|
Well, this week it looks like any stat correction shouldn't affect any outcomes, expect possibly ONE. *sigh*
timmyjoe42er's 71.90
Knights Who Say Ni 71.33
This may be a low point in coach Sketch's career "I can't believe this. I lost to Timmy." It was a fair performance for the Knights as the running game both both consistency and depth. Michael Pittman (Rush: 30 - 0, Pass: 6 - 96 - 1) was a pleasant surprise from the bench. Recent pickup Tim Dwight (Rec: 2 - 41 - 1) would have also been a game-breaker had he started. Perhaps this could be a future bright spot for Sketch's receiving game. On the other side of the field, coach Timmy was elated with his first win but not for long: "Peyton, don't you ever crap out on me again. Ever. Do you hear me?!?!?!?!?" It was clear that Manning (Pass: 264 - 4 TD / 0 INT, Rush: 3 - 0) was back in form. That plus solid special teams play gave coach timmy the edge despite zero-point performances from his two Kevins: Faulk and Walker. Will the timmyjoe42ers be able to build on this momentum and possibly leave the cellar sometime this season?
Rex and the Jedi 73.73
elephantstoners 97.40
Coach Spade had another tough week, losing to far too consistent elephantstoner squad. It's hard to find any standouts for coach j, but the running game seems to be going full steam behind Warrick Dunn (Rush: 126 - 1, Rec: 1 - 7 - 0) and Edgerrin James (Rush: 90 - 0, Rec: 2 - 12 - 1). The big win puts him at 3-1 and moving up to third in the standing. Rex and the Jedi seem to be headed in a different direction. After a promising 2-0 start, they suffer their second consecutive loss despite solid efforts by Marc Bulger (Pass: 442 - 2 TD / 3 INT, Rush: 9 - 0, Rec: 1 - 1 - 0) and Priest Holmes (Rush: 84 - 1, Rec: 5 - 24). The loss takes them to the lower half of the standing near the bottom of the 2-2 crowd. "I dunno, maybe .500 is appropriate," taunted coach j. "Jedis are all about keeping the force in balance, right?"
Rocket Sauce 115.43
El Nacho de Muerte 74.83
If any 0-3 team were to beat any 3-0 team, this was going to be the matchup where it happened. Guess what? It did. Coach bitterbuffalo used the Cardinal combo of Josh Mcown (Pass: 385 - 2 TD / 0 INT, Rush: 32 - 0) and Anquan Boldin (Rush: 1 - 0, Rec: 8 - 116 - 1) to lead the way. The running game and special teams also contributed quite a bit to this game. Coach bitterbuffalo was so excited about is first win AND his lead in the total points race (!), he inked a deal with neo-hippie G. Love to pen a new song about the team having... well... sauce. "Yeah, everyone seems pleased that Love has moved on from that Coca-Cola fiasco," remarked the coach. El Nacho fans should be moving on as well from this hard loss. There were certainly signs of life: Brandon Lloyd and an injured Bobby Engram both gained over 100 receiving yards each. The rest of the team didn't seem to be too enthused. Regardless, at second in the standings, coach Nacho is in a good spot. "We can't get too comfortable," warned the coach. "We've got to do our best week in and week out. Westbrook didn't show up today, and that hurt us pretty badly. We've got time, and we are in a good position."
The Sunlandic Twins 47.13
Gilead Gunslingers 102.07
As the Culpepper goes, so does Sunlandia. The quarterback (Pass: 250 - 1 TD / 2 INT, Rush: 10 - 0) assumed his early season form, and the rest of the team appeared to follow suit. If not for TJ Duckett's touchdown, the loss would have even been more embarrasing. Coach C-man was a loss for more as "fucking Daunte" was uttered more than once inbetween post-game questions. Gilead's locker room has a much different spirit thanks to a thorough team performance. 7 Gilead starters were in double digits and the best performance were on the bench! Once again, Eli Manning (Pass: 296 - 4 TD / 0 INT) and the Arizona defense (2 pts allowed, 5 sacks, 1 INT, 3 Fum Rec) showed they also know how to just win, baby! At 3-1, they are up there in the thick of things despite a modest season point total. Can they hang with the big boys?
The Grape Rush 56.10
Repeat Offenders 101.53
You want the big boys? Let's talk about Plaxico Burress (Rec: 10 - 204 - 2). Two of him could have beat the Grape Rush this week. Everyone else was OK at best, and that's all they needed to be. Defending champion Husker continues to be the resident league bully with a 3-1 record and respectable point total. The only respectable thing for coach Ripple and company was the performance of Donovan McNabb (Pass: 369 - 3 TD / 1 INT). The rookie coach is still getting some kinks out of his practice; he started a Randy McMichael on bye instead of Todd Heap (Rec: 4 - 39 - 0). "Well, it wouldn't have made much difference, would it?" sighed coach Ripple. "Yeah, we're a bit Dolphin-heavy, so I knew it was going to be a rough week. You gotta find depth wherever you can, and it's really tough right now." The performance has put the Grape Rush at the bottom of the 2-2 pack and made the rest of the league wonder just what this team is all about.
