Apparently, when the federal stooges at airport security "recommend" something, they really mean the "require" something.

Case in point:

Federal airport security stooge: Sir, I recommend you remove your shoes

Somewhat tired air traveller: I'd really rather not. I fly quite a bit, and I know these shoes won't set off the machine

Federal airport security stooge: Sir, listen to me, I recommend you remove your shoes

Somewhat tired air traveller: I heard you, I recommend you buy Covenant Transport, it's trading pretty cheap right now, and I prefer to keep my shoes on

Other federal airport security stooge: Sir, you have to listen to me

Somewhat tired, resigned and barefoot air traveller, after allowing gravity to cause shoes to hit plastic tub with a resounding thunk: Fine, it's your floor

Federal airport stooge on the other side of x-ray device: Why? What did you do to the floor?

Somewhat tired barefoot air traveller: I smeared bodily fluid all over it.

Federal airport stooge: Oh, that's okay.

Baltimore-Washington International just got slapped with controversy and a P.R. nightmare for security contractors who stole a bunch of electronic equipment from scores of servicemen and women going to/from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Oh, and if you ever get an inkling that these wand waving limpdicks just might not be qualified to perform any sort of security tasks, just remember that Coolio was once a baggage screener at LAX. Fo' real.

Other air-travel-related sign of the apocalypse:

listed in the in-flight entertainment programming:

Frickin' A: "Jessie's Girl"