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 Post subject: dating the divorced
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:15 pm 
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frostingspoon

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so i guess i'm getting to the age where women might have already been married and divorced (and have kids, though I haven't run into that yet)

i was recently approached by a woman who had been divorced, and it admittedly freaked me out a bit.

anyone have any experience with this?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:18 pm 
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why would that freak you out?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:20 pm 
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DayStar Wrote:
why would that freak you out?


it's bad enough that people have bagage from old x's, i can't fathom what post divorce baggag is like.

it's short sighted and generalizing, but that's why it freaked me out.

"gave me pause" is probably more acurate than "freaked me out"

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:23 pm 
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I've done it. I don't know if it's a post-divorce thing as opposed to a "5.5 years older and has 100x more dating/sexual experience than I do." She would talk about all the roadblocks we were able to avoid, and I had no clue what she was talking about.

We lasted 5 months, which is my longest relationship to date.


Last edited by Sketch on Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:23 pm 
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How old are you? Once you get to the late 20s or 30s, especially in the midwest it seems, you are going to find many single people that have been married already.

And yeah, why would that freak you out? I could see the kids thing being an issue, and I know being divorced is viewed as "baggage" (and there can be emotional baggage, but there certainly doesn't need to be), but I don't understand why.

I'm divorced myself, and most of the women I've dated have been divorced. I actually think it has some advantages if they are emotionally stable.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:24 pm 
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I dated a divorced chick once


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:26 pm 
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My only experience with divorced women is my mom, and I think she was a catch. Plus she had a wonderful 5 year old to add to the relationship.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:29 pm 
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Spade Kitty Wrote:
I dated a divorced chick once


lol yeah, we're really not that bad. We're just a lot fucking pickier then we used to be.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:31 pm 
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My ex was divorced...

well, she was only realy married for a few months before it was anulled, but it was till married. she ws young and stupid...

now she is older and still stupid.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:33 pm 
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Stone Wrote:
How old are you?


i'll be 30 in august.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:34 pm 
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Obviously having been previously married is quite a heavy experience that would certainly affect future relationships... but I don't think it's necessary that different from other serious previous relationships.

People who have never been married could still have been in long-term relationships, lived with someone, etc. and that would probably have an effect on how they'd be in the future.

Just a thought.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:36 pm 
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jewels santana Wrote:
Stone Wrote:
How old are you?


i'll be 30 in august.


and you are only running into this now? LOL.

"divorced" is fine...

"divorced with children"- that freaks me out - what can I say...


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:37 pm 
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The longer you're in the single life, the more likely the available pool will be filled with a higher percentage of divorcees.

Modern times, mon, modern times.

I have 2 ex's, and each of them have an additional ex after I left the picture. If you can avoid changing your own status to ex or potential ex, do it.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:39 pm 
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frostingspoon

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f4df Wrote:
jewels santana Wrote:
Stone Wrote:
How old are you?


i'll be 30 in august.


and you are only running into this now? LOL.


i live in a city, i think people tend to get married later in big cities.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:40 pm 
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I dated a single mom once for about 8 months. She was sweet, a little needy.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:44 pm 
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jewels santana Wrote:
f4df Wrote:
jewels santana Wrote:
Stone Wrote:
How old are you?


i'll be 30 in august.


and you are only running into this now? LOL.


i live in a city, i think people tend to get married later in big cities.


lol what do you think Im cleatus or something? Im from NYC, lived in Baltimore and now Detroit... maybe you are just lucky.. well its downhill from now on LOL


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:44 pm 
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I prefer dating the married...that way we have something in common


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:45 pm 
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f4df Wrote:
jewels santana Wrote:
Stone Wrote:
How old are you?


i'll be 30 in august.


and you are only running into this now? LOL.

"divorced" is fine...

"divorced with children"- that freaks me out - what can I say...


I always made my dating life and my having a child stay separate. Never introduced them ever. Not for four years. Not til Josh, and that was only cause I knew we'd end up married.

It doesn't have to freak you out. And if the women have great arrangements with the father(like I did) then you can actually date them without the child being around, and when they're with their child they're occupied and not trying to be with you.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:53 pm 
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Charli Wrote:

It doesn't have to freak you out.


I suppose it doesnt have to, but it does. But believe it or not, not all women are as level-headed and rational as you Jen;) All I am saying is the divorced with children women that i met made me want to run, fast, and far... away.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:04 pm 
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frostingspoon

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f4df Wrote:
jewels santana Wrote:
f4df Wrote:
jewels santana Wrote:
Stone Wrote:
How old are you?


i'll be 30 in august.


and you are only running into this now? LOL.


i live in a city, i think people tend to get married later in big cities.


lol what do you think Im cleatus or something? Im from NYC, lived in Baltimore and now Detroit... maybe you are just lucky.. well its downhill from now on LOL


all my friends got married around 28-35 range
all my friends 45 minutes out into the suburbs got married at 22

i dunno, i think there is something to my theory.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:06 pm 
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no you are right about average age of marriage.. the easy way around this is, however, just date younger women lol


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:07 pm 
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Defintely some truth to your theory. People in small towns in Louisiana tend to marry pretty young. Especially those that stay there after high school.

I got married at 24, and ain't exactly living in the big city.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:12 pm 
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Charli Wrote:
Spade Kitty Wrote:
I dated a divorced chick once


lol yeah, we're really not that bad. We're just a lot fucking pickier then we used to be.


tell 'em, hon.

divorced is the same as breaking up. think about how many people you've lived with and then broke up with. same thing.

now...kids completely change the whole thing. i agree about keeping kids seperate in the beginning because more than likely you will not be worthy of ever meeting them. and if somebody doesn't like kids from the get go it's a bit of a red flag for me.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:16 pm 
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what about divorced with quints?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:27 pm 
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frostingspoon

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ayah Wrote:
think about how many people you've lived with and then broke up with. same thing.


0

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