Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:13 pm

Elvis Fu Wrote:

01. Maryland, My Maryland! Your Stately Anthem Copied Note for Note from "O, Tannenbaum" and Mixed With the Cartoon Violence of "La Marseillaise"
02. Pardon Me Sir, But How In The Name Of God Do You Prounounce Havre de Grace?
03. Don't Come Crying To Me Because You Had Two Fingers Bitten Off While Trying To Pet Wild Horses At Assateague
04. Oohh!! Nettles!!
05. I Saw Where Kunta Kinte Was Sold And All I Got Was An Ice Cream Cone From Storm Brothers And A T-Shirt That Says "Argh, Let Me See Your Booty"
05. Shoppers of Laurel Mall, Meet Artie Bremer and George Wallace
06. Oh Shit, Friendly. Or I Think We Should Have Turned Around Back At Andrews AFB
07. Kobayashi Ain't Got Nothin' On Art Donovan
08. Fred Ripken, Iron Man of Motorcycle Repair or At Least My Wife Didn't Fuck Kevin Costner
09. Hometown Of Kathy Lee Gifford And A Sniper Victim. Enjoy Your Stay In Bowie
10. Men of Fighting Age, Gather Your Arms And Fight For Your State's Rights Against the Aggressors!!! What's That? Lincoln Put Cannons On Federal Hill And Pointed Them At Downtown Baltimore?
11. Hollywood And Divine
12. Crack The Sky Is Still Playing Shows, Who Knew?
13. Come On In, Fellas!! Seventeen Years Is Plenty Old Enough To See A Haggard Junkie Get Naked And Beg For Tips While You Sip Lukewarm Canned Beer!!
14. Eddie Gaedel, Exploding Scoreboards and Larry Doby, Not Without Bill Veeck
15. Hancock: Gateway To West Virginia And Southern PA
16. O, Frank Perdue! Without Your Mafia Connections, How Could You Have Shared Your Deliciously Tender Chickens With The World?

No fair you had all day to think about yours. Brilliant work though, sir.

We'll have to weed the GA ones down to a manageable single-album length.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:15 pm

I did have all day, but I was sorta busy today and only had a few fleshed out in terms of wording or subject.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

Elvis Fu Wrote:

01. Maryland, My Maryland! Your Stately Anthem Copied Note for Note from "O, Tannenbaum" and Mixed With the Cartoon Violence of "La Marseillaise".

that's funny, i just listened to Sarah Vowell describe just exactly how fucking insanely pro-slavery that song is.

gauchebag · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:18 am

1. Ground: Zero Terrorists: One
2. In which our narrator drunkenly pilots a ferry into the land
3. Nikola Tesla and theTelecommunication Tower of Hope and Prosperity
4. When the Federal Government Came to Knock Down the Tower of Hope and Prosperity (circa 1917)
5. Lawn Guy Land, and its nasty inhabitants
6. The Chrysler Empire begins to unwind
7. The Statutes of Liberty
8. $110 parking ticket? F***cking cops trying to F**ck with a simple Jesus loving musician?
9. Lake Placid and the Olympics that no one remembers
10. The Egg, A Play, With a Capitol A
11. Come visit beautiful Lake Jawj

alongwaltz. · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:53 am

I think the Weakerthans need to be commissioned to pick up the Sufjan slack for Canada.

I was thinking Neil Young but he could probably make compilations of songs from his archive that would be the same thing.

FT · **Posted:** Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:07 pm

I think this thread has yet to reach its full potential, so I have resurrected it accordingly.

FT · **Posted:** Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:09 pm

cmanhatan4 Wrote:

1. Ground: Zero Terrorists: One

By the way, that's some good shit...and where have you gone, non-VA Chase???

A Northern Soul · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:23 pm **Posts:** 3742

Northern Soul Wrote:

sufjan stevens presents: im running out of places to do, so i thought id do canada. canadas north

only one track
1) kick those tree hugging enviromentalists in the nuts and tell them to fuck off to their homes in the juan da fuca straight and stop telling us what to do.

i stand by this.

