things you can't do

Red House Vincent · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:22 am

tentoze Wrote:

Auto-fellatio- if I could, I'd never leave home.

Hah. Straight men. :roll:

Erm...

I can't swim, and I can't whistle. I can't stop being gay, either, but that's another thread that OPA will eventually bring up.

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:36 am

Whistle w/ fingers
That yodel cat call thing

About the auto-fellatio thing -- I don't know...sounds too much like masturbating, I just have a feeling it'd suck.

babe · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:24 pm **Posts:** 314

sleep. . .

Mick · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:43 am

tentoze Wrote:

Auto-fellatio- if I could, I'd never leave home.

I know this guy who used to do gymastics and now he's some sort of champion swimmer. He can.

He showed everyone once, but reckons he's never actually tried it (obviously he was wearing pants, but his mouth was right there).

DumpJack · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:09 am

Dalen Wrote:

Drink only half a bottle of wine.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:18 am

This proves that the whistling with fingers thing is overrated--I can't do it either, though I am an excellent whistler......

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

DumpJack · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:20 am

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

That kind of surprised me too. I got tossed in the lake when I was a wee kid and more or less forced to learn. Kids have a nasty habit of drowning where I I'm from if they don't know how.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:22 am

DumpJack Wrote:

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

That kind of surprised me too. I got tossed in the lake when I was a wee kid and more or less forced to learn. Kids have a nasty habit of drowning where I I'm from if they don't know how.

Yeah, we took a little thing called SWIMMING LESSONS at like age 4.

Same thing though: lots of lakes and swimming pools around here.

Billzebub · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:26 pm **Posts:** 6459

Can't grow a beard

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:32 am

I can whistle, but only when inhaling, not exhaling. Which means if I were to attempt the Andy Griffith theme song, I would pass out.

I can't seem to grow a long James Longstreet-style beard, but I'm giving it another go right now.

Evil Dr. K · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:51 am **Posts:** 6327

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

Here they make you learn to swim at school. I was the last person in the class to get my Scottish Swimmer 100m badge. If I had a shorter arm I probably wouldn't have made it.

daystar · **Joined:** Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:14 pm **Posts:** 3298

can't swim.
can't whistle.
can't snap my fingers on my left hand.

Dalen · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:42 am

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

no shit right. very surprising [and kinda funny].

Senator LooGAR · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:45 am

DumpJack Wrote:

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

That kind of surprised me too. I got tossed in the lake when I was a wee kid and more or less forced to learn. Kids have a nasty habit of drowning where I I'm from if they don't know how.

I got pushed into a pool when I was like 3...and almost drowned. So, the next day my mom had me out there teaching me to swim.

What do you do, just never go into the deep end?

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

I can't stop doing the mashed potato

barneyhazelwood · **Joined:** Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:43 pm **Posts:** 100

Although I can't auto-fellate, and I'm short, and IT'S short, I have had NUMEROUS vivid dreams where IT is HUGE, between two and three feet long and 3 inches thick, AND I can do what I want with IT.

Stop Breathin' · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:31 pm

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

more black folks on the board than we originally thought.

I can't drive in the mountains or over really tall bridges. I said can't.

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:32 pm

i can get two for one
out the vending machine

stick it to the man
with four god damn twix!

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:33 pm

oh fuck... this was the CAN'T

so ... uh
i cant read

Z · **Joined:** Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:38 pm **Posts:** 7979

Stop Breathin' Wrote:

Yail Bloor Wrote:

How the hell can so many of you not swim?

more black folks on the board than we originally thought.

i had never heard anyone say that until i started this job. one of the guys has a boat and usually invites everyone from the department out for a day on the lake and someone said that one of the women couldn't go because she can't swim and she was like, "who says i can't swim?!" and then it turned out to be the other black woman in the department that can't swim.

DumpJack · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:36 pm

Stop Breathin' Wrote:

I can't drive in the mountains or over really tall bridges. I said can't.

This is me as well. I just can't. I only discovered this a couple of years ago when travelling through Michigan to get to the Soo. After the first bridge, I turned to my wife and said "you drive or I swear to Christ I will KILL us both".

catswilleatyou · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:38 pm

i work with an intelligent man
of the mexican descent

doesn't swim
...
hates boats and everything

PopTodd · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:51 pm

I can't generate any interest in the music that means most to me.

alongwaltz. · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:04 pm

-Can't whistle
-Can't ride a bike
-Can't rollerblade
-Can't skateboard
-Can't ice skate
-Can't drive a car

But I can swim.

I only made it to Orange, though. At the time, I refused to dunk my head underwater because I was afraid I'd drown. So she failed me.

I can do it now, though.

d · **Posted:** Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:16 pm

whistle with fingers
see those damn 3-d images that were popular in the mid 90s
cartwheels

things you can't do

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