Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!

Kingfish · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:19 pm

Elvis Fu Wrote:

Josh Booty. Nice.

You could have also thrown in:
O, Golden Meadows! Your Entrepreneurial Police Dept. is Rivaled Only by the Most Unscrupulous Tijunana Gendarme!

Even nicer.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:22 pm

I want to do this, but I'm at work.

Dick Meatwood · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:23 pm

Yail Bloor Wrote:

2. Frankly my dear, I have no interest in looking both ways before I cross the street, traffic be damned.

HAHA. yes.

Also:

9. I believe that God created the universe, but Cobb County is proof of de-evolution.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:25 pm

Yail Bloor Wrote:

Since there are a good bit of Georgians we can probably all contribute a couple and knock some of mine out:

1. I used to buy dime bags on a street behind Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium where Henry Aaron broke the white-devil Babe Ruth's homerun record that were so big that they had to staple them shut.

2. Frankly my dear, I have no interest in looking both ways before I cross the street, traffic be damned.

3. Terminus, the city too inconsequential to not change its name....

4. If you came back from the past in a time machine and thought that you were in the state capital but only found the state mental hospital, well, you'd be in Milledgeville again.

5. The dyed Green Savannah River and the dyed Green Savannah beer taste alike after 15 or 16.

6. Existing on a diet of Varsity chili dogs, onion rings, and orange drinks and sell my offal to Exxon.

7. Ty Cobb - The Georgia Peach(South Carolina grows more peaches)----An orchestra in 43 parts

8. A lot of famous people who allegedly invented rock'n'roll were born in Macon and the roads are really slippery there too if you are riding your Harley in the rain and Cher and your brother bought a house down by Mercer.

9. The Black Crows... too hard to handle? An in-depth examination on truth in advertising.

10. Get back to your nailgun and don't ask questions like "senior, do I get benefits now, por favor?" "No" is conveniently pronounced the same way in spanish.

11. Sure, REM and the B52's, ok fine, but what has Athens done for us lately?

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:39 pm

oldbulee Wrote:

13. Oh Josh Booty what have you done?

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:40 pm

Drinky Wrote:

9. I believe that God created the universe, but Cobb County is proof of de-evolution.

Also known by its working title of "Bob Barr's Rakum Shmakum Jug-Band Blues"

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:27 pm

13. This Is Joe Frank Harris: It's Unlawful In The State of Georgia To Give Cough Syrup To A Shetland Pony----Even If He Is A Little Horse

paladisiac · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:46 pm

Move to Colorado: Fresh Air and Fond Memories Served Daily!

01 Living on the edge of a giant rectangle OR how i died melodramatically on the four corners

02 God looks over us all from the top of Mt. Elbert OR it's a long, winding road to Steamboat Springs!

03 i miss john denver like i miss my ole horse ranch OR there's a steep, sentimental slope in every heart!

04 Filming a leaf drop from the top of the Royal Gorge suspension bridge over the arkansas river OR i'm not afraid of heights or widths as much as i'm afraid of depths

05 Everyone in Boulder does the hippie, hippie shake!

06 A moment to reflect on the lack of rain that sparkles in your eyes upon the dusk of another resounding rockies defeat

07 No native americans pow wow in Pueblo anymore OR life as desolate as a Mesa Verde cliff wall

08 All train tracks cut through the center of the land: yes, General William Jackson Palmer's dreams came true!

09 i packed my skis and i aim to please but an ill-timed sneeze could wrap my body around a few trees! OR Salvatore "Sonny" Bono's a responsible man just looking for a good time

10 Sure, my SUV has average gas mileage and puts a fuel-drenched stain on my wallet, but people sure know i'm not only a man but a MAN's man OR when traffic sucks, drive through the shoulder, off the road, into the median gulley, and plod a highway U-turn back the way you came!