Flying Rabbit · **Posted:** Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:38 pm

Fu...nice work. I enjoyed the Hancock and Havre de Grace ones.

adding--

1. Which way to Frederick Douglas's house.
2. Met a girl in Dundalk, she smells sweet.
3. California envy
4. Honey, I want to eat your baby blues
5. At least we have Lou Scally in hagerstown
6. The ballad of Earl Weaver and his tomatoes
7. Potomackin'
8. Loch Raven (a cover song)
9. The Night they drove ol' Hammerjacks down

billy g · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:41 pm **Posts:** 9020

Elvis Fu Wrote:

01. Maryland, My Maryland! Your Stately Anthem Copied Note for Note from "O, Tannenbaum" and Mixed With the Cartoon Violence of "La Marseillaise"
02. Pardon Me Sir, But How In The Name Of God Do You Prounounce Havre de Grace?
03. Don't Come Crying To Me Because You Had Two Fingers Bitten Off While Trying To Pet Wild Horses At Assateague
04. Oohh!! Nettles!!
05. I Saw Where Kunta Kinte Was Sold And All I Got Was An Ice Cream Cone From Storm Brothers And A T-Shirt That Says "Argh, Let Me See Your Booty"
05. Shoppers of Laurel Mall, Meet Artie Bremer and George Wallace
06. Oh Shit, Friendly. Or I Think We Should Have Turned Around Back At Andrews AFB
07. Kobayashi Ain't Got Nothin' On Art Donovan
08. Fred Ripken, Iron Man of Motorcycle Repair or At Least My Wife Didn't Fuck Kevin Costner
09. Hometown Of Kathy Lee Gifford And A Sniper Victim. Enjoy Your Stay In Bowie
10. Men of Fighting Age, Gather Your Arms And Fight For Your State's Rights Against the Aggressors!!! What's That? Lincoln Put Cannons On Federal Hill And Pointed Them At Downtown Baltimore?
11. Hollywood And Divine
12. Crack The Sky Is Still Playing Shows, Who Knew?
13. Come On In, Fellas!! Seventeen Years Is Plenty Old Enough To See A Haggard Junkie Get Naked And Beg For Tips While You Sip Lukewarm Canned Beer!!
14. Eddie Gaedel, Exploding Scoreboards and Larry Doby, Not Without Bill Veeck
15. Hancock: Gateway To West Virginia And Southern PA
16. O, Frank Perdue! Without Your Mafia Connections, How Could You Have Shared Your Deliciously Tender Chickens With The World?

17. National Beer, National Beer We Love to Drink Our National Beer! And While We Drink It, We're Proud to Say... It's Brewed on the Shores of the Chesapeake Bay!
18. Coastal Highway: Its Easier than You'd think to Get lost on a straight Road After Twenty Beers (Which side is the ocean again)

almost · **Posted:** Wed Dec 07, 2005 9:07 pm

Tennessee, Last To Secede!

1. We Volunteered In New Orleans, the War Was Already Done!
2. Man Of Many Hats (Or, Andrew Johnson, You Wore Them All!)
3. Yellow Fever You Changed Our Travel Plans - Memphis Where Have You Gone?
4. Reelfoot: The River Runs Backwards
5. Oak Ridge! Progress! Bombast!
6. The Cliff Divers At Fort Pillow (How They Tumble!)
7. The Capitol Is A Tomb (Architect, You Are Our Foundation)

That's all I got, although I doubt if Sufjan will ever have the balls to delve into the South.

tetzel1517 · **Posted:** Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:35 pm

Hey! Not all of us live in a state! But I'm sure Sufjan would write about us, too, so I give you...

Your Nation's Capital: The District of Columbia

1. Behold! Throngs of Eighth Graders and Midwesteners -- A Tour of the Capitol Building

2. The Great Go-Go Hardcore Revival

3. The Washington Monument or The National Phallus or Run For Your Lives! The Angry Red-Eyed Klansman Has Come Seeking Retribution!

4. We Are Not Museum Exhibits! We are People! We Actually Live Here! We Have Jobs! (Or: Walk On the Left, Stand on the Right)

5. Meditations on The New York Inferiority Complex and Expressions of Gratitude For Its $20 Bus Ride Proximity

6. The Real National Melting Pot (Or, Hipsters and Elderly Blacks Unite Under the Ben's Chili Bowl Banner)

7. Jefferson! Oh, Neglected Memorial!

8. A View From The Gallery During The State Of the Union: 535 Reasons to Leave Your Lover

9. Dupont Circle: If The Grand Old Party Only Knew What Was Going on Here!

10. We Are Drunk and Hunting For Jumbo Slices (or, A Tribute to Adams Morgan)

11. Northeast, Southwest, and Southeast: Ahoy! The Undiscovered Country!

12. Give Us Up To Maryland (or, A Non-Voting Delegate Is a Great Shame or Taxation Without Representation)

Oh, and someone tell swiateck that I finally posted here... it's my first!

Thee Incident · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:02 am

That's my former roommate/best friend/political junkie at large joining our ranks and reppin' for the 20003 zip code.

"And a good day to you, sir!"

Oh, and Tania, this is my tall skinny friend that was with me @ Coachella 2004. Dunno if you recall that, but just thought I'd throw it out there.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:05 am

Ahoy DC...from Annapolis.

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:08 am

swiateck Wrote:

That's my former roommate/best friend/political junkie at large joining our ranks and reppin' for the 20003 zip code.

