Back in the '80s, I used to read a short-lived satire mag called Spy. One of my favorite recurring features was a game called "Name That Tune, Mr. Spock." The object of this game was to try and determine which song Spock had rendered unrecognizable with his excessively logical interpretation.

For example:

I request that you prevent a large, glowing orb consisting of incandescent gas from committing fellatio upon my person.

Would be correctly identified by us non-Vulcans as:

Don't let the sun go down on me.

Get it? OK, then let's play! Here are 10 others for you to try and decipher...

1. This celebratory gathering occurs at my behest and I shall be lachrymose if it so befits me.

2. She chooses to purchase a terraced incline directed toward a postlife paradisiacal region.

3. The leather coverings now encasing my pedal extremities have been manufactured for the specific purpose of ambulatory forward motion.

4. Allow me the honour of portraying for you a miniaturized representation of a member of the family Ursidæ of the order Carnivora.

5. Adieu, jaundiced vehicular pathway consisting of blocks of baked clay.

6. You provide illumination for the period of time delimited by my nativity and the complete cessation of my metabolic functions.

7. And we will engage in much jubilant activity until such time as the male parent chooses to repossess her vehicle of motorized transport.

8. The deity had little or nothing to do with the manufacture of minuscule viridescent seed-bearing fruits.

9. Expresses deep affection toward yours truly in the manner of a hardened igneous object.

10. Please remove yourself from the immediate vicinity of my visible collection of minute water particles.

# 9 might be 'Loves You Like A Rock" by Paul Simon

#1- It's My Party (And I'll Cry If I Want To) by that hard-core mama, Leslie Gore.

(or not)

1. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to - Leslie Gore
2. She's buying the stairway to heaven - Led Zeppelin
3. These boots are made for walking - Nancy Sinatra
4. Oh let me be your teddy bear - Elvis Presley
5. Goodbye yellow brick road - Elton John
6. You light up my life - various
7. We'll have fun, fun, fun 'til daddy takes the T-Bird away - Beach Boys
8. God did't make little green apples - Roger Miller (thanks to my roommate and google for this one)
9. Loves me like a rock - Paul Simon
10. Hey you, get off of my cloud - Rolling Stones (thanks to my roommate for this one)

6. could be You Are the Sunshine of my Life, couldn't it?

Marco makes a good point, albeit shmoo has proven to be quite the savant (without the bon). Well done, Eric!

Would anyone care to create some new ones for us to try and solve?

I can attempt to make some up. Although they are going to be piss poor.

1. Respond to me in the affirmative.


Actually, I am only going to make it one. I am horrible at this.

Actually, this sounds more like Conehead-speak than Mr. Spock.

But it's all geeky good.

1) I fail to see what is humourous about non-violence, affection and mutual agreement.

2) The seraphim desire to adorn themselves with my vermillion pedal accessories.

3) She is clearly a version for this past 365 days.

4) I have no desire to travel to a suburb of London.

5) A large group of soldiers are commanded by a dead British ruler.

(all by the same artist)

1. Peace, Love and Understanding
2. Red Shoes
3. This Year's Girl
4. Chelsea
5. Oliver's Army