably because that's less prolific than polluting previously empty space with droning laundry lists of every artist and song from 1978-1993.

And I bet you'll think it's fun while the CGI battles wage, but that it's tedious and painfully dull everytime an actor opens their mouth.

Like I already said, Lucas is great with the eye candy - but there is no doubt his helper monkeys at ILM spent way more time creating cityscapes than he spent writing the script. The scenes between Portman and Christensen are not just clumsy and trite, they're excruciatingly uncomfortable to witness - as profoundly dumb as a junior high school play, and presented with the barest levels of craft and energy. If that's your idea of fun, you're welcome to it.

Sweet.

I'll try not to list anything that's now playing in the now playing thread. I'll just type "some stuff" from now on.

Damn. I was hoping they somehow got chemistry in the past couple years.
The Padme-Anakin scenes in Episode 2 did suck. I was hoping they'd figured that out by now.

Yeah, that would be a significant behavioral change.

So is Lucas not good with actors or does he just not care about acting much? I've always wondered which it is. Or a combination of both, maybe? Or does he think that ponderous acting is good acting?

You guys fucking crack me up sometimes. It means you rushed out to see this movie, having never been a Star Wars fan, apparently just so you could educate us all on how much it sucks.



Don't think too hard about it. You can't enjoy this, and I certainly can't force you to. It sucks more for you than anyone else.

Lucas lifted all of Star Wars from various sources, at least in the original series, to try to create some universal modern fairy-tale that would appeal to 12-year-olds everywhere. It was never meant to be too closely scrutinized. I'm certainly not saying that any of these movies are beyond reproach, but as action/fantasy/sci-fi escapism goes, you can do much, much worse. Even though the execution is often lacking and sometimes embarassing (even in the old flicks), the "world" of Star Wars is engrossing enough for the characters to become "real" to anyone with any imagination.

However, I have to say that 17 would seem like a pretty bad age to be introduced to this little fantasy world. I mean, what sophomoric adolescent wise-ass wouldn't be eager to show off his superior intellect by enlightening everyone else on just how silly and childish these ridiculously popular movies are?

I can't figure it out. He was great directing actors in American Graffiti, so it's not like he doesn't have the skill. I suspect that he's a tech geek - his interest is mainly in the creation of these alien worldscapes and shit, and he sees the day-to-day slog of writing and directing to be necessary evils. I mean, if that's it, then on a certain level I can empathize, 'cuz writing and directing are a fucking grind, lacerating exercises in self-doubt on a good day. But that doesn't excuse the guy from being responsible for not doing the work. He got Lawrence Kasdan to write The Empire Strikes Back (and Irvin Kirshner to direct it), so why not hand this Sith thing over to someone who's up for the challenge?

Two words: complimentary tickets. What, you think I camped overnight with the lightsabre crowd?

No, he would have seen you there in that case.

I think Lucas should get Peter Jackson to do the final three films and let him show him how a trilogy should be done.