So I have to go to this party tonight.....

Pagoda · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:22 pm

with my wife. It is being held by a friend of hers who works for the terrible pop radio station Q100 in Atlanta. She is excited becasue she listen to this garbage. Please help to supply me with subtle underhanded comments. These people remind me of that SNL skit with Jimmy Fallon "and were baaaaaaaaaaack." KILL ME NOW!!!

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:23 pm

That's one good thing about being gay. I don't have a wife who drags me to lame parties.

I suggest you bring your iPod with you, and phase out the crowd.

hey look · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:24 pm

Just get really drunk and make an ass of yourself.

They won't invite you back and you'll never have to see them again

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:25 pm

contradiction Wrote:

Just get really drunk and make an ass of yourself.

They won't invite you back and you'll never have to see them again

Yeah but then his wife will probably get all pissy and deny him sex for a while.

Simon March · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:25 pm

Refer to them as "bloody wankers" all night and talk in the third person.

Pagoda · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:25 pm

contradiction Wrote:

Just get really drunk and make an ass of yourself.

They won't invite you back and you'll never have to see them again

Except I will have to see my wife again.

hey look · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:26 pm

Pagoda Wrote:

contradiction Wrote:

Just get really drunk and make an ass of yourself.

They won't invite you back and you'll never have to see them again

Except I will have to see my wife again.

Make sure she gets equally drunk.

Pagoda · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:27 pm

the lockness lobster Wrote:

Refer to them as "bloody wankers" all night and talk in the third person.

This would be a great approach if by subtle I had meant blatant. Maybe I should give Loogar some drugs and alcohol and let him wreck shop.

Postmersh · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:28 pm

Roll with it, dude - Just because they listen to Bad Music doesn't mean they're Bad people.

Unless they like Linkin Park. Then they're pretty much doomed...

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:29 pm

Pagoda, just say stuff like "This song is so good! It makes me want to jab pencils into my eardrums"

or in response to "Have you heard the new Jewel?" say "Yeah, they were piping into the morgue when I went to identify a body last week"

or "Yeah, I read about this Elevator Illustrated, it was right next to an ad for sleep aids, and a column on Kevorkian"

Simon March · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:30 pm

Whenever Avril Levigne, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, or any other artist (used very loosely) you don't approve of is mentioned, cough real loud while saying "cock" at the same time.

Pagoda · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:30 pm

Postmersh Wrote:

Just because they listen to Bad Music doesn't mean they're Bad people.

No mersh but it is a pretty damn good indicator.

I just feel I am going to end up in a conversation about how indie "Ocean's 12" was or how Marron 5 is changing the face of music.

PopTodd · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:32 pm

Just be truthful and, when someone asks you about music, say:
"Sorry, but as an elitist Indie Snob, I loathe anything that sells more than 50,000 records"

That way you can still mock them, while simultaneously mocking yourself, therby diffusing any backlash... you're already admitted to your snobbishness.

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:32 pm

These types of parties are brutal. I've been to a few in my time and have left early. I remember at one party in particular, there was this girl who claimed she was an encyclopedia of music. She claimed she knew everything about music. We'll this naturally got me all excited but when I asked if she liked Wilco, she gave me a "Who?" look to which she accompanied that with "Are they new?". Well let's just say, I left that party rather quickly.

Simon March · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:34 pm

OPA! Wrote:

These types of parties are brutal. I've been to a few in my time and have left early. I remember at one party in particular, there was this girl who claimed she was an encyclopedia of music. She claimed she everything about music. We'll this naturally got me all excited but when I asked if she liked Wilco, she gave me a "Who?" look to which she accompanied that with "Are they new?". Well let's just say, I left that party rather quickly.

I wouldn't of. I would have mocked her all night and then tried to get her to sleep with me.

HaqDiesel · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:34 pm

Tell them you had sex with their wives.

