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Stop Breathin'
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:39 pm 
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Go Platinum
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Location: viewing the fall....
TinyE Wrote:
When asking what type of TP... none other than Charmin Ultra. I will not sink below this. Super soft. Does not chafe. Awesome. My only complaint is that they do not sell packages with less than 12 rolls in them. I live by myself, so I only need maybe 4-6 rolls at a time. But am forced to buy these huge bulk packs now, and have to find somewhere to stash all these extra rolls. Granted, I only have to buy TP every 3 months...


I used that stuff for awhile when it first came out, then it got too expensive. Can also leave you with that "hey, did I just take a suppository?" feeling. That's the main reason I abandoned it.

On another note, what percentage of single wipers do y'all get? Me, about 5-10%. That's as close as I can get without the chart thing.

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because you're empty, and I'm empty

Cotton Wrote:
I'd probably just drink myself to death. More so, I mean.


"Hey Judas. I know you've made a grave mistake.
Hey Peter. You've been pretty sweet since Easter break."

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HaqDiesel
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:42 pm 
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Stop Breathin' Wrote:
I used that stuff for awhile when it first came out, then it got too expensive. Can also leave you with that "hey, did I just take a suppository?" feeling.


What? Why?
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shaMoxie
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:42 pm 
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Serious, B.
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schadenfreude
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:43 pm 
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Too bad we don't have the old cmj thread to suggest "music to listen to while taking a dump". Now that was a useless thread.

excuse me, I got a turtle head that I need to take care of.
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no guru
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:46 pm 
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schadenfreude Wrote:
Too bad we don't have the old cmj thread to suggest "music to listen to while taking a dump.


Solomon Burke - "Don't Give Up On Me"
Salt 'N Pepa - "Push It"
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Senator LooGAR
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:51 pm 
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A True Aristocrat of Freedom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:46 am
Posts: 22121
Location: a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot
Well, a laptop + wireless internet + The John makes me Obner's answer to Lyndon Johnson.

_________________
Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry Wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT Wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 2:20 pm 
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Senator Top Cat LooGAR Wrote:
Well, a laptop + wireless internet + The John makes me Obner's answer to Lyndon Johnson.


Borg! Get your ass in here and take down this letter!

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A poet and philosopher, Mr. Marcus is married and is a proud parent.

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no guru
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 2:23 pm 
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frostingspoon
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It's a nice and lovely image to visualize Yeti Matlock posting from the dingleshoot.
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red
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 2:34 pm 
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Chuck(e)D Wrote:
oldbullee Wrote:
When I travel, I don't shit. Usually when I get home I have a miserable first day back.


That's what my ex-wife was like, as I went merrily tramping into the woods with my shovel and roll of toilet paper.


i used to be shy until i developed altitude sickness on a hiking trip last year. all dignity was gone at 6900ft.
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MontyTheMongoose
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:03 pm 
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KILLFILED

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red Wrote:
Chuck(e)D Wrote:
oldbullee Wrote:
When I travel, I don't shit. Usually when I get home I have a miserable first day back.


That's what my ex-wife was like, as I went merrily tramping into the woods with my shovel and roll of toilet paper.


i used to be shy until i developed altitude sickness on a hiking trip last year. all dignity was gone at 6900ft.

MEGA Wrote:
69'd!!1!
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Cap'n Squirrgle
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:04 pm 
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Location: On the gas and tappin' ass
Elvis Fu Wrote:
Senator Top Cat LooGAR Wrote:
Well, a laptop + wireless internet + The John makes me Obner's answer to Lyndon Johnson.


Borg! Get your ass in here and take down this letter!


Boy, I been smellin your shit for 18 years - you can't smell mine for 30 seconds?!

_________________
[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:28 pm 
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Wiping your ass with a white cotton undershirt is a pleasure best described as gently swabbing your pucker with the wing of an angel straight from heaven.

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A poet and philosopher, Mr. Marcus is married and is a proud parent.

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Cotton
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:39 pm 
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Alcoholic National Treasure

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i'm wondering how much I can distance from my thread right now.

