Thank God the bye weeks are done.
Andyfest 73.03
Knights Who Say Ni 110.73
If this were the beginning of the season, many might have expected this type of outcome with a rookie coach up against a two-time CMJ/Obner fantasy football champ "Yeah, I shared last year's with huskerpunk, but it still counts, right?" said a bragging coach Sketch. A great deal can change in ten weeks, though: Willie Parker showed up, Javon Walker got injured early, and Andre Johnson has spent the most of the season twiddling his thumbs. The Knights were certainly the underdogs going in. Shaun Alexander (Rush: 165 - 3, Rec: 1 - 9 - 0), however, has met if not exceeded expectations, and that was the key difference here. With four other startes in the 13-14 point range, it was enough when one of the league's best underperforms. Outside Larry Fitzgerald (Rec: 9 - 141 - 1), there wasn't much going on this week. Trent Green went negative, and the next best performance from the Fest was Jonathon Wells from the bench. With Willie Parker being a non-entity, one wonders if coach Andy will rebound for his 'Game of the Week' matchup against the elephanstoners.
3.2% Evil 82.30
elephantstoners 69.07
Then again, maybe there's no rebound necessary for the Fest. Coach j also had a quaterback go negative (two of them actually), and his running core did what they could to keep things interesting. Edgerrin James (Rush: 122 - 1, Rec: 3 - 26 - 0) keeps on truckin'. Perhaps the rest of them can recoup, but their current level wasn't enough against coach Marco. 3.2% Evil managed to win on LT's bye week thanks to Greg Jones (Rec: 106 - 1, Rec: 1 - 7) and company. No big standouts here, but each player did enough to contribute. It all added up. Both coaches admit going into this one that they were going to have down weeks, and both of them certainly went below their average. Marco might not be able to afford that against a hot Nacho team next week.
Execute Plan 9 81.53
El Nacho de Muerte 113.33
How hot was coach Nacho's squad this week? Enough to put Clinton Portis (Rush: 144 - 1, Rec: 2 - 9 - 0, 2 PT conversion) on the bench. Brian Westrbook and Larry Johnson set the pace while Brunell, Antonio Bryant, and the Denver defense followed suit. They faced coach Billz on a down week. Everything fell into place for El Nacho, and the timing couldn't have been better. Meanwhile, the Plan has some things he needs to figure out. The former league leaders have hit a two-game skid despite the efforts of Hines Ward (Rec: 8 - 24 - 1). Granted, of his three QBs, Billz picked the one with the worst outing, but that wouldn't have made the difference here. If something doesn't shape up quickly, he'll have a tough time against coach Spade, who is fighting for playoff contention.
Max's Silver Hammers 101.87
Rex and the Jedi 87.33
It just Rex and the Jedi's luck that just when he jumps back into the playoff hunt Max has a flashback to last year as plays like a playoff contender. Recent pickup Adrian Peterson (Rush: 120 - 1) and the Buffalo defense helped coach Spade make a game out of it, but they came up short. Tiki Barber (Rush: Rush: 95 - 1, Rec: 8 - 111 - 0, 2 PT converstion) makes another case for a season All-Star bid, and the receiving game was strong with three starters in double digits. While Max may have been savoring the win as "just like old times," it may be too much too late at this point. He might be able to build a winning streak since he faces the timmyjoe42ers next week, but it may be a silver lining in the could of a disappointing season.
Repeat Offenders 85.67
timmyjoe42er's 72.00
Well, the good news for coach Tim is that Peyton Manning is performing consistently well. The bad news is his team is still losing. Even Rueben Droughns (Rush: 56 - 1, Rec: 4 - 67) couldn't do enough to give the timmyjoers the big W. To be fair, his special teams starters were on bye, and... well, that's about as much as we can give him. Coach Tim continues to struggle, and he just might be thankful that the season is almost up. Coach Husker might be wishing the same thing, but for different reasons. The Jacksonville defense and Michael Vick (Pass: 209 - 2 TD / 0 INT, Rush: 24 - 1, 2 PT conversion) helped the Offenders move to a spot where, had the season ended today, they would be in the playoffs. With a struggling Gilead on-deck and being one of the few top teams to play a losing ball club next week, Husker's boys may have the chance to improve their postseason situation and fix some of the dead weight that showed up this week.
Rocket Sauce 54.70
Gilead Gunslingers 41.20
Perhaps struggle is an understatement for the Gunslingers, though. Coach backspace can't seem to catch a break. Donald Driver (Rec: 10 - 144 - 0) seems to be the only one to read the playbook. With byes and injuries, Gilead couldn't do much expect bring in the lowest score of the week. And if anything, this matchup shows that God likes to play favorites. Backspace's sixth straight loss gives coach bitterbuffalo his seventh-straight win. He didn't deserve it, but who's going to tell him that? Mike Alstott (Rush: 21 - 2, Rec: 1 - 18 ) got the game ball, and he didn't even start. Still, when you're playing really bad, mediocre just may be enough. It just might be enough next week against a robotboy franchise who's falling apart at the seams.