Sack of Worms 48.27
Max's Silver Hammers 79.37
Coach Max was hungry after last week point-shaving fiasco. He wanted a proper win badly, and his team delivered. Tiki Barber (Rush: 128 - 1, Rec: 2 - 15) made a glorious return, and Patrick Crayton made his lone catch count as a 63-yard touchdown. The Baltimore defense (3 points allowed, 5 sacks) also did their part to contribute. Those three performances alone were enough to beat coach jagged's boys, who certainly lived up to their name. "Hey, that's not fair. Nobody had a zero-point performance, which is better than half of the teams this week!" While the statement is technically correct, coach jagged left out the fact that all of his starters scored fewer than 10 points. Consistency is important, but it's nothing if the correct standard isn't set. The worms stay near the bottom of the pack, and coach Max hangs in the 35th percentile despite the season's lowest point total.
Lick my Lovepump 74.43
Execute Plan 9 58.30
Coach robotboy and have had the strangest season to date. Having tied last week due to the point-shaving controversy, they have become David to the previously-thought unstoppable force that was Plan 9. "That's what I do, gentlemen. I make the impossible possible," theorized the coach as he lit his victory cigar. "Let's go home, boys." It's safe to say that Terrell Owens (Rec: 11 - 171 - 1) won this game for the Pump though a few other skill performances certainly helped. On the other hand, coach Billz struggles with an injured Cadillic Williams, a missed opportunity in Steven Jackson (Rush: 17 - 1, Rec: 5 - 42 - 1) and a quaterback shuffle that's yielding no results. "Our... receiving... dudes are better than this, man. I hate losing... you know what I mean? It's like... worse than winning," babbled a pie-eyed coach Billz. Many member of the press noted how the post-game locker room smelled a bit herbal, possibly sage.
Bolsheviks in Space 66.00
3.2% Evil 92.70
Quarterbacks? Who needs a stinkin' quarterback? Certainly not coach Marco as LaDanian Tomlinson (Rush: 134 - 2, Rec: 3 - 34 - 0) and Eddie Kennison (Rush: 23 - 0, Rec: 7 - 109 - 1) make their mark once again. The win puts them at 2-2 and vying for a playoff position. Coach Marco was pleased with the results: "I mean, getting 100-plus with two of bye starters on bye would have been the king egg-on, but I'll certainly take this." Coach Lambchop finds himself in a much different position at 1-3 near the bottom of the standings. It was a hard game for him despite the emergence of Marvin Harrison (Rec: 9 - 109 - 2). Joe Horn didn't even touch the ball, and nobody else saw the end zone. While the return of Trent Dilfer might bode well (who thought I would ever say that?), the Russkies have their work cut out for them.
Schadenfreude 105.07
Andyfest 77.77
Coach Andy seems to have given up on the close game approach. He probably meant to win big instead of losing big, though. Golden boy Willie Parker was on bye, and he was pretty shallow at the RB position starting Frank Gore (Rush: 4 - 0, Rec: 2 - -12 - 0, 1 lost fumble). Larry Fitzgerald and Willis McGahee each had a touchdown and over 100 yards from scrimmage to help the cause, but Schadenfreude was just too much. Joey Galloway (Rec: 7 - 16 - 1) really stood out this week, and Neil Rackers (6-6 FGs, 1-1 PAT) is on pace to possibly be the first place kicker ever to be considered for an MVP award. "Foosball!!!" shouted an excitable coach Joy. Despite the one-sided of the matchup, both teams find themselves at 2-2 right in the middle of the pack.
The Mendoza Line 102.60
Greased-up Deaf Guys 89.77
What was hyped by many as the game of the week lived up to expectations. The Deaf Guys were ahead going into Monday night thanks to the power trio of receivers of Randy Moss, Torry Holt, and Jimmy Smith (total Rec: 16 - 316 - 2). Things were looking bleak for the Mendoza Line until Brett Favre (Pass: 303 - 4 TD / 1 INT, Rush: 12 - 0, 2 2PT conversions) showed up. "Yeah, Brett had a great game today. It almost makes up for his poor performances earlier this year. Almost," smirked coach jehrico. Donte Stallworth (Rec: 8 - 129 - 0) and Mewelde Moore (Rush: 57 - 0, Rec: 6 - 63) also helped out the Line, who are among the elite at 3-1. Doesn't look like they'll be letting up anytime soon, either.
Week 4 All-Stars
QB: Brett Favre
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, Lamont Jordan
WR: Plaxico Burress, Terrell Owens, Marvin Harrison, Joey Galloway
K: Neil Rackers
D: Arizona
Season All-Stars
QB: Donovan McNabb
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, Brian Westbrook
WR: Terrell Owens, Torry Holt, Joey Galloway, Plaxico Burress
K: Neil Rackers
D: Chicago
|
