Excuse me.

THOSE HEATHENS DON'T USE DOLLARS.

here's a whale

Is that a mannequin in the cut-off shirt? Creepy.

The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

That story even made me gag.

Agreed. Both sides of it.

I see news stories like this and I wonder, "Who the fuck could possibly care about this enough that it becomes a major news story?" Question answered. Not that there's anything wrong with caring, mind you, but there are other things so much more important and interesting to me than a fucking whale that can't figure out which way to swim.

pretty much

I hear you now. Yeah, we use pounds which are worth two of your shitty dollars.

Quite possibly right. However, such things as parasites, infection, and military sonar have also been known to cause behavior like this.

It's great that whales get so much attention, because you really need healthy food webs to be able to support healthy whale populations. They're a good indicator of when shit's going wrong - if the whales are doing poorly, everything downstairs is also doing poorly. That, and not just the fact that they are charismatic, is a good reason for paying close attention to whale populations.

We do know that military testing with low-fequency noise has damaged whale hearing, and that excessive noise pollution can actually affect the way that they communicate.

We break it, and we don't know how we broke it, so we try to fix it, and we don't know how to fix it . . .

You can't trust whales. I mean, like, they're mammals, but they're always underwater, out of sight, just...scheming. This one was probably some escaped whale mind control experiment. We should be investing in superior shark technology--it's our only hope.

awesome.

From the ONION, c. March 2000: Whales Develop Opposable Thumbs; Humans respond: 'We're fucked'.

I'm sure that somewhere on the internet there was footage of an Orca killing a Great White pretty easily. It was like Tyson vs Spinks all over again.

$1.78455, bitches!!!!!!