Oops! I Crapped My Pants!

Fucking hilarious!

Someone spill the beans about the last time they shit their pants. I know you're out there.

has anybody done that as an adult? really?

I did. I was at Outback with my best friend and his fiance, and I farted and some diareha squirted out, but I clenched real quick, but it was too late, some got on my pants, I ran to the bathroom, and cleaned up as best I could so I could finish eating my $20 prime rib. Their prime rib is to good to let some crappy pants get in between us.

I did in a thread about a week ago. The poo one. Y'know, buried underwear, the whole lot.

Good going, Tim.

Mine was about 4 years ago, when I had an upstairs apartment. I don't remember where I was coming from, but it was a "not if but when" moment, and counting down fast. There were two doors, one at the bottom of the stairs, and one at the top of the stairs, and they both had deadbolts.

I didn't even close the bottom door, but as I went to unlock the top one, I witnessed my keys fall out of my hand and tumble halfway down the stairs in prime time sitcom slow motion.

It was a Very Special Episode of "According to Fu".

This is true. I just added one. People need to start coming out of the closet on this.

"How do you know so much about Oops! I Crapped My Pants?"
"I'm wearing them, and I just did."

Haven't seen this in forever.

You didn't answer the question.

sometimes i shart

i did about 10 years ago or so. i was on a city bus in las vegas and really had to shit and i was pretty much in the middle of nowhere so i got off and ran behind some wall but by then it was too late. i walked to a supermarket that was nearby and used the restroom and cleaned myself off as well as i could.

Answer what question?

Not really a question, huh. Spillit.

There was a kid we grew up with who went to moon friends of mine and then fart, but instead of farting, he just shit all on my friend's carpet. This was in 6th grade and he went thru 12th grade in the same area. He was called "The Shitter" for years. He was a prick, so he deserved it.

np: new placebo record-loving this!!!!

The time I got lost in the woods when I was 13, yeah.

ehhh, it's just a messageboard...so why not.

about 5 years ago, on a VERY hungover sunday morning, i was playing golf with some friends. anyways, i was in that stomach-churning, hazey, out-of-it early morning hangover phase.

by the third hole, i was feeling better...having chugged a large bottle of gatorade. i thought i was ready for a cigarette. bad idea. i felt a shit coming on quickly. i was a good 200 yards from the clubhouse, and even further from the portajohn around the 6th hole. oh, also...this was a 9 hole course, so we were walking -- no carts.

i excused myself from the foursome, and started that fast i-gotta-shit walk towards the clubhouse. as i got closer and closer, the i-gotta-shit factor increased to emergency levels. about 3/4's there, my sphincter started doing some wierd things that made me stop in my tracks. i literally could not move. i had been squeezing so tight that my sphincter started trembling. 100% of my concentration could not keep that thing tight. it just started opening, little by little. i started to freak out. i was right by the putting green, and there were people there. i can see the clubhouse...it's so close...please GOD let me make it there. nope...this shit is coming NOW!

somehow, i was able to move enough to get behind a huge pine tree...and just in time. i lost full control of my sphincter and PLOP, out came one of those mudball shits that you get when you're hungover. oh yeah, did i mention i was wearing shorts? so, yeah...it dropped right out of my boxers, out of my shorts and onto the ground right between my feet. it was unreal. for crapping my pants, this was as clean as it possibly could've been. i headed down to the creek, took off my boxers, cleaned myself up with 'em and left 'em hanging on a tree branch to commemorate the occasion.

i then re-joined my foursome never to say a word to anyone but my wife, and now...obner.

Jason rules. Good story.

i'm about ready to crap my pants right now. I ate nothing but jalepenos and like 30 different kind of endangered species last night.

Holy shit that Was good.

So when I worked in that brewery in germany, everybody always wanted to "grill steaks," but beef was super expensive, so "steaks" were pork. Wierd, hairy cuts of pork. I'm a good sport, I ate some one night, and drank a ton of beer. The job started at 6am, 5 on fridays. I got there the next morning and felt like ASS.

Toughed it out until about 8, and then *knock knock* guess who's here? But the bathrooms are allll the way up on a catwalk overlooking the whole huge factory... like a 3 minute walk, and everyone can see you the whole way. So you can't really sprint, or duckwalk.

By the time I got in there, I was about to die. (By the way, they make you wear these green overalls, too. That's important in a second.) I sprint to the stall, un-do the clips on the overalls, and just Barely make it. After what feels like ten minutes, I begin to take stock of the situation. I venture a peek down there, and to my utter horror, discover that the straps to my overalls are down in there amongst the carnage.

Nobody's around, thank god. I stand up, and accidentally make contact betwixt the straps and my boxers, as well as a tiny corner of my t-shirt. Shitfuck. I throw away the boxers, and scrub the straps / t-shirt in the sink. I then go back down and work another 6 hours with no underwear or pants on, (which means that everytime I reach for something, the t-shirt rides up to reveal the side of my ass), and a wet t-shirt and straps, which nobody seemed to notice. I think.

ok, let's all laugh our asses off again about this

http://shtick.org/Misc/ryans.htm

I mean, come on:

NO, NO... Now, whenever that happens, an employee undertakes a gruesome defecation and gets some of it on the straps of his overalls (as they hang down in the bowl), they call it "getting Squirrrgggled".

You're a legend, in your own time, my man. That's all there is to it.

Getting squirrgled means getting fired for obnering. Crapping on your own uniform is Taking A Cap'n.

Not a story about me, but a friend of mine recently told me about him getting shitfaced and while standing in the shower having an urge to fart. Once he let loose though....he let LOOSE. Automatic reaction: 1)immediately put hand back there to catch whatever is coming out of your naked body to keep the shower clean. 2)Open curtain, drop in toilet located conveniently next to shower.

3)Never drink full bottle of Beam in that short of a time span by yourself again.

Never crapped on myself of note. A couple of wet farts and such but nothing interesting. I did have a friend who used to get so drunk, he often passed out and peed in the bed with the girl he brought home in the bed with him. Recently another of my friends who has a drunken peeing problem, passed out head down on the bar and pissed all over himself.