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 Post subject: more shit that i don't understand
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:30 pm 
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frostingspoon
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my money = our money
her money = her money

granted i make a lot more than she does, and granted i knew that this was coming, but seriously what logic goes through her head to think that MAYBE if she doesn't mention the rent that i'll be so impressed by her new shoes/jeans/dress/tank tops that i'll just go ahead and pay it for fun? i mean really?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:32 pm 
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damn dude, you've got a lot of relationship questions/comments.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:37 pm 
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Garage Band
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Yeah, if you can't handle a joint checking account then there may be a problem.

Of course, this comes from a guy who keeps a "work" account under the guise of "I need to keep expenses separate"


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:38 pm 
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frostingspoon

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ha. my wife and I keep our account separate but pretty much pay our bills based on the % of total income we make. That means she pays 2/3rds of the bills and I pay 1/3rd. Things have worked out so far...she is a lot more conservative with money than I am but I haven't pissed her off too much. i do need to be more careful - we have to save a lot of money for our trip next summer - we will see if I can save any cash other than selling stocks and bonuses..doubtful.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:39 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Gordo Wrote:
Yeah, if you can't handle a joint checking account then there may be a problem.
i'm not looking for "my money=my money", there's enough money for what we need, what i'm more looking for is "her money=our money".


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:39 pm 
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i think she was used to you being blackout drunk enough most of the time that you don't remember paying for shit in the morning. oh, and also it's her way of showing you how proud she is of your new job.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:41 pm 
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Post-Breakup Solo Project
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I would just sit her down and have a civil conversation about it. I know if I was in the situation and my boyfriend told me that we should share rent i'd think it was completely fair.

Luckily I don't have to worry about paying for things such as that yet.. My worries are who is going to pay for my taco at taco bell? or do I owe you any gas money since you're my boyfriend? or who is paying for the movie tickets tonight? I think sharing is fair. As long as both parties participate, because if they didn't it definitely would not be considered sharing.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:41 pm 
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Whiskey Tango
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this is a subject that I am on the cusp of dealing with.....

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:42 pm 
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Garage Band
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Joey Crack Wrote:
Gordo Wrote:
Yeah, if you can't handle a joint checking account then there may be a problem.
i'm not looking for "my money=my money", there's enough money for what we need, what i'm more looking for is "her money=our money".


That's what I meant...I should have said "If SHE can't handle..." It's not fair if she gets to run out & spend her paycheck on fun shit while you feel guilty for buying CDs, etc.


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 Post subject: Re: more shit that i don't understand
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:44 pm 
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Joey Crack Wrote:
my money = our money
her money = her money


That's not good. I never understood this mentality that a lot of women have. Once you start putting labels on who's money you're spending, etc., the relationship becomes a bit superficial, IMO. When you're married, all money should be spent together and each partner should feel free to spend it, well, freely.

:D


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 Post subject: Re: more shit that i don't understand
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:58 pm 
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Joey Crack Wrote:
my money = our money
her money = her money

granted i make a lot more than she does, and granted i knew that this was coming, but seriously what logic goes through her head to think that MAYBE if she doesn't mention the rent that i'll be so impressed by her new shoes/jeans/dress/tank tops that i'll just go ahead and pay it for fun? i mean really?


Haha, welcome to the wonderful world of "wha?"
All I can tell you is.. you need to lay the groundrules now.. people might get upset and all.. but I will tell you what.. if you dont lay them now.. you wont ever get them laid...

yes I know, exactly.


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 Post subject: Re: more shit that i don't understand
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:00 pm 
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Joey Crack Wrote:
my money = our money
her money = her money


RUN









AWAY!!!!!

what's mine is ours and what's yours is yours.
i was left virtually penniless.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:03 pm 
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Worldwide Phenomenon
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if my wife and i had seperate money, i'd be homeless

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:04 pm 
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Fluke Breakthrough Single
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thrillhouse Wrote:
if my wife and i had seperate money, i'd be homeless


Id keep all my money at my mistress's


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:30 pm 
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Hipster Backlash

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I make a pretty good salary.
Nevertheless, my wife makes more than I do
Everyday financial stuff I take care of.
Investing is my dept. also
I will let her know about any major financial move I want to make and get her input about it.
She will ask me before she makes any substantial purchase
My money is hers. Her money is mine.
If ever we break up things could be fucked up, but unless you're going to go all the way with a pre-nup it's better if both of you get used to the word ours.

Steve


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 Post subject: Re: more shit that i don't understand
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:41 pm 
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ayah Wrote:
RUN









AWAY!!!!!


great pre-wedding advice, jerk. you owe me dinner and an open bar!

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Are you kidding? I have no talents. Nothing. I was very well educated to be an idiot. And I was a very good student.


