to my friend who's dad just suddenly died of a heart attack, completely without warning ?

im not usually at a loss for words

something like this happened to my friend about two and a half months ago. her father fell from a ladder, onto his head, and passed away a few hours later.

i really had no idea of what to say, but that's really okay because honestly there's nothing you can say to rationalize the situation in that persons eyes... the best you can do is just be there for support, just hang out with them, keep their spirits high, listen to them talk or something. even if you don't talk about what happened in general you can atleast just be a good friend by being around making sure they are okay.

my mom passed away 2 years ago (2 years ago today, actually.)
and so i speak from experience.....
it doesn't matter what you say. just be there for them.
it'll mean a great deal to your friend.

sorry to hear this man.

I would just listen, you'll know if you need to say anything.

My dad died from a stroke in 1993 and the best thing that my friends did was just be there for me and not say much. There's nothing you can say that makes it easier. Just be there for your friend and listen. Your friend may not have much too say right now, but I'm sure he will eventually.

There is nothing you can say. I remember when my dad died, and all the cliche' phrases just hit me as so cliche', and the other ones struck me as trying too hard. Most memorable faux pas: "I hope at least the funeral was nice..." (realizes faux pas) "...you know, as far as funerals go..."

see. i knew the cliche things to say were cliche...however i was VERY aware of the fact that nobody knows what to say....and was just appreciative of the fact that they were trying.

things NOT to say:
my mom had this friend that i didn't like. my entire family didn't like her. hell, sometimes my mom didn't even like her.
AT THE FUNERAL this woman said to me... 'even though you've been less than friendly to me, if you ever need anything i am here for you.' (yeah, whatever, lady)

Yup. There is nothing you can say....Just be there.


I lost my mom almost 5 years ago....there are no words, but just family and friends being there was helpful. (well for a little bit at least)

What's your mom's number?

(couldn't resist)

I cant believe it took you 366 days on Obner to finally say something funny.

I must be rubbing off, despite the distance, old friend.

Sadly, my friends father passed away last night. I have no fucking idea of what to do. I mean, she has her best friend and her boyfriend, but as just simply a friend of hers I don't know what to do if I need to do anything. I'm definitely attending the funeral and everything. I want to be there for her in any way I can, but.. jesus.

Life is so fragile, somehow i'm retarded and i'm just noticing this, but really.. In the past few months two of my friends fathers died, and a guy from my school committed suicide Saturday night.

It's terrifying how easy it is to lose someone you love more than anything, family, friends, significant others, anyone.

sketch is right. sometimes being at a loss for words is a good thing.
"I have no idea how painful this must be, but you've got a lot of people here for you" or something. I usually just blurd out some monosyllabic nonsense and then do something awkward, but funny enough to make them laugh. at me.

From someone who lost two of his best friends over the past few years I'll say that being there really does matter, like everyone has said above. Also, the worst thing you can do is ignore that person because you think they don't want anyone around. To me, it meant a lot when people acknowledged what happened but didn't try too hard to show me how bad they felt for me.

Your friend knows you're sorry and don't know what to say, the best thing you can do (in my opinion) is see if they want to get a drink or do something once all of the funeral stuff has passed and be prepared to listen if they want to talk about it or have a topic to switch to if it's obvious they don't.