11 Fort Collins, can i hear an AMEN?! OR the US border flows straight into Taco John's

12 The man who FINALLY helped bring a couple Lombardi's to the mile high city after 4 near-resounding superbowl embarrasments OR John Elway's now divorced, living a stud bachelor life pickin' up the dames with his own car dealership and restaurant in the glitzy cherry creek shopping district

13 Non-potable water in use! Drink at your own risk! We are green, only envious of ourselves!

14 A technological marvel! A dream of the skies! An artistic masterpiece! OR DIA sometimes becomes completely DOD

15 Beware of low-flying satellites! OR we took our family for a picnic in the park with the gated lake and stared due south for inspiration

16 If you live in the city, eat your steak and omelets, if you live in the country, keep your Sundays open OR torn between Californians' growing arm pit hair and the Texas two step!

17 All alone holding a backpack over my head as a curious mountain lion approaches OR helicopters touring in the sky only report on road rage

18 That ominipotent, big blue laser burning out the back of my retinas OR Qwest, ride the light all the way to Seattle, and back again!

19 Hickenlooper! Hickenlooper! What a name! Hickenlooper!

20 Fit as a fiddle with no fat in the middle! OR my obsession's right for me but might make some young girls anorexic!

21 Frontiering a journey from ocean to the great divide, i can see it all and all is not clear to me. Behold! Beauty's in your eyes! Drink from the river! Breathe in the fresh air! It is yours! OR never forget your floventil, sunblock spf 50 and jug of evian

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

Pennsylvania

1. "Betsy Ross Didn't Do Shit"
2. "Building a Manmade Lake on Top of a Mountain Because we are Extremely Rich and Stupid and Like Drowning Poor People"
3. "General Mad Anthony Wayne Sleeps Around"
4. "Abandoned Flaming Town"
5. "What Does my Crap Taste Like, G Love?"
6. "My Crazy Pal Santorum"
7. "The Please Touch Museum...In My Pants"
8. "We Got Quarterbacks"
9. "The Day the Monkey House Caught on Fire"
10. "Taking Acid and Going to Hershey Park Seemed Much Better On Paper"
11. "The Gravesite of the Most Annoying Person in History"
12. "Pinkertons' Slaughter Interlude"
13. "Fuck You, Santa!"
14. "Gettysburg: Ghost-ridden"
15. "AIRN CITY!"
16. "Go To Hell, Kevin Bacon. Seriously."
17. "Yes, We Bombed Our Own City"

Promethium · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:59 pm

I have no idea what the title of the Nebraska album will be, it will probably deal with flat land and corn.
I'm not creative enough to come up with song names but the tracks should be about:
1. Badlands, Charles Starkweather
2. Marlon Brando
3. Malcolm X
4. Carhenge in Alliance, NE
5. Kool Aid, which was invented in Hastings
6. William Jennings Bryan
7. Swanson's TV Dinner
8. Dorthy Lynch Salad Dressing made in Columbus
9. George Norris
10. Boys Town
11. Mutual of Omaha
12. Union Pacific Railroad
13. Johnny Carson, from my hometown Norfolk
14. Soon to be Governor and former football coach Tom Osborne
15. Chief Standing Bear
16. General Pershing

Promethium · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:59 pm

The Nebraska Unicameral should be a track too.

d · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:47 pm

rparis74 Wrote:

Sufjan Stevens presents: Oregon, the old hippie that lives in California's attic

1. The national finals of hackee sack and ultimate frisbee - live from Eugene
2. Fire in the trailer park (meth-cooking directions used metric measurements)
3. At Mary's Club with Chuck Palahniuk
4. I saw DB Cooper at the Medford Target
5. Hawthorne (How many lesbian book stores can one town have?)
6. PBR and white belts - let's start an indie band
7. "What part of California are you from?"
8. The Vegan Suicides
9. Hey Groening! I used to live on Flanders Street. Lovejoy too!
10. On the Beach (Goddamn its cold, isn't it July?)
11. Bill Walton's Beard

You left out:

12. Bob Packwood Once Fondled Me Too
13. Growing Up in Clackamas County with Tonya Harding.. Where Trash Can Lid Throwing is an Art
14. Stoned at the Country Fair (or Passing Out with New "Friends" Made at Mt. Angel Oktoberfest)
15. Portland.... We Ignore Vancouver, WA as Much as Possible

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:52 pm

Adding to Georgia:

15. We made 25 black guys millionaires through airport graft, but still flew the confedrate flag when we hosted the Olympics.

