C'mon, there's got to be some stories.

My shortest relationship was over negative three years (and by over, I mean negative 4 or 5 years). What do I mean by negative? Well, we never really had a relationship, so technically it's zero (went on one date, so perhaps you could say it was a couple of hours). But I was so smitten by her, that I couldn't date anyone else for three years after that. So she indirectly took me out of circulation for that long, hence, negative three years.

My shortest non-negative relationship was about a week. A "fling", I like to call it, in hindsight. Still sort-of friends with the person, but we don't talk as much as we used to before that.

a night? i mean what kinda relationship are we talking about?

I got a handjob at a strip club for the price of a drink. So, I'd say about two songs long.

3 minutes

hookups aside, um...about 3 weeks.

About 10 minutes in a port-a-potty @ the Landing during the UGA/UF football game.

Feel free to define it yourself. The real point here is to tell stories.

I'm enjoying the short stories.

Telling someone to "Grab you some sink" in the bathroom at a bar in PTC

Replace "smitten" with "fucked up" and add a few dates to DC's story, and I've got negative seven years.

Outside that, I'd say two weeks.

With a French girl named Pascal who I met on the Main here in Montreal. A pretty sketchy chick, in retrospect, who offered me a pill of ecstacy when I asked for candy. An hour after meeting her, we were headed back to my place, when she stopped and started making out with some burly cracked dude on the street and his burly cracked friends started punching my neck. They all left, and she came after me still all into me, but I dumped her then and there (and walked swiftly home on the side streets).

This is the saddest thing I've ever read.

I had a similar kind of thing happen when I was in my late teens. I met a guy during a confusing time in my life. It was pretty much love at first sight for both of us. We spent an amazing month together, but I was pretty young at the time (he was a couple of years older) and I was kind of intimidated by how insanely we "clicked".

*insert other complications that would take too long to explain*

So I ended it. It didn't really end in my head/heart until about 8 years later. Kind of sad, although I guess that was just how it was meant to turn out. We nearly got together years later but it was obvious that it was too late. It was nice to get it resolved though. Yup.

The bright side to it: I learned that if you hit upon something in your life that seems right, you should just go for it without comprimise or fear.

No offense, it's also the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why you would let anyone affect you like that is beyond me.

1st place: 15 or 20 minutes with mexican "stripper" in Tijuana.

2nd place: 20 or 25 minutes with a "stripper" in Costa Rica.

i had a negative relationship for like 6 years...we would kind of hook up every few months and then fight, stop seeing each other, then repeat the cycle. it was brutal - eventually I cut off all communication the week I met my current wife.

before meeting my wife the longest relationship I had had was like a month so I have many short relationships.

Sensitive. First girlfriend. First kiss. Dumps you. So interested in post-dating intimate friendship that she calls you and talks about how she wants to rip her heart of her ribcage. Within two months, she's engaged to a Navy guy stationed in Japan.

Thought process: "Gee, these must be the sort of women that are attracted to me. I don't think I can handle this." You'd be amazed how quickly seven years can go by like that.

Chris, I don't except you to understand. No offense, but you think a recognizing a tempermental trait that I inherited from my mother is cultish.

I guess it was back when I was 24 and working as a photographer. A new girl came out from another studio as a substitute during a coworker's vacation. Met her briefly on Sunday night, then showed up to work the next day... she'd worn only a teddy under her dress so she could easily, um, unsheath her breasts to get my attention. It worked. For the rest of that week it was work all day, then play all night. Damn near died of dehydration and exhaustion. And never heard from nor of her ever again. Kind of perfect, really.

I don't quite understand what this means. What exactly are you implying?

page 1, about halfway down

Whatever. I think you rely too much on all this nicey nicey crap. They obviously don't teach you how to deal with things realistically at that church you go to.

Realistically? Tell me what reality is then.

Reality is people suck. Some suck dick. Some suck pussy. But they all suck. I'm sure we all know this but we deal with it differently. I feel awful that you would let someone like that affect you and affect you that long. I'm not saying you should be an asshole to people, I'm just saying that at your age (we are similar in age, right?), you should be as jaded as I am. Fuck everyone I tell ya.

Yeah, I fall into that trap a lot also. edit: accepting people for who they are and not wanting them to change is really fucking hard sometimes, but it pays off when you do.

oh if we're talking about negative relationships, 5 years... and i finally cut off all the bullshit.

i haven't been in a relationship in 5 years, fuck that!

<--- scared of committment.

It depends what you're accepting them for...for being a different race, gay, etc. or for being someone who puts you down, someone who's always making you wait, etc.

I tend to be very tolerant of one's race, nationality, etc., but I will never ever tolerate the way someone treats me. I tend to not give people second chances because of things they do or say so I guess I may not be the right person to discuss this with...