tickets to bright eyes - $28
bar tab - $80
lucky dog from street vendor at 2:00 am - $3
pizza for me and a friend at 3:00 am - $7
releasing a fart that smells so bad your friend pukes on the way home - priceless


* Bright Eyes sucked big time, and the Faint too for that matter

Man, that's really beautiful. But seriously, that gave me the best chuckle I've had all day, because I'm actually hearing this in the Mastercard-commercial voiceover-guy's voice.

I have a new hero

Damn, I want a Lucky Dog.

Actually, this reminds me of the time I burped in the car and it smelled so bad the two guys in the backseat didn't believe it wasn't a fart.

it was truly amazing. he actully puked twice because of it. and the lucky dog was worth walking around with musturd down my shirt the rest of the night.

i'm gonna bump this just in case somebody missed my life's crowning achievement.

Thread delivers

Nice bartab.

What is it about cars that makes your average fart so much...more? Is it something in the upholstery? It's like MSG for farts.

And shower stalls -- you ever fart in the shower and then have to live with it? I screamed like a little girl. There's something about being stuck with it. I think it's the enclosed space.

Farting RULES!!

Check it.


http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

I can't stop reading this. Well done, oldbulee.

I was actually talking about this with my girlfriend today about farting.
Have you ever been at work and get your first fart of the day and you are not sure if it's gonna smell or not? The other day at work, and mind you this was just the beginning of the day, I had this 4 second fart in which I was so scared it was going to rank. To my surprise, it was clean. I was so happy that I just farted all day long. I farted right next to my boss and did'nt have a care in the world until the last fart that I let which was around 2pm. Still, not having a care in the world, I blasted a fart at my desk. All of the sudden, a tidal wave a stink surrounded me and my desk. It fucking stunk so bad, it honest to god smelled like someone cut open a skunk. I praied that no one would come by my desk. Luckily, no one did.

I did not fart again until I got in my car.

Plus you know it's gonna stick to you because you're wet.

My car farts often smell like potato chips.

Good god. I don't fart at work, ever. With my luck, it will be the one that picks up a passenger.

Whew. Imagine if they smelled like Funyuns.

it has been so long since I was in a car going home for the night, that this really made me laugh

rock on, and, well, fart on.. big man.

did he puke in his/your car?

even better. another friend's car, but even he was laughing his ass off.

Good friend of mine has no sense of smell because of some nasal plumbing issues... He calls me one day to confess that he has no idea if his farts ever smell, and is worried because his girl likes to shower with him all the time. "I mean, it's first thing in the morning, I got stuff goin' on down there, and I have no idea whether what I just did is grossing her out and she's putting on a good face, or what..."

That reminds me of the old "Now that we've got your hearing fixed we can work on your sense of smell" joke.

It's unhealthy, but I try to make it a rule never to drop bombs at the workplace. But come time for bed, beware the cabbage gas. You know, the pyroflatulatory gas used to power Dutch ovens. Fortunately, I've not lost a bed-fellow yet.

Congrats, oldbulee!

Wearing headphones and farting is a dangerous combination. You think you're alone, but...

oh dear, this is bringing back bad memories from last night... hubby had multiple beers (including two he brewed himself) and then black bean chili. Let's just say that me and the dogs were dazed in the morning from continual nighttime massive gas inhalation.