i've got this one guy on the periphery of my friendship sphere and i hear that he's a bit hurt that i'm not inviting him to my bachelor party. i have deflected the responsibility to the best man. of course, next time i see this guy it may be awkward. am i going to have to break up with this guy? i don't see why i have to deal with this shit.

also, am i allowed a tug job next saturday? where's the line on that?

as long as she doesn't swallow, it aint cheatin'.

Is he going to be invited to your wedding? If yes, you should think about inviting him to the BP. If not, forget him.

Steve

I think every man should have one last fling before the wedding. But never cheats during the marraige of course.

I've seen everything from heavy rubbing outside of the clothes to full on penetration (okay, I didnt see that---it was more about awareness)

My rule is to do whatever you are comfortable with and whatever you can count on your mates to keep secret. Nobody needs their wedding day ruined.

As for your friend: Fuck it, where your heading you want be needing any friends.

Is your fianceé allowed to give her stripper a tug job?
Can he finger her?

The line should be the same for both.

TEH Elemental Corollary to the "Schwarzenagger Principle".

well yeah, he is, but shit there's over a hundred people invited to this thing. how many people are supposed to be in the roving destruction party, 5? 6?

Your wife must read the board over your shoulder.

settle down, flanders.

I prefer a solid 10. Not so many that you cant dominate a big table but not so few that your boys cant grab you and fight their way out of a bad spot.

Chase, I still haven't got my invite yet. I'm hurt.

wow, that's an interesting perspective. i don't really have, want, or have the capacity to have, that many friends, period.

my bachelor party is on friday

I must admit, this made my day.

that's what i do to the people i love, tim. i thought for sure someone would have told you that already.

Good point. I organized my buddy's bachelor party last year and it was like 30 guys (his wish, not mine) and that was a bit unwieldly....but fun as hell.

We were in Atlantic City and were going to do the cliched ball & chain thing on his leg, but my buddy is black and ALL the other guys are white and I started thinkin' how it would appear to have a black guy with chains on surrounded by a bunch of white guys goofing on him.

Shit, we would have made the papers the next day over a "racial incident"

Sharpton'd be marching on my ass.

Steve

No.
But my attitude may explain why I am celebrating my 8-year wedding anniversary today, as opposed to suffering through divorce proceedings like some of my friends have.

And why my wife actually trusts me.

well i feel much better now.

Bachelor party etiquette requires you to pee in - not on - the butt.

Are most of your buddies single, Chris? Because if they're married that shit going to get out. One guy tells his wife, who tells another.....

Steve

But are you happy? All signs point to a mid-life crisis. Just sayin'.

I didn't get that invite either.
I'm noticing a trend...

Not as many are single as there used to be. My crew is pretty tight lipped.

Plus very rarely do these things get toooo out of control and most guys wives at least tacitly approve of some form of shenanigans.