Postmersh · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:35 pm

Pagoda Wrote:

I just feel I am going to end up in a conversation about how indie "Ocean's 12" was or how Marron 5 is changing the face of music.

That's when you excuse yourself for the men's room...
Tolerate what is tolerable, excuse yourself from any other interaction. Besides, there'll be drinks, and I'm sure the awfulness of sitting through the evening will be offset by Marital perks, and will be a powerful bargaining chip this holiday season.

Remember, The Holiday season doesn't end until the last lap has been taken at Daytona, and that's in mid-February...

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:35 pm

PopTodd Wrote:

Just be truthful and, when someone asks you about music, say:
"Sorry, but as an elitist Indie Snob, I loathe anything that sells more than 50,000 records"

That way you can still mock them, while simultaneously mocking yourself, therby diffusing any backlash... you're already admitted to your snobbishness.

This is actually really good advice.

First of all, it's honest, and that way, you don't have to remember what lies you said to remain consistent.

Secondly, it gives you a blank check to say pretty much anything you want after that.

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:36 pm

Or, just make shit up.

Unidentfied Gar #1:"I love this song by Maroon 5"
Unidentified Gar #2: "Yeah, it soooooo good"
You: "The lead singer's a child molester"
UG#1: "No Waaay!"
You: "Yep, he was charged with playing 'ticklemonster' with some kids at a children's hospital in LA"

or UG#1: "This Linkin Park and Jay-Z is the shiznit"
You: "Yeah, but they got into a fight."
UG#2: "Over what"
You: "Chester Bennington (or whoever the fuck that guy is) wanted to fuck Jay-Z, but Mark Shinoda got to him first"
UG#1: "Really, I didn't know Jay-Z' gay"
You: "He's not, but he has been to jail....I'm not syaing its true, just something I heard on the internets"

hey look · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:37 pm

Senator Richard LooGAR Wrote:

Pagoda, just say stuff like "This song is so good! It makes me want to jab pencils into my eardrums"

or in response to "Have you heard the new Jewel?" say "Yeah, they were piping into the morgue when I went to identify a body last week"

or "Yeah, I read about this Elevator Illustrated, it was right next to an ad for sleep aids, and a column on Kevorkian"

Ok really, these were the best responses here.

PopTodd · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:38 pm

Dusty Chalk Wrote:

PopTodd Wrote:

Just be truthful and, when someone asks you about music, say:
"Sorry, but as an elitist Indie Snob, I loathe anything that sells more than 50,000 records"

That way you can still mock them, while simultaneously mocking yourself, therby diffusing any backlash... you're already admitted to your snobbishness.

This is actually really good advice.

First of all, it's honest, and that way, you don't have to remember what lies you said to remain consistent.

Secondly, it gives you a blank check to say pretty much anything you want after that.

People don't belive me when I tell them that I'm a genius. But if they stick around long enough, they begin to see the truth... and I'm not saying what that is. :flipoff:

Postmersh · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:39 pm

Senator Richard LooGAR Wrote:

Unidentfied Gar #1:"I love this song by Saliva"
Unidentified Gar #2: "Yeah, it soooooo good"
You: "The lead singer's a child molester"
UG#1: "No Waaay!"
You: "Yep, he was charged with playing 'ticklemonster' with some kids at a children's hospital in Jersey"

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:40 pm

Postmersh Wrote:

Senator Richard LooGAR Wrote:

Unidentfied Gar #1:"I love this song by Saliva"
Unidentified Gar #2: "Yeah, it soooooo good"
You: "The lead singer's a shit eater"
UG#1: "No Waaay!"
You: "Yep, he was charged with digging through a dumpster outside an old foks home and sucking on the used depends...but what was worse was when he tried to sneak in and drink from the bedpans"

It works with anyone, really.

hey look · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:42 pm

Loog, something tells me you've been in this position many times before.

Modem · **Posted:** Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:42 pm

Pagoda

I feel your pain.

Perhaps you will enjoy this, then:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail120.html

So I have to go to this party tonight.....

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