I have nothing to add CD--but I just want to say I'm praying for the best with you two.

I wish that I had some kind of sage advice for situations like this but...well I don't. All I can say is this:

From what I know of you (which extends back to February) you're a good person. Don't let your mind tell you that you're not. Hell man, you're in grad school. If nothing else that shows that you're willing to work to improve your life. And as far as she goes, you can break it down like this: If you always tried to cheer her up when she was down, was willing to help her in anyway possible when she needed assistance, and just tried to do the best you could as a husband and friend, well then you did your part. Its rough right now sure, but if there is anybody that can get through this it's you.

We're all here for you man, don't you ever forget that. And don't ever tell yourself that you're not a good person or that you weren't good enough, because thats the greatest falsehood of all.

Hope that helps a little. Like I said, I'm not much good at this kind of advice.

Hey Colin,
Been thinkin' about you a lot this week! Get rest whenever you can, even if it's little catnaps!
We're here for ya!

oh and another thing . . . blood pressure today: 171/80. sheesh. i needs that like i needs my wife to leave me.

thanks for the words, guys & dolls

I've been thinking on this for a couple days now, and I don't know if this helps, or offers insight, or whatever. That said, the best thing that happened to me was that my wife (girlfriend at the time) moved in with me during grad school. She was there while I put in 18 hour days, and 6+ day weeks, disappearing 'til all hours for group projects, class, study sessions, etc.

We found that we could make it through the long hours, the stress, the moodiness/flaring tempers, etc.

I still get crushed at work, but it's not a surprise, and at least everyone knew what they were getting into from the get go. It wasn't a condition/ultimatum, it was just recognized that this is what life would be.

I suspect that if you're ambitious/driven enough to pursue a PhD, you're gonna be ambitious/driven when you're out in the professional world. The hours and strain won't change. My thought is that in the long run, it's better to find out if this is unacceptable for the couple early on rather than later on. The soulseeking you'll do is not how do you mitigate the strain of grad school, but is the relationship ever going to survive the time and dedication you will inevitably give to your profession.

However it works out, I'm pullin' for you.

I'm woefully equipped to offer much advice, but I'm hoping for the best for ya, bro. Whatever you do, just don't think this is all on you and that you did or didn't do something to cause it all by yourself.

Keep us updated on the developments and we'll keep on alert to prop you up if you need it.

Be well.

Chuck, this may sound strange. Well no, it will sound strange. But I love drawing noses. The nose is what makes me want to draw a person. However, in person a nose isn't something that instantly attracts me to a person. I just think that the nose is interesting and very fun to draw. Anyways, you have a strong nose. A great nose. Not a big nose, not a small nose, a very noble nose. You should be proud of it. It looks like it was perfectly chiseled out of marble, by a master sculptor. I hope that counts for something.

I haven't looked at the Obner pictures lately but I do remember that. I probably will draw your face some day if you give me permission. If you don't, maybe I will just resort to drawing it in my sketchbook and never show a soul.

Wow, you're nosey.

CP that DID sound strange!

THIS nose???!!!

Yes that nose, not all scrunched up though. Go to the Obner picture page thing, someone will post a link i'm sure, and check out the second picture.

I know. I saw it.
Do you prefer to draw from life or pics? Stupid question I'm sure, but had to ask...
thinkI know the answer.

Hey Colin, I may not know you all that well (but you play bass, so you can't be that bad), but from your posts you seem to be a hard-working,-thinking, well grounded individual. I am sure those qualities will help you in this situation.

nose:

Colin,

If nothing else you sense of humor is still intact! thank GOD!!!

But yes, sister, if you want to draw it, draw it. I consider it a compliment.

I never realized that I shared eye color, hair color, skin tone, general nose-tip bulbosity and lip color with him before now. Must be a bassist thing.

Or something. I don't have potential mongering tendencies, but I worry that Mikey might.

This house is lonely. Good thing I have homework to keep me warm.

One's a nose, one's a schnoz.

Hey, but you're in this club, too, if I recall your visage correctly.

Seriously, I inhale abruptly and small objects become lodged in my brain, it's impressive.

hopefully the wife'll talk with me soon - i'm trying to stay out of her hair while she figures this (anything) out. one reason i haven't been drinking: I'd be knocking down the door to my friends' apartment, howling & putting even GAR to shame with my tumult.

last night i got home and she had a job interview offer on the answering machine. she's already looking for the $ to move out on her own, even though i told her she was covered as long as she would agree to counseling. so, rather than deleting the message, i called her up and told her. i even gave her the lady's number. suck.

Hey Chuck/Colin, I've stayed out of this discussion because I don't know you. But I see that hasn't stopped anyone else.

Whatever happens, keep your confidence up. Don't be needy. Even if you have to fake it till you make it. Women are attracted to confidence in a man. I mean, have you seen Donald Trump's wife?!? Okay, maybe money helps, too.

Try and think about the things you don't like about her. Think about what a great, supportive husband you've been and take a look at some of the losers out there. Speaking from personal experience, you're a catch.

Well, as long as you haven't made that face for so long that its stuck that way.

Play a little hard to get. It really does work. Send her some flowers. That makes a BIG difference. Send them somewhere so her friends (who are probably not helping the situation) see them. Go all out this once. Spring for a dozen roses, even if you have to finance them.

Go to the gym. Get a good haircut. Keep a disciplined schedule and don't buy in to negative thoughts. You are your thoughts.

Enjoy your "alone" time. I love my solitude. Its the only time I can fart out LOUD!

And if you're really lonely, maybe the obs can chip in and buy you a "companion". I'm sure there's quite a few in the Yellow Pages in Austin... Think they'd take PayPal?

In your honor, I will now change my sig.

Thanks, I need all the conversation from . . . distant . . . friends that I can get.




. . . no. or not right now. i think that positive is what i need to be right now



no . . . but . . . I hold snakes. sideways. is that bad?






her friends = my friends. they have been holding me up. so good. I don't know what i'd do without them.



well, that might be my problem right there . . .



ick.



made my day. thanks.

Oh thank god! I thought that picture of the guy (above with the schnoz) was actually a picture of you with your face unscrewed. You unscrew-up nicely!

I've been truly touched by the outpouring of support that Colin's been receiving. I'm proud of all of you.

So, you, Fractured Take, and Konstantin are grading on a curve? What does that give us Obs - A+??




Of course, final grade is subject to sign-off from Haq, but he'll know to trust the work of his mods.