God Bless Jon Stewart.

I'll be singing this to Aerosmith in my head all week now.

NICE. Looking forward to the online clip.

Olbermann as well. Fourth story on the countdown was labelled "Cheney's got a gun". Also, they used the Duck Hunt motif to "re-enact" the shooting.

And, since Olbermann's show runs three hours before Stewart's, I give the edge to MSNBC.

God Bless Keith Olbermann.

Lol.

"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."


"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."


"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."


"The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC

"Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."


"That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."


"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "


"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"

"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central

The show's segment titles included "Cheney's Got a Gun," "No. 2 With a Bullet" and "Dead-Eye Dick."


"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."


"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."

"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS

"He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."


"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "


"The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."


"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."

Nothing here strikes me as particularly witty nor clever--cheap lawyer jokes, cheap politician jokes, a frighteningly obvious Aerosmith play on words.... The Leno writers offered the best of the lot--the "Duck" cologne is *funny*.

Other than that, it's all anti-climax given the wonderful absurdity of the event.

Leno is just plain lame in general. The best of the bunch would be:

I can see exactly how Stewart would say the last sentence, timing and expression and all.

Someone post the Stewart one if you have it, please.

This Cheney shooting thing is quickly becoming the most overdone and not-funny-anymore bit of "news" of 2006.

Though, jokes about cigars, blowjobs or flip-flops, that SHEE FUNGEE!!!!!

You are like the guy in Brain Candy "MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING!!"

It just got funny again because the White House is trying to spin it that it's the old guy's fault for not yelling, "Hey, don't shoot, I'm over here."

true, but this is still funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uer-l65V ... =Cheney%20

Nope, those were generally un-funny as well, although the graduating class that showed up in blue berets was pretty funny.

"to church ever once ina while, when the wife gets on me"

the funniest part about this is hearing people call into talk shows and complain that east coast liberalcrats are showing their ignorance and don't understand hunting.

Course some of them east coast libracrats spent their whole developing years around hunting.

(raises hand)

I don't suppose the fact that there are liberal rednecks has ever occurred to some of these callers?

Well, maybe not liberal. I guess the correct term is "orn'ry sumbitch"

Or in my case "shit detection advocate."

We should invite them to Obner.

I think Loogar's one of them, but Ol' Dave wants to pretend to be pragmatic.

But he seems to be like a behemoth Southern version of Adam Schiff from Law & Order. His idealism is curdled. Intact, but curdled.

i also get a kick out of these callers complaining that the liberalcrats are making too big a deal of this . . . like they wouldn't have a field day of humor if Gore had shot his friend on a quail farm.

Letterman = funny
Leno = bumbling idiot who ruins it with his delivery
Craig = surprisingly funny

I'm glad SOMEBODY pays attention.

There's a possibility of it getting less funny. Doctors are removing a piece of bird shot from the guy's heart this afternoon.

That's not quite as cute for the old fart as having your nose and cheeks smart up a bit.

yeah, it was funnier when he only go hurt.
i hope he doesn't die.