OPA has made the playoffs, and League 1 is wide open with only jericho and Billz out of the picture. Some slighly more expanded stats this week (FYI, "targets" are the number of times a receiver is thrown the ball during a game). I will get League 2 commentaries done later this week. Sorry about that. Work has actually been busy. Fancy that.
League 1
Knights Who Say Ni 67.22
the andalusian dawgs 100.24
Things had been looking good for coach Sketch the past few weeks. Front office moves have strengthened his team despite a very tough loss last week. The ride, though, may be over sooner than anyone expected. Mushin Muhammad (2-52 receiving on 4 targets) has come back to earth. Meanwhile, draft surprises like Warrick Dunn (11-59 rushing, 3-22 receiving, 4 targets) aren't performing as well as they were earlier in the season. "Yeah, we've hit rough spots all year, and buffalo got lucky... that's right I said LUCKY... so yeah, we still have a playoff spot and are still in control. Let's see what we can do." While, coach Sketch did sound a little. The giant-killing dawgs couldn't have won this game without the highest scoring game in NFL history. Carson Palmer (22-29-251, 4 TD, 3 Int, 2-10 rushing) and Rudi Johnson (26-202 rushing, 2 TD, 1-5 receiving on 2 targets) came up big against the Browns, and coach buffalo saw all the benefit. They won't be able to pull this off everyday, and they'll need to work harder in order to get a playoff spot in two weeks. "Don't count us out. Never count us out. The dancing Nugenes at the halftime show made all the difference this week. Rudi loves that shit," commented coach buffalo.
El Nacho de Muerte 122.90
Fast-Paced Ruralites 85.78
Going into this game, this looked like coach Husker's game to lose, and lost it he did. Granted, special skill wonders Michael Vick (16-29-212, 2 TD, 1 INT, 10-69 rushing, 1 TD) and LaDanian Tomlinson (LaDainian Tomlinson (21-46 rushing, 2 TDs, 10-57 receiving on 12 targets) performed well for the Ruralities, but the team performance was slightly lower than average. Normally, that's not much of a problem as coach Husker is the total points leader, but coach Nacho brought his A+ game. Even he was amazed at his team's outstanding performance: "I can't believe I actually started the dudes on my team who scored points this week. Normally I keep them on the bench. It's not a very good strategy." Yes, he started Alge Crumpler (4-103 receiving. 1 TD on 7 targets) who scored points. Corey Dillon (30-123, 1 TD rushing, 0-0 receiving on 1 target) got into the mix as well. A playoff run is going to be tough for El Nacho, but it can happen especially since it has the point tiebreaker against the Knights and schadenfreude.
Smokin' With Ricky 50.36
Schadenfreude 84.52
Well, it looks like the indoor smoking policy could use a revision in the Billz camp. Coach Gibbs' glaucoma doesn't seem to be improving in the slighest, and there wasn't much to speak of outside some good performances from Fred Taylor (22-147 rushing, 1-13 receiving on 3 targets) and Donovan McNabb (18-27-244, 1 TD, 1 Fumble lost, 5-30, 1 TD rushing). "Dude, that's cool man... we've got all off-season to chill. Besides, we play teams that actually care... that should be funny... heh..." Things in Germany, however, are looking much more sobering. Marvin Harrison (12-127 receiving on 16 targets, 3 TD) led the shameful joy squad to a victory and a .500 record. Rod Smith (2-99 receiving on 7 targets, 1 TD) also contributed to the receiving corps' performances. Coach Joy has worked himself from the roughest of starts to a pretty favorable position. Winning out will put him right in the middle of the playoff picture. Kudos (and a belated happy Oktoberfest) to the Schadenfreude.
elephantstoners 100.24
The Mendoza Line 96.46
This one came down to the wire. Each team had a wide receiver to play going into Monday, and Donald Driver (6-85 receiving, 1 TD on 9 targets) emerged victorious for coach j. It goes without saying that League MVP candidate Peyton Manning (23-28-236, 6 TD, 1-4 rushing) was essential for not only the victory but an excellent team performance. coach j's championship poise showed in the postgame conference "Yeah, we're on a good streak right now. If we can keep it going, we'll be fine. We're in a playoff spot right now, and we just need to hold onto it. Win, and we're in. It's that simple. Let's do it!" Unfortunately for the Mendoza Line has established its namesake in terms of mediocrity. With this loss, coach jehrico is out of the playoff race despite an outstanding running attack all season. With Ahman Green sitting out, Michael Pittman (18-29 rushing, 8-134 receiving on 12 targets, 2 TD's, 2 lost fumbles) and D. Davis (16-129 TD rushing, 7-52 receiving on 8 targets) led the way for one of the season's better losing team performances. While this loss is no doubt frustrating for the Mendoza Line, coach jericho can find always find that silver lining. "You remember the original league with crazy return yardage points. I'm 11-1 there and leading total points my a mile. It's mine, bitches. Oh, yeah, Spade and Sketch have playoff bids too, but who cares about them?"
