i'm not giving up on shit - just trying to figure out how the hell i got here, and where i went wrong along the way, and how i'm going to convince her to work on this, and how i'm going to patch together a way to finish this semester, and how i'm going to tell my family, and . . . .

like i've said, i want things to be the best, and i'm willing to work really hard to figure out what that means.

in the meantime, no drugs - unless i see a doctor - no drink, and i'm going to try not to smoke.

hard work i can do - makes me wonder if i haven't been working hard enough.

i just feel sad that she feels like talking to me wouldn't do any good.

i vote beat down.


northern soul. discipline like the 60s never happened.

on a more serious note, my condolences.

MONDAY, this might be a good idea. TONITE, and TOMORROW, Dr. Gar's advice is DAT MASSIVE BENDER.

She's obviously crazy. Find a new broad who respects your authoritay.

Holy shit, I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck with everything. I hope it works out for you.

Chuck D, I don't know you (other than your Obner persona, which I view as a wise and decent entity) - and I certainly don't know your wife - and I doubt I can offer anything useful to you by posting on a message board - but here goes anyway: people change a huge amount in the decade following their 18th birthday (and thankgod for that). I doubt your wife's decision has anything to do with whether or not you were working hard enough on the relationship. That strikes me as simply an attempt to justify, to explain what may not be explainable, in order to make a heartwrenching process easier. And her desire to offer you a reason probably means she's a good person and cares about you, but it may be inadvertantly doing more harm than good. Whatever the case, don't blame yourself or your education or your professional ambitions for this situation - because all of those things are exactly why a woman would (or should) want to be in a relationship with you in the first place.

Dr. Phil I'm not.

thanks rads - i'm signing off - gonna go home and clean my house. hot shower, cup of tea - whatever.

you folks are too good to me, i really appreciate you all.

good luck Colin!

Man, this is really the pits, Colin. Let me know if you need an ear, buddy. And hang in there!

I have absolutely no advice to give you, but I sincerely hope you work things out. You're in our prayers, Colin.

I'm sorry, Colin. Obners are fantastic supporters though.

Yes they are.

I wear my Obner supporter whenever I play competitive sport.

So it's still in the factory packaging then.

Pretty much.

Havn't done little league baseball since age 11. No competitive soccer since age 10 (though, yes, I know, technically footballers don't wear cups).

I have nothing more to ad, except my condolinces. I agree with most of the stuff that was said already. It will be up to you to figure out what to do based any suggestions from here and based on your gut feelings.

I bet you feel like you look in your avatar.

damn, man...I'm blown away by this, so I can only guess how your feeling...didn't realize that you guys had been together since 18 though...as others have said, that may be the biggest thing at work here...there's just so much shit that changes in that time span


hang in there bro, I got your back...don't be too hard on yourself if you cop a few smokes, you deserve it

and I hope the quitting school thing was somewhat in jest...that's a very bad idea

sorry to hear it man - good luck.

i have been treading this line for some time now with full time work plus school. luckily my wife lets me have it when i have been doing a bad job of balancing.

Sorry to hear about this man....Keep your head up and best of luck to ya...

Yeah, because we might owe the guy who gave us the band-aid. That wouldn't do.

Sorry, Colin. Here's hoping she'll come to her senses. If she hasn't told you why yet maybe she doesn't know why herself.

PM me if you wanna babble or something.

Here's a theme song in the meantime:
The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy - Domestic Animal

oh man... i'm sorry to hear about this man. i don't know what to really say since i've never been through anything like this before, but keep your head up and please, don't let all your hard work with school go to waste. perhaps continuing to finish would be a good thing to keep your mind off of things for the meantime.

Colin, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how tough this shit is, and if you need anything let me know.

I broke the "no drugs" part of my rule, had a quarter of a xanax, and slept like a baby last night. I feel like it's a good start. I feel like I have a game plan now: my schedule has all the flexibility that she needs, but she needs to learn to talk with me if anything is going to happen. I wrote her a three page letter this morning, and I probably will again tomorrow.

Now I just have to find out what the hell happened to my appetite. Normally I am a big eater, but I am just not fucking hungry at all.

you know what i want? the best for both of us. i just want this beautiful girl's help in figuring out what that means.

colin

again - you guys are good people (even monty, that twisted fuck, are good people). I guess I was joining for a little bit more than just music when I got on the cmj board four years ago.

Colin,

The first thing to go will be appetite and sleep. Unless you are really skinny, I wouldn't woory too much about eating. but make sure you get sleep. even if it's a little here and there. the appetite will come back after a few weeks but sleep you can't do without so if it means that you need some help get it and use it! otherwise you won't be able to think clearly.

keep in touch!