The Sunlandic Twins 46.40
Greased-up Deaf Guys 59.87
While known for their sentimentality, one has to wonder if the fans in Sunlandia think maintaining the Daunte Culpepper shrine is a good idea. Granted, he did outscore Kyle Orton this week, but the team would be much better served having an active player in the lineup. Ryan Longwell (4-4 FGs, 3-3 PATs) could have made someone really happy this week, but on C-Man's bench he did very little. Fortunately, coach paper found these guys at the right time as he was able to win on a down week. Both Randy Moss and Torry Holt kicked in this week, and the team brought in a little Tom Brady just to keep things nice and cool. There isn't much else here to mention except that the win brought the Guys up to .500, where they play the .500 Knights in what might be a do-or-die matchup for the playoffs.
The Grape Rush 71.43
The Mendoza Line 64.10
Coach Ripple has gotten a lot of flack from the press in his rookie season, and while some it may be deserved it is heartening to see him hang near .500 with no running game to speak of. Chris Chambers (Rec: 6 - 69 - 2) did his best to silence the Rush's critics, and they listened. So did the Mendoza Line, whose running game wasn't that much better. Coach jehrico stayed in the game thanks to hip-hop sensation Matt Jones (Rush: 12 - 0, Rec: 5 - 117 - 1). The loss unfortunately, brings them back down to .500 and having to work harder for a playoff spot. While things look bright in the short-term with a game against the Sunlandic Twins, coach jehrico's playoff plans are far from secure.
Sack of Worms 81.63
Schadenfreude 92.40
You want insecurity? How about coach jagged having one of the week's better games and losing? How having a second consecutive loss with a respectable point total? How about the genius of picking up Sam Gado (Rush: 103 - 2, Rec: 4 - 5 - 1) off waivers all for naught? That's has to make any coach insecure. Not that he had much reason to relax before the game. Schadenfreude is on a tear with a three-game winning streak, playoff position, and the second-highest point total in the league. Joey Galloway and Lee Evans lead the way with 3 touchdowns and nearly 200 yards of receiving between them. Even Chris Simms got into it from the bench. Though the running game is staggering a bit, the machine is still running and just might run over the Grape Rush in a week's time.
Lick my Lovepump 55.60
Bolsheviks in Space 73.23
Can it get any worse for coach robotboy? First team captain Terrell Owens is bench for the year, then Cedric Benson finally gets playing time right before succumbing to injury. Interim captain Roy Williams (Rec: 7 - 111 - 3) seemed more than eager to step up in time of crisis, but it help much from the bench. It's indeed a shame as it would have made the difference in this game and in the playoff hunt. You won't see coach Lambchop feeling bad about it, though. Marvin Harrison (Rec: 7 - 108 - 1) is indeed back, and the Carolina defense did their part to capitalize on the Pump's shortcomings. Perhaps the momentum can continue next week against an improving Sack of Worms, but very few people may care about the matchup itself outside the coach's moms.
Code:
1. elephantstoners 8-2-0 .800 951.14 L-1
2. Rocket Sauce 7-3-0 .700 975.53 W-7
3. Andyfest 7-3-0 .700 941.27 L-1
4. Execute Plan 9 7-3-0 .700 930.23 L-2
5. El Nacho de Muerte 7-3-0 .700 902.92 W-2
6. 3.2% Evil 7-3-0 .700 896.71 W-3
7. Schadenfreude 6-4-0 .600 973.48 W-3
8. Repeat Offenders 6-4-0 .600 864.30 W-1
9. The Mendoza Line 5-5-0 .500 819.26 L-1
10. Rex and the Jedi 5-5-0 .500 807.99 L-1
11. Greased-up Deaf Guys 5-5-0 .500 800.24 W-2
12. Knights Who Say Ni 5-5-0 .500 799.74 W-1
13. Lick my Lovepump 4-5-1 .450 711.15 L-2
14. The Grape Rush 4-6-0 .400 666.07 W-1
15. Max's Silver Hammers 3-6-1 .350 671.88 W-1
16. Gilead Gunslingers 3-7-0 .300 735.41 L-6
17. timmyjoe42er's 3-7-0 .300 640.21 L-1
18. Bolsheviks in Space 3-7-0 .300 627.47 W-1
19. Sack of Worms 2-8-0 .200 702.96 L-2
20. The Sunlandic Twins 2-8-0 .200 656.43 L-4
Week 10 All-Stars
QB: Michael Vick
RB: Shaun Alexander, Tiki Barber
WR: Roy Williams, Larry Fitzgerald, Joey Galloway, Hines Ward
K: Ryan Longwell
D: Minnesota
Season All-Stars
QB: Carson Palmer
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, Shaun Alexander
WR: Steve Smith, Joey Galloway, Larry Fitzgerald, Santana Moss
K: Neil Rackers
D: Chicago