Silver Hammers 82.20
Team Pinoy 113.10
Yes, a 6-1 team has lost five in a row. You want streaks? Coach Max sure as hell doesn't. "I don't believe this. I mean, we didn't play poorly, but we got creamed! Nothing is working right for us except maybe the running game." Credit to backups Derrick Blaylock (8-57 rushing, 2 TD, 3-21 receiving on 5 targets) and Nick Goings (23-106 rushing, 3-17 receiving on 4 targets) for their contribution to the Hammers effort. All is not lost for Coach Max, he's still in the thick of the playoff race but will need some help over the next few weeks to get things done. Meanwhile, coach cthulu is en fuego. Even Shayne Graham (7-7 XP, 3-3 FG) got into the mix. The Team Pinoy effort, led largely by Brian Westbrook Westbrook (18-74, 1 TD rushing, 5-53, 1 TD receiving on 6 targets), was extremely impressive and enough to give them a share of the league led and striking distance of the total points crown. Things are looking good for cthulu and company...
League 2
The Round Table 110.16
The Keppersofts v2.0 97.32
Table: James(23-105 rushing, 3-16 receiving on 3 targets) , Pats D (3 points allowed, 4 sackes, 2 turnovers, 1 TD)
Keppersofts: Brees (28-37-378-2-0, 8-23 rushing), Bruce (9-170 receiving, 1 TD on 18 targets, 2 fumbles lost)
timmyjoe42er's 82.20
thorax embalmers 89.40
timmyjoe: Culpepper (19-27, 235 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, 8-18 rushing, 1 TD), Bettis (31-100, 1 TD rushing, 1-20 receiving on 1 target)
thorax: Favre (18-27-215, 3 TD, 2 INT, 2-5 rushing) , C Johnson (10-117, 1 TD receiving on 13 targets, 1-9 rushing)
TheCrazy88 69.64
POstMershian Invader 70.88
Crazy88: Gates (7-92 receiving, 2 TDs, 13 targets), Horn (9-101 receiving on 12 targets, 1 TD)
Postmersh: A. Green (0-0 rushing, 0-0 receiving on 0 targets), E Smith (3-21 rushing)
Phat Ass Nutsack 111.12
The Unbaited Vicars 67.62
Sack: McGahee (28-116 rushing, 4 TDs, 2-26 receiving on 4 targets), Bulger (35-53-448, 2 TD, 1 INT, 1-5 rushing)
Vicars: Portis (6-17 rushing, 1-0 receiving on 2 targets), Owens (4-61 receiving on 9 targets)
McNabb's Nads 113.44
The Yoko Ono's 85.28
Nads: Wayne (3-37 receiving on 5 targets, 1-minus 4 rushing), Stokley (5-57 receiving on 5 targets, 3 TD)
Yoko: McNair (25-34-227, 3 TD, 1 INT, 3-24 rushing, 2 fumbles lost) , D. Jackson (4-45 receiving on 11 targets)
Code:
League 1
1 Fast-Paced Ruralites 8-4-0 .667 1079.10 L-1
2 Team Pinoy 8-4-0 .667 1004.38 W-3
3 elephantstoners 7-5-0 .583 987.88 W-2
4 Knights Who Say Ni 7-5-0 .583 909.84 L-2
5 Silver Hammers 6-6-0 .500 961.90 L-5
6 Schadenfreude 6-6-0 .500 897.38 W-2
7 El Nacho de Muerte 5-7-0 .417 933.56 W-1
8 the andalusian dawgs 5-7-0 .417 805.90 W-1
9 The Mendoza Line 4-8-0 .333 923.46 L-5
10 Smokin' With Ricky 4-8-0 .333 846.06 L-1
League 2
1* The Round Table 10-2-0 .833 1091.32 W-4
2* McNabb's Nads 9-3-0 .750 988.68 W-3
3 POstMershian Invader 7-5-0 .583 979.14 W-1
4 Phat Ass Nutsack 6-6-0 .500 970.84 W-1
5 timmyjoe42er's 5-7-0 .417 973.02 L-3
6 The Unbaited Vicars 5-7-0 .417 962.10 L-2
7 TheCrazy88 5-7-0 .417 876.76 L-1
8 The Yoko Ono's 5-7-0 .417 865.42 L-1
9 The Keppersofts v2.0 4-8-0 .333 921.04 L-1
10 thorax embalmers 4-8-0 .333 917.64 W-1
* = clinched playoff spot
Week 12 All-Stars:
QB: Peyton Manning
RB: Willis McGahee, Rudi Johnson
WR: Jerry Porter, Marvin Harrison, Antonio Bryant
K: Shayne Graham
DEF: Green Bay
Season All-Stars
QB: Peyton Manning
RB: Tiki Barber, Shaun Alexander
WR: Terrell Owens, Javon Walker, Marvin Harrison
K: Adam Vinatieri
DEF: Baltimore
