Worked over the weekend and 11 hours today. Decided to get a bottle of wine to unwind tonight. Not supposed to drink because of the allergies, but figured I could get away with blackberry merlot.

Dropped the bottle in the grocery store, tripped over the foot of the customer behind me, slipped in the puddled wine and broken glass, bumped my head on a shelf, and started two infants screeching. Managed to not cut myself. An old lady in line (probably 80) muttered "if you were just gonna waste the damn thing, you should've given it to me, asshole." The management requested that I pay for the bottle. No, says I, no that's not gonna happen. And I come home without wine, except for the stains on my pants and people there probably thought I was a drunk.

That, or get booze that's in plastic containers.

Or boxes.

Sounds like a rough night, Phil.

Hey, I can get around God's will that way. Awesome. Plastic really does improve your life.

Wow, that sucks. I hope you don't live in a small town where everyone knows your name.

I tell everyone I'm my brother Steve.

I get that all the time, but I try not to let it get me down.

*points and laughs*

I was "that guy" today. That one you always don't want to be but notice in public all the time.

i don't believe in god and drank an entire bottle of champagne by myself on saturday and another on sunday.
i'm jus' sayin'.

Yea seriously. Its in a pouch in a box, plus it has an easy pour spout.

Grandma called you an asshole

That's fucked up

last night i was bottling home brew for Christmas presents, and carrying the filled and capped bottles up to my closet for storage. the last trip, i got ambitious, and tried to pick up too many bottles, and i dropped the last bottle - 22 ounces of precious, freshly-bottled brown ale. it exploded, and sent shrapnel and sticky, sudsy ale across the kitchen that i spent 3 hours cleaning on saturday. world-class cussing ensued.

later in the evening, as i was boiling up another kettle (IPA this time) to set to ferment later in the evening, i ignored it for a minute, it boiled over and sent huge spumes of hop-laden foam all over the stove and counter.

So yesterday I mopped (twice!) and wept over spilt beer. But this weekend I will be cherishing the fruit of my yeasty endeavours.

Yeah, that'll be my mental t-shirt I'll dredge up every time I get near thinking I'm hot shit about something.

But Phil, the best part of this was when you told the store's management to go fuck themselves after they suggested you pay for the bottle.

At least that's how I'd remember it. You da man.


What did your wife say about it?

She's still at work, but called a few minutes ago and gave me wife crap like "well, you KNOW you're allergic to yeast and sugar, what were you doing buying wine?" And "it's was nice of the management to not charge you." And "you're probably going to make a big joke about this on that fucking message board when you could have cut a major artery or something."

yeah, like twenty minutes after it happened, and i had cleaned up the kitchen, and was no longer angry, i walked into the living room and said to my wife "well, at least we know that i can cuss in case of emergency" and my wife turned to me with a look of and we laughed it off.

good thing i didn't do that in public, i would have been put in jail.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why God? WHY?

Yeh, there was the time I set the case of Sam Adams on top of the car to go back into the store and find my keys. Then leaped back in the car, beerless, and drove off blissfully to the party, certain my friends' last spare cash was well spent. Good times. Good times. they locked me in the cellar for two hours

Be glad you refused to pay for the wine, because that's bullshit. They just keep a piece of the label and get reimbursed by the distributor when something breaks. At least that's what happened at the liquor store I worked at.

The assistant manager was very gracious but requested five or six times that I pay for the wine. The store owner came out and said it obviously was an accident and he didn't want me thinking customers would be treated rudely in his store. I bet he and the ass-mangr had it out after I left.

Seriously, all this talk of dropping alcohol is making me kinda depressed.