16. I Ain't wearin a damn ol seatbelt in my dam ol pick up truck (and you cannot even try to make. An ode to Speaker Tom Murphy, a man who has killed more people than Josef Stalin.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:56 pm

the state of Wisconsin Wrote:

16. I Ain't wearin a damn ol helmet in my dam ol noggin when I'm ridin my 900-lb Harley, and you cannot even try to make me, cuz Harleys are made here, and makin people wear helmets means the terrorists have already won.

edit: y'also cain't make me wear a shirt on there, neither, you goddam commy bastard. Let freedom ring!!

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:00 pm

Cotton Wrote:

Pennsylvania

5. "What Does my Crap Taste Like, G Love?"
6. "My Crazy Pal Santorum"

It probably tastes like santorum.

seamonster · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:46 pm

Another of the Great Lakes States: Minnesota

1. Hail, Minnesota! Hail, Rain, Tornadoes, et al, But Mostly Snow and Ice.
2. Oh Yeah, You Betcha, That There Mall of America Brings Us a Certain Cosmopolitan Je Ne Sais Quoi
3. The Conjoined Twin Cities *or* We Share a Self-Esteem Issue Re: How We Are Perceived On The Coasts
4. Were It Up To Us, President Mondale Would Have Defeated the Evil Empire
5. Hotdish: The Cornflakes Versus French Fried Onion Wars
6. The Replacement Prince of the Soul Asylum Called Up Bob Dylan To Ask, “What are you gonna Du? I feel so Low..”
7. Ice Fishing and Deer Hunting *or* The Excuses Men Give to Drink in the Wild Amongst Themselves
8. Mary Tyler Moore *or* Less
9. It Could Be Assumed That the Non-Natives Would Identify the Mosquito, Not the Loon, As the State Bird
10. To Our Brothers to the North: Wish You Were Here in Baja Ontario
11. Since When Does Los Angeles Have Lakes? *or* The Verdict Was Clear When Our Hockey Team Dropped “North” From Their Name
12. Little House on the Prairie Home Companion
13. An Ode to Spam and Post-It Notes, Our Most Famous Contributions to Mass Culture
14. You Can’t Get There From Here: Eternal Winter Interrupted by Road Construction Again
15. 10,000 Lakes Including Some of Which Thaw

Sex, Drugs, and Dave · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:13 pm

Sen. Grand Wizard LooGAR Wrote:

Adding to Georgia:

15. We made 25 black guys millionaires through airport graft, but still flew the confedrate flag when we hosted the Olympics.

16. I Ain't wearin a damn ol seatbelt in my dam ol pick up truck (and you cannot even try to make. An ode to Speaker Tom Murphy, a man who has killed more people than Josef Stalin.

17. Does anyone know of any HOUSEWIVES IN MARIETTA that would sell me some valium?

18. Cracklins in my cornbread

19. Buckhead, why the fuck would you want to go there tonight?

20. Whose brilliant idea was this? "hey, let's name 30 streets Peachtree"

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:18 pm

19. Buckhead, why the fuck would you want to go there tonight? OR Let's pay $8 for our heinekins tonight.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:21 pm

Death To Shoegaze666 Wrote:

20. Whose brilliant idea was this? "hey, let's name 30 streets Peachtree"

Or..A Rat Maze With No Cheese At The End---Telling Someone That You Live On Peachtree.....

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:36 pm

I bet Bloor can best me at a Wayne Williams titel..but here's mine:

Child Rape and Murder..Let's pin a bunch of these on Wayne Williams, even though we have no evidence...Or The City Too Busy to Hate will always hate Them.

John Lewis got his head cracked opn on a bridge in Alabama, and now he is a Congressman from Atlanta...see how much progress we have made OR Cynthia McKinney has bug eyes, and Arabs love her, Jews hate her and I hate em all.

south pacific · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:00 pm

This is thread of the year material.

