Hey Hey, don't blame your bi-curiosity on me. And don't flatter yourself, my cheap thrills come via the dildo these days.

I think I should get completely shitfaced and belligerently throw that into the toast.

Best toast I ever heard:

May the worst of your tomorrows be better than the best of your yesterdays.

That's a good ending, now all you have to do is work up to it.

May I suggest a small anecdote about one of the worst of his, hers, or theirs worst yesterdays (but don't get too dark -- make sure they look good in said anecdote).

Also, don't say, "I never got along with (bride's name), but she really turned me around when she did such-n-such." Just say, "(bride's name) really impressed me when she did such-n-such."

Ideal amount to drink is 4 drinks before.

Tip:

Don't come off like a total pussy. Be sincere and sentimental enough that it will impress some lady enough for her to let you knock it through the 5 hole. But if you totally emasculate yourself in the speech you are fucked (or lack there of)

DC, it's a nice line, but really cliche. Maybe you just by chance hadn't heard it before, but it's really overused.

Steve

Sound advice from probably the most hen-pecked Buster that I have EVER met.

I actually wouldn't recommend any drinks before the toast unless you really need a few to work up your courage.

My toast went over so well that my wife immediately grabbed me to dance. Her way of letting the ladies know the only 5 hole I'd be knockin' it in would be hers.

Steve

The only issue i was henpecked about was the bag. If I am the most hen pecked "buster" you have ever met then you have few married friends (not counting those in dat trailer park you call home.)

No, I understand that it's cliche'. But it's all in the delivery. If you change your tone so that people know you are Delivering A Toast, and you deliver it with sincerity, I still think it's nice. I mean, people still say "Salut" and "Nasdarovya", don't they?