asking to meet Tom Waits. If I make a large envelope that's decorated nicely do you think i'll get noticed?

God i'm 7 again. I remember writing to my favorite baseball players then.
They responded too. I SWAK'd those envelopes. Little did they know I was seven.

Degeneres?

The one and only.

Your obsession with this man borders on the strange.

And how exactly is Ellen the gateway to him?

OOOHH - If I wrote her a letter on lacey paper and shit would she send me a new stereo remote?!

you bitch. She makes dreams come true. In one episode, a house wife wanted to drive a monster truck. She flew the woman to the studio and had a monster truck waiting outside to run over a ton of vacuum cleaners.

She is a genie.

It's not strange. If I was obsessed I would have ordered his hat he had on ebay and I would wear it to bed every night.

I would have it surgically implanted into my skull.
I didn't do that therefore I am not obsessed. It would just be cool to meet him, though I don't know what i'd say.

I want to meet Elvis Costello too. I can't sing for shit but if he came to Richmond and sang with me in the school talent show i'd embarrass myself for the sole purpose of singing with Elvis Costello. Not that many high schoolers get to do it, you know.

...I'm gonna need a genie to afford that replacement remote. I should tell her it was damaged during Katrina.

I'm going to write her a letter asking her to fulfill my dream of seeing Ellen put a round from a .45 through her hard palate with huge subway size posters of nekkid Portia de Rossi all over the set.

And the fairytale ending? Vance DeGeneres will get his own tv show.

She's a poor white lesbian's Oprah.

So the talk show bar these days is set by the likes of Ellen and Tyra Banks. Isn't that special.

Oprah's not exactly worried, I don't think.

I will steal this idea to meet Gregg Alexander.

She did survive Tempestt Bledsoe and Howie Mandel.

Well, let's put 'strange' in context. Liking Tom Waits at all is strange (in a he's-not-exactly-stereotypical-top-40 way) -- don't necessarily take that as an insult. When people tell me I'm strange, I say, 'thank you' -- because it means I'm unique...at least a little.

Although, if there is an alternate universe in which Tom Waits is stereotypical top 40, please give me directions.

A la About a Boy? I wouldn't care if it was Elvis Costello -- I would totally throw something at you if you did some crap rendition of "Alison", or something like that.

are you comparing hugh grant to elvis costello?

Yes

People are strange, when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
People seem wicked, when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven, when you're down

When you're strange- faces come out of the rain (rain, rain)
When you're strange- no one remembers your name
When you're strange, when you're strange, when you're str-ange

The Op just flew a bunch of BZ City women in to talk about reporting a child molester and having him extradited...lemme in on the NYC hotel action.

say it in english, beacho.

Gregg Alexander is the poor-whiteboy-with questionable taste-'s Jon Brion.

Don't get me wrong, Alexander has talent and a good sense of melody, but debasing yourself in such a manner to meet him is appallingly pathetic. If it were to meet Brion, well that would be totally acceptable and you'd have my understanding, and best wishes.

Hey, we all have our musical obsessions and Gregg Alexander just happens to be one of mine. I don't expect anyone to understand my love for his music.

no, don't get me wrong, it's a commendable obsession.

But you really ought to get Brion's solo album if you don't already have it. It's right up your alley.

Umm...I've never heard anyone be described as being a genie before, but I'll let it slide this time.