Great posts by everyone, I laughed and cried then bought the soundtrack on my way out of the theatre.

HideousLump · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:21 pm

Vanlandingham totally beat me to it, but...

From the 6-disc box set If Mississippi Leant Missouri her New Jersey, What Would Delaware? Idaho, Alaska! here's New Jersey:

1. Washington Slept Here…and Here…and Here…and Here. He Got Around!
2. Skeeball--Redeem Your Tickets and Souls Here
3. From Continental Airline's Majestic Arena to PNC Bank's Centrally-Located Arts Center, We Support the Arts!
4. Dutch Schultz Honestly Can't Recommend the Palace Chop House
5. Welcome to Bound Brook. Enjoy the Cancer!
6. Ong's Hat, Multi-Dimensional Time Portal of the Pine Barrens
7. Ho Ho Ho-Ho-Kus!
8. Why Was the Pulaski Skyway Named After a Polack? It Was Supposed to Be a Tunnel
9. It's Hook-Shaped and It's Sandy--Say, I've Got a Thought . . .
10. Of The Creatures in the Rocket Cylinder at Grovers Mill, I Can Give You No Authoritative Information
11. This Saturday at Club Bene in South Amboy--"The Doors Show" with Crystal Ship!
12. Our State Seashell Is the Knobbed Whelk, Said the Waving Man on the Dock
13. Burning Tires, Boiled Skunks, and a Soupçon of Ass (The Turnpike Song)
14. I Caught Edison's Dying Breath in a Mason Jar, and Isn't It a Nice Day Today?
15. Over the Bridge and Through the Tunnel to Dance Badly We Will Go
16. Meet Me at the Diner Next to the Other Diner, For We Have Smoked and Must Have Waffles

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:53 pm

01. Maryland, My Maryland! Your Stately Anthem Copied Note for Note from "O, Tannenbaum" and Mixed With the Cartoon Violence of "La Marseillaise"
02. Pardon Me Sir, But How In The Name Of God Do You Prounounce Havre de Grace?
03. Don't Come Crying To Me Because You Had Two Fingers Bitten Off While Trying To Pet Wild Horses At Assateague
04. Oohh!! Nettles!!
05. I Saw Where Kunta Kinte Was Sold And All I Got Was An Ice Cream Cone From Storm Brothers And A T-Shirt That Says "Argh, Let Me See Your Booty"
05. Shoppers of Laurel Mall, Meet Artie Bremer and George Wallace
06. Oh Shit, Friendly. Or I Think We Should Have Turned Around Back At Andrews AFB
07. Kobayashi Ain't Got Nothin' On Art Donovan
08. Fred Ripken, Iron Man of Motorcycle Repair or At Least My Wife Didn't Fuck Kevin Costner
09. Hometown Of Kathy Lee Gifford And A Sniper Victim. Enjoy Your Stay In Bowie
10. Men of Fighting Age, Gather Your Arms And Fight For Your State's Rights Against the Aggressors!!! What's That? Lincoln Put Cannons On Federal Hill And Pointed Them At Downtown Baltimore?
11. Hollywood And Divine
12. Crack The Sky Is Still Playing Shows, Who Knew?
13. Come On In, Fellas!! Seventeen Years Is Plenty Old Enough To See A Haggard Junkie Get Naked And Beg For Tips While You Sip Lukewarm Canned Beer!!
14. Eddie Gaedel, Exploding Scoreboards and Larry Doby, Not Without Bill Veeck
15. Hancock: Gateway To West Virginia And Southern PA
16. O, Frank Perdue! Without Your Mafia Connections, How Could You Have Shared Your Deliciously Tender Chickens With The World?

paper · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:11 pm

[quote="Cotton"]Pennsylvania

1. "Betsy Ross Didn't Do Shit"
quote]

lol

puma · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:12 pm

HAHAHA, this is fuckin great!!!!

i don't know if it would be as funny if i did one for la ... but i'mma try to do this later. unless someone beats me to it.

Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!

Who is online