For far too long those who spotted something monsterous in the woods were dismissed as kooks, losers, weirdos and hillbillies-on-the-moonshine. But all that changed today when a credible witness (me, don't laugh) took this devastating photo which will rock the world of crypto-zoology.
I have looked into the eyes of the beast and I felt no fear. All I felt was a sort of kinship with this extraordinary specimen. I think he (or possible she) gave a little wry smile which I interpreted as "I'd love to learn to play Backgammon in a laboratory but my place is here, away from humans, doing stuff in the woods" before he (or possible she) bounded back into the undergrowth with the sort of happy skip that might belong to a child...if the child was an enormous hairy brute.
Some of my fellow men may now think "I know, let's hunt him (or possible she) down and chain them up and sell tickets on Broadway but then take to many flash photographs, enraging the beast into a wanton rampage across Manhatten Island"
To which all I can say "Who is the truly civilized?" Stay in deep in your woods monkey-man. Deep in your woods...
