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 Post subject: Re: Social Anxiety
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:27 am 
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Borg166 Wrote:
This is kind of embarrasing, but does anyone else suffer from social anxiety?
Not technically, but yes, my social life is pretty much nonexistent. I mean, I always have friends, and people who desire my company, but sometimes I want it to be the other way around, so I know what you mean.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:39 am 
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frosted Wrote:
No. Sometimes people think that. But it's really just I don't like them much.


Yeah. I like it when someone with a completely toxic personality (compulsive liar, etc) tries to call you out on being unsociable because you won't hang out with them.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:43 am 
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There are many, many people I want nothing to do with on a close, personal level. I guess that could be called social anxiety, but it's not like I'm afraid of them. Just think they suck.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:47 am 
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Wow, after reading the responses it looks like its a common problem. What you're having is a panic attack and you can get beta-blockers from your doctor and they will stop the heart from rushing.

Its a physical thing, when you have a panic attack, not to say it can't be situational anxiety. So don't be embarrassed by it.

You might just not be a "social" person. Not everyone is and there's nothing wrong with that. When I was in college, I would guilt myself out because I wouldn't go out to the social events, until I realized that I was doing exactly what I wanted to do by being at home.

Different strokes...


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:01 am 
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Nakedprey Wrote:
pinkeyedwink Wrote:
Nakedprey Wrote:
pinkeyedwink Wrote:
Quote:
This is kind of embarrasing, but does anyone else suffer from social anxiety?


hence my presence here (and absence at obner gatherings in austin)

its actually gotten a lot worse. for a long time i would refuse to interact with people and because of this my social skills have suffered severely. seriously retarded when it comes to social stuff now, but i'm working on it. i'm thinking of seeing someone too


You and my bro should hang out. He lives in Austin, but he's kind of reclusive. 8) He has a few friends up there...



sounds disastrous. does he play tennis?


Haha. He used to play tennis. In fact, my dad teaches it for a living. Anyway, my bro is basically a big music geek, computer geek and health nut.


really, does your dad teach in austin? i've been wanting to take some lessons


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:18 am 
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never been a problem for me, i'm a social butterfly. if i'm quiet, it's probably because i'm just observing people or the situation or i don't like you.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:48 am 
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My mother suffered from agoraphobia for many years. Do you think it's possible that's what you have? Either way, if I were you, I'd seek therapy. It took my mom quite some time to get over her problem, but she eventually did.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:19 am 
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:21 am 
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i probably do to a point.

like someone else mentioned, there are times when i won't go someplace unless i know everyone who will be there. (parties, etc.)

there are times when i'll go to a store....drive all the way there....and then decide that i don't want to be there and will turn around to go back home.

the thought of meeting someone for the first time FREAKS me out. and i'll just avoid it at all costs. no matter how MUCH i want to meet said person. ....and in turn, i'm sure i come off as kinda flakey.

but it's odd. to know me....nobody would guess that i were this way. i'm pretty outgoing around friends, family, people i'm comfortable with. it's all an internal battle.

and i KNOW that if i force myself to go someplace i'm anxious about or meet someone i'm avoiding....it ALWAYS turns out fine. it's just getting myself to do it that can sometimes be a battle.

and it's not always like this. hell, as i'm getting older i've noticed that most of the time i just don't care anymore and do what i want.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:02 am 
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pumachik Wrote:
never been a problem for me, i'm a social butterfly. if i'm quiet, it's probably because i'm Passed Out or Too High To Talk

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:08 am 
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Talking to someone/therapy sounds like a good idea.
Even if it's not a therapist... talk to your parents if you feel that you can.
Just getting going about it helps you get to the root and should help you feel better about things.

Good luck.

Oh, and if your web personna is a good reflection of your "real world" personality... people will like you. Lots of us here do.


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 Post subject: Re: Social Anxiety
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:10 am 
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Borg166 Wrote:
This is kind of embarrasing, but does anyone else suffer from social anxiety? I've been shy my whole life and never felt totally comfortable interacting with strangers, but sometimes it gets a bit extreme.

For example, I was at Best Buy today with some gift cards and wanted to pick up a few CDs, but as I was standing in line, I suddenly started panicking and had to leave the line and the store without purchasing anything. I know it's ridiciulous, but I just couldn't bring myself to interact with the cachier. This happens a lot at the grocery store too.

I'm seriously thinking about seeing a psychiatrist about this because it's really messing up my social life.


I'm no mental health expert, but if you think it's starting to become a problem then it's worth consulting with a professional for some advice on how to deal. I actually used to be on medication for blood pressure (beta blockers) that is also prescribed for social anxiety. I was prescribed for work-related stress, Type-A behaviour, so not surprisingly, I'm generally extroverted but I do have issues with public speaking. The beta-blockers actually knocked the edge off before I had to do a lecture or talk in front of colleagues. It's not a cure for social anxiety, but with some talk therapy or something, it may be helpful.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:37 am 
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I don't have a problem talking to people face to face but for some reason I have a real problem calling people on the phone. Theres just something about talking aloud to someone who isn't there that bothers me especialy if I don't know them.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:45 am 
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I'm sort of moody. Sometimes I'm shy and sometimes I'm outgoing, and it's completely unpredictable to me.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:03 pm 
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Thanks for the input everyone. There's a lot of good advice here.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:11 pm 
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i have some weird quirks. i get nervous speaking in public, but not all the time. I have to speak to large crowds at work and I dont mind doing it usually, but sometimes I get pretty nervous.

i also really hate calling people on the phone or asking people to do things for me.

i have some weird quirks.