"And a good day to you, sir!"

Oh, and Tania, this is my tall skinny friend that was with me @ Coachella 2004. Dunno if you recall that, but just thought I'd throw it out there.

Yes, I DO remember him! Any friend of Chad's is a friend o' mine. Welcome, sir!

aerodynamics · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:22 am

Sketchristmas Wrote:

Dayton!

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:05 am

tetzel1517 Wrote:

10. We Are Drunk and Hunting For Jumbo Slices (or, A Tribute to Adams Morgan)

shiv · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:02 am

Massachusetts

1. What tha fuck is your mayor saying?

2. THE BARS CLOSE AT 2AM?!?!?

3. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!1! THE SOX WON!!1! JOHNNY DAMON!1!!

someone from the boston crew add more in the morning.

fickerson · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:05 am

Is This Heaven? Not Even Close... Iowa

1. The Unfortunate Incident Occuring Including Dan Gable, a Tractor, and Two Cows
2. I Have Seen Herbert Hoover's Childhood Home And The Great Depression Makes Much More Sense To Me Now
3. Iowa City, Your Buildings Love To Burn, or, A Eulogy For The Old Capitol
4. What's That Smell? (Cedar Rapids- The City of Five Seasons)
5. West Des Moines, For the Underworked and Overpaid!
6. Yes! Ashton Kutcher is From Here! Now Will You Leave Me Alone?
7. To The Residents Of Dubuqe (I Don't Blame You For Spending All Your Money At The Riverboats)
8. Democracy! Voters! Caucusing! These Are a Few of My Favorite Things!
8. Madison County, What Has Happened To Your Bridges?
9. Oh Sweet Corn, I Recognize Its Beauty, But A Man Has His Limits (or, Revelations While Traveling On Interstate 80)
10. Don't Like The Weather? Wait Ten Minutes! Look, A Tornado! See? I Told You!
11. Writer's Workshop! Your Pretention Knows No Bounds!

these aren't very good, but hey, it's a boring state.

Red House Vincent · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:58 am

dr winston o'boogie Wrote:

Elvis Fu Wrote:

01. Maryland, My Maryland! Your Stately Anthem Copied Note for Note from "O, Tannenbaum" and Mixed With the Cartoon Violence of "La Marseillaise"
02. Pardon Me Sir, But How In The Name Of God Do You Prounounce Havre de Grace?
03. Don't Come Crying To Me Because You Had Two Fingers Bitten Off While Trying To Pet Wild Horses At Assateague
04. Oohh!! Nettles!!
05. I Saw Where Kunta Kinte Was Sold And All I Got Was An Ice Cream Cone From Storm Brothers And A T-Shirt That Says "Argh, Let Me See Your Booty"
05. Shoppers of Laurel Mall, Meet Artie Bremer and George Wallace
06. Oh Shit, Friendly. Or I Think We Should Have Turned Around Back At Andrews AFB
07. Kobayashi Ain't Got Nothin' On Art Donovan
08. Fred Ripken, Iron Man of Motorcycle Repair or At Least My Wife Didn't Fuck Kevin Costner
09. Hometown Of Kathy Lee Gifford And A Sniper Victim. Enjoy Your Stay In Bowie
10. Men of Fighting Age, Gather Your Arms And Fight For Your State's Rights Against the Aggressors!!! What's That? Lincoln Put Cannons On Federal Hill And Pointed Them At Downtown Baltimore?
11. Hollywood And Divine
12. Crack The Sky Is Still Playing Shows, Who Knew?
13. Come On In, Fellas!! Seventeen Years Is Plenty Old Enough To See A Haggard Junkie Get Naked And Beg For Tips While You Sip Lukewarm Canned Beer!!
14. Eddie Gaedel, Exploding Scoreboards and Larry Doby, Not Without Bill Veeck
15. Hancock: Gateway To West Virginia And Southern PA
16. O, Frank Perdue! Without Your Mafia Connections, How Could You Have Shared Your Deliciously Tender Chickens With The World?

17. National Beer, National Beer We Love to Drink Our National Beer! And While We Drink It, We're Proud to Say... It's Brewed on the Shores of the Chesapeake Bay!
18. Coastal Highway: Its Easier than You'd think to Get lost on a straight Road After Twenty Beers (Which side is the ocean again)

19. Let's hear that gunshot again, because I don't think they heard it all the way out in Park Heights (Or, Hey, This is just like in The Wire, innit?)
20. A Short Reprise For Animal Collective, who used to live in Owings Mills, but left for very good reasons

billy g · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:41 pm **Posts:** 9020

tetzel1517 Wrote:

Hey! Not all of us live in a state! But I'm sure Sufjan would write about us, too, so I give you...