Last edited by Cotton on Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:47 pm 
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If there's any doubt in yr mind, it will not get any better.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:59 pm 
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TEH MACHINE
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Best thing we ever did was pool our money, it eliminated the argument. Of course, she never spends a dime and I'm forever buying cds, dvds, booze, smokes etc so it worked out pretty well in my favour.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:05 pm 
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All my money goes into the joint account. If I wanna buy something, I buy it. No questions. If she wants something, she buys it. It works out very well.

I fucking HATE talking about money. IT's never fun. EVER! Which is why I never do. She handles the bills. Like I said, works out well.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:09 pm 
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Busty Rhodes Wrote:
All my money goes into the joint account. If I wanna buy something, I buy it. No questions. If she wants something, she buys it. It works out very well.

I fucking HATE talking about money. IT's never fun. EVER! Which is why I never do. She handles the bills. Like I said, works out well.


And that's exactly how it should be. It seems couples who argue about money have more issues than their finances.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:09 pm 
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I actually have a similar dilemma to Joey Crack.
I work full time, my girlfriend is still in school.
We moved in together in April once I got my tax refund check. I paid for most of our expenses until July due to the fact I was the only one with a paycheck and had saved up some cash. She finally got a job in July, which was actually about two months too late, but I never said a word.
I would say 90% of my money goes to pay bills and buy groceries, whereas now that she has money about 60% of her money goes to that. I rarely go out or go out to dinner unless she is coming with me, but she tends to hang out with friends once a week. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't occassionally nagging me about not being able to buy certain items for our apartment or being able to afford a trip/vacation.
What really killed me was when she told me she thought we could have afforded a weekend trip to KC if we wouldn't have went to three shows here in Lincoln that cost us less than $100 to see.

We maintain separate accounts still and probably will do so if we get married, since while I am not the most fiscally responsible individual, I don't get overdrawn like she does every so often and I'm not one to buy stuff and go shopping for no reason when money is tight.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:12 pm 
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fightingliberal Wrote:
I actually have a similar dilemma to Joey Crack.
I work full time, my girlfriend is still in school.
We moved in together in April once I got my tax refund check. I paid for most of our expenses until July due to the fact I was the only one with a paycheck and had saved up some cash. She finally got a job in July, which was actually about two months too late, but I never said a word.
I would say 90% of my money goes to pay bills and buy groceries, whereas now that she has money about 60% of her money goes to that. I rarely go out or go out to dinner unless she is coming with me, but she tends to hang out with friends once a week. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't occassionally nagging me about not being able to buy certain items for our apartment or being able to afford a trip/vacation.
What really killed me was when she told me she thought we could have afforded a weekend trip to KC if we wouldn't have went to three shows here in Lincoln that cost us less than $100 to see.

We maintain separate accounts still and probably will do so if we get married, since while I am not the most fiscally responsible individual, I don't get overdrawn like she does every so often and I'm not one to buy stuff and go shopping for no reason when money is tight.


This is recipe for disaster if you ever break up. I never understood straight people who "just live" together. Get married for God's sake.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:17 pm 
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OPA! Wrote:
This is recipe for disaster if you ever break up. I never understood straight people who "just live" together. Get married for God's sake.


What, so only faggots can live together now?

*shakes fist and jumps up and down* But I'm not ready to get married!!!

Plus I'd like to know what this person is like in a living situation, over time, where shit like $$$ comes up and not have that happen six months after somebody spends a gazillion dollars on a wedding.

And my gf is getting over on me, moneywise, right now.....

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:20 pm 
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Honestly, I don't really understand the seperate accounts when married thing. My wife and I just toss all money in the account and pay what we need. If we want to buy something big, we ask the other if they need the money for anything first so we don't screw the other out of something they need to indulge a whim or something.

Getting obsessive about finances is a sure way to ruin a relationship. More couples argue about money than just about anything else...except maybe screwing around.

Then again, maybe if I actually had finances to speak of, I'd feel differently. Still, I just can't imagine wanting to share my life with someone I couldn't trust with my money or had to hide pourchases from or some other crap like that.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:23 pm 
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Yail Bloor Wrote:
OPA! Wrote:
This is recipe for disaster if you ever break up. I never understood straight people who "just live" together. Get married for God's sake.


What, so only faggots can live together now?

*shakes fist and jumps up and down* But I'm not ready to get married!!!

Plus I'd like to know what this person is like in a living situation, over time, where shit like $$$ comes up and not have that happen six months after somebody spends a gazillion dollars on a wedding.

And my gf is getting over on me, moneywise, right now.....


LOL...I don't mean it as an insult. I was just brought up in a household where you don't really leave home until you get married. It's really big in Greek culture so this whole living together thing is a bit odd to me. If you're gonna live together, why not just get married?


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