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 Post subject: Re: Social Anxiety
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:36 pm 
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Borg166 Wrote:
This is kind of embarrasing, but does anyone else suffer from social anxiety? I've been shy my whole life and never felt totally comfortable interacting with strangers, but sometimes it gets a bit extreme.

For example, I was at Best Buy today with some gift cards and wanted to pick up a few CDs, but as I was standing in line, I suddenly started panicking and had to leave the line and the store without purchasing anything. I know it's ridiciulous, but I just couldn't bring myself to interact with the cachier. This happens a lot at the grocery store too.

I'm seriously thinking about seeing a psychiatrist about this because it's really messing up my social life.

On all those personality tests (real ones given at work, not just online ones) I'm rated at nearly 100% introvert, so I really understand what you're saying.

I'm a very, very bad public speaker - I sound like George Bush half the time, stumbling through my words and reconsidering what I'm saying halfway through. I would prefer talking on the phone to talking in person to a new person, but email's preferred overall for almost all communication.

If there's a big social event of any kind coming up, I will attempt to psyche myself up for it, then the day of find someway out of it. I've missed a few concerts this way - even shows I actually really wanted to see.

I've often gone to the self-checkout lanes at the grocery store just to not deal with people, even if I have a lot of stuff to checkout. And, besides, I pack my groceries better than the bag-boys do. Advantage: introversion.

I find it very tiring and stressful dealing with lots of people. Overwhelming is probably a better word. After dealing with people, I'm mentally exhausted. Avoidance is my current tactic. Like other people have said, it's a problem if you feel it's a problem. I'm okay simply avoiding situations that stress me out, but if it gets to a point where I feel I'm missing out, then it's time to do something about it. Luckily, I'm an only child and a loner by nature, so not hanging around tons of people is the preferred choice anyway and always has been.

What I don't like is that people think I don't like them because I don't go to their parties and stuff. I've tried explaining in the past, and they claim to understand, but they don't - they think that "this time" will be an exception or whatever. As I've told them in the past, I tell them again - one on one is fine, but in a group, I'm going to clam up, find a seat near the TV, and disappear. "It's not you, or your party, or anyone at your party in particular. It's parties in general." It never gets through.

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 Post subject: Re: Social Anxiety
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:45 pm 
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Whofa King cares Wrote:
If there's a big social event of any kind coming up, I will attempt to psyche myself up for it, then the day of find someway out of it. I've missed a few concerts this way - even shows I actually really wanted to see.




geez. i've done that. i've HAD TICKETS, even. and missed the shows.
(in one case..... phish's LAST SHOWS....i had tickets to see both of them at the movie theater.....yet, still didn't go. wasted the money and all. grrrr.)

i have gotten much better lately, though. (i'm STILL regretting the phish shows, though.)

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:20 pm 
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i think i have this to a small extent. it's gotten way better since i stopped smoking pot. i actually believe it is a direct result of all the drug use in my past.
the only panic attack i've ever had was while on mushrooms on the subway during rush hour in DC. it was awful. every man in a suit that came on board was my dad coming home from work.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:28 pm 
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I failed two courses in college cause I refused to give a speech in front of the class of 20 people. Some professors were understanding and let me do alternative type work, but others gave me ultimatums....i showed them...i think.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:31 pm 
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elephantstone Wrote:
the only panic attack i've ever had was while on mushrooms on the subway during rush hour in DC. it was awful. every man in a suit that came on board was my dad coming home from work.


Sorry, but that's pretty amusing.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:35 pm 
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Elvis Fu Wrote:
elephantstone Wrote:
the only panic attack i've ever had was while on mushrooms on the subway during rush hour in DC. it was awful. every man in a suit that came on board was my dad coming home from work.


Sorry, but that's pretty amusing.

it's friggin' hilarious to me now. at the time it was terrifying. i had the full on out of body experience. saw everything happening from above me. really odd.
ever since that day, i'd sometimes get that "tripping" feeling just from smoking a little pot.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:44 pm 
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my only actual panic attack was at an ani difranco show in columbus. the place was PACKED. and i was pushed up against this railing.


i got the whole tunnel hearing....vision. starting sweating and breathing heavy.

i swear i would've collapsed if i hadn't been crammed up to the crowd and the railing.

i just talked myself out of feeling panic-y. made it a point to try to control my breathing.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:51 pm 
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Hey, I found an article that describes this board:

One morning when he was 15, [Insert Obner Name Here] shut the door to his bedroom, and for the next four years he did not come out. He didn't go to school. He didn't have a job. He didn't have friends. Month after month, he spent 23 hours a day in a room no bigger than a king-size mattress, where he ate dumplings, rice and other leftovers that his mother had cooked, watched TV game shows [or "Arrested Development"] and listened to Radiohead and Nirvana. "Anything," he said, "that was dark and sounded desperate."


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:55 pm 
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i dunno, i definitely get in moods where I just don't talk to people and I want to be left the fuck alone, but it's rarely anxious. I think it's more i'm just a moody bastard.

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