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Are you kidding? I have no talents. Nothing. I was very well educated to be an idiot. And I was a very good student.

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daystar
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:40 pm 
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Post-Breakup Solo Project
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Elvis Fu Wrote:
Wiping your ass with a white cotton undershirt is a pleasure best described as gently swabbing your pucker with the wing of an angel straight from heaven.


tell me you've never REALLY done that? :shock:

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http://www.flickr.com/sunshinedaystar

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:42 pm 
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Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
OH YES I HAVE.

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A poet and philosopher, Mr. Marcus is married and is a proud parent.

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daystar
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:45 pm 
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Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


<barf> :?


did you throw the shirt away?
you didn't wash it, did you?
please tell me you threw it away!

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http://www.flickr.com/sunshinedaystar

Last edited by daystar on Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Senator LooGAR
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:45 pm 
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A True Aristocrat of Freedom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:46 am
Posts: 22121
Location: a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


But on the other end of the spectrum, have you ever used coffee filters or newspaper?

_________________
Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry Wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT Wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)

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no guru
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:46 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Posts: 17359
Location: cogthrobber
I've always wanted one of those ritzy Frenchy bidet things.

Or "cat drinking fountain" I guess.
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Chuck D
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:47 pm 
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Worldwide Phenomenon

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:41 pm
Posts: 3158
Location: San Francisco, CA
Stranded
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl
Stranded
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl
What do you do when you're stranded
And there ain't nothing on the roll?
To prove you're a man
You must wipe it with your hand
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl !

_________________
Radcliffe Wrote:
I'm kinda like Jesus in that respect. And Allah. Jesus and Allah all rolled up into a single ball of seething bitter rage.

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:50 pm 
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Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
DayStar Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


<barf> :?


did you throw the shirt away?
you didn't wash it, did you?
please tell me you threw it away!


I don't know what happened to it. It wasn't my shirt.


Senator Top Cat LooGAR Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


But on the other end of the spectrum, have you ever used coffee filters or newspaper?


No, but that's probably why I always leave at least one pair of socks on my bathroom floor.

_________________
A poet and philosopher, Mr. Marcus is married and is a proud parent.

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daystar
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:51 pm 
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god. boys are so gross. :P :lol:

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Cap'n Squirrgle
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:52 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 24583
Location: On the gas and tappin' ass
Elvis Fu Wrote:
DayStar Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


<barf> :?


did you throw the shirt away?
you didn't wash it, did you?
please tell me you threw it away!


I don't know what happened to it. It wasn't my shirt.


Senator Top Cat LooGAR Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


But on the other end of the spectrum, have you ever used coffee filters or newspaper?


No, but that's probably why I always leave at least one pair of socks on my bathroom floor.


...and no little lady's snapped you up yet?

_________________
[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:54 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Posts: 15260
Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
The shirt wipe helped alleviate some of the inconvenience of having to squat by a tree outside of a farm supply store on a drunken walk home.

_________________
A poet and philosopher, Mr. Marcus is married and is a proud parent.

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:54 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Location: Raised on bread and bologna.
Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:
...and no little lady's snapped you up yet?


I don't like any of my friends' girlfriends. OH SHIT. :wink: :wink:

_________________
A poet and philosopher, Mr. Marcus is married and is a proud parent.

Last edited by Elvis Fu on Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Senator LooGAR
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:55 pm 
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A True Aristocrat of Freedom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:46 am
Posts: 22121
Location: a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot
Elvis Fu Wrote:
DayStar Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


<barf> :?


did you throw the shirt away?
you didn't wash it, did you?
please tell me you threw it away!


I don't know what happened to it. It wasn't my shirt.


Senator Top Cat LooGAR Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
OH YES I HAVE.


But on the other end of the spectrum, have you ever used coffee filters or newspaper?


No, but that's probably why I always leave at least one pair of socks on my bathroom floor.


My roomates and I tried to 'outlast' each other one year. As in a game of attrition to see who would break down and buy tp. They both secretly bought some and after afew days, they were like "WTF"

my answer: COFFEE FILTERS. You can't out ghetto me.

_________________
Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry Wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT Wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)

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