Your Nation's Capital: The District of Columbia

1. Behold! Throngs of Eighth Graders and Midwesteners -- A Tour of the Capitol Building

2. The Great Go-Go Hardcore Revival

3. The Washington Monument or The National Phallus or Run For Your Lives! The Angry Red-Eyed Klansman Has Come Seeking Retribution!

4. We Are Not Museum Exhibits! We are People! We Actually Live Here! We Have Jobs! (Or: Walk On the Left, Stand on the Right)

5. Meditations on The New York Inferiority Complex and Expressions of Gratitude For Its $20 Bus Ride Proximity

6. The Real National Melting Pot (Or, Hipsters and Elderly Blacks Unite Under the Ben's Chili Bowl Banner)

7. Jefferson! Oh, Neglected Memorial!

8. A View From The Gallery During The State Of the Union: 535 Reasons to Leave Your Lover

9. Dupont Circle: If The Grand Old Party Only Knew What Was Going on Here!

10. We Are Drunk and Hunting For Jumbo Slices (or, A Tribute to Adams Morgan)

11. Northeast, Southwest, and Southeast: Ahoy! The Undiscovered Country!

12. Give Us Up To Maryland (or, A Non-Voting Delegate Is a Great Shame or Taxation Without Representation)

Oh, and someone tell swiateck that I finally posted here... it's my first!

13. Gimme Crack n' a Whore, the Voters Don't Care (Or The Marion Barry Story)

Sketch · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:21 am

FT® Wrote:

I think this thread has yet to reach its full potential, so I have resurrected it accordingly.

Music-related thread of the year. Hands down.

pinehurst · **Joined:** Fri Dec 10, 2004 1:45 am **Posts:** 1526

Quote:

1. Ground: Zero Terrorists: One
2. In which our narrator drunkenly pilots a ferry into the land
3. Nikola Tesla and theTelecommunication Tower of Hope and Prosperity
4. When the Federal Government Came to Knock Down the Tower of Hope and Prosperity (circa 1917)
5. Lawn Guy Land, and its nasty inhabitants
6. The Chrysler Empire begins to unwind
7. The Statutes of Liberty
8. $110 parking ticket? F***cking cops trying to F**ck with a simple Jesus loving musician?
9. Lake Placid and the Olympics that no one remembers
10. The Egg, A Play, With a Capitol A
11. Come visit beautiful Lake Jawj

I think he'll give upstate plenty of love...

12. The Siege of Troy
13. Oh, Scott Norwood, If You Only Could Have Kicked It Three Feet To The Left
14. The Garbage Plate Gave Me The Shits
15. Niagara Falls: Canada's side looks like an Amusement Park; Our Side Looks Like An Amusement Park That's Been Closed For 20 Years
16. We Sample The Cabernet on Keuka Lake, and find it excellent.
17. I Misspelled Binghampton Incorrectly
18. Oh, Cooperstown, Could You Forgive Charlie Hustle?

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:48 pm

ficky Wrote:

Is This Heaven? Not Even Close... Iowa

1. The Unfortunate Incident Occuring Including Dan Gable, a Tractor, and Two Cows
2. I Have Seen Herbert Hoover's Childhood Home And The Great Depression Makes Much More Sense To Me Now
3. Iowa City, Your Buildings Love To Burn, or, A Eulogy For The Old Capitol
4. What's That Smell? (Cedar Rapids- The City of Five Seasons)
5. West Des Moines, For the Underworked and Overpaid!
6. Yes! Ashton Kutcher is From Here! Now Will You Leave Me Alone?
7. To The Residents Of Dubuqe (I Don't Blame You For Spending All Your Money At The Riverboats)
8. Democracy! Voters! Caucusing! These Are a Few of My Favorite Things!
8. Madison County, What Has Happened To Your Bridges?
9. Oh Sweet Corn, I Recognize Its Beauty, But A Man Has His Limits (or, Revelations While Traveling On Interstate 80)
10. Don't Like The Weather? Wait Ten Minutes! Look, A Tornado! See? I Told You!
11. Writer's Workshop! Your Pretention Knows No Bounds!

these aren't very good, but hey, it's a boring state.

Actually, I laughed.

You only left out the middle (hidden) track, as a reprise of songs from The Music Man. But, it'd be hidden, so it makes sense not to mention it... Ufda, I just did.

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:50 pm

pinehurst Wrote:

I think he'll give upstate plenty of love...

12. The Siege of Troy
13. Oh, Scott Norwood, If You Only Could Have Kicked It Three Feet To The Left

No. 12 might be the best (short-form) title, yet.

As to Norwood: isn't he a high-school special-teams or soccer coach down in Virginia? I know that he's from there, and had family there; his father played in the same senior baseball league as my uncle.

